First steps after relationship breakdown
Dezza_G
Posts: 1 Newbie
hi guys,
I’m going through a separation and dealing with the inevitable complexities arising from it.
I intend to seek professional guidance from an appropriate person to support myself through the process. To begin with, I need a realistic understanding of where I stand from a legal perspective, what is involved and an idea of timescales, costs etc.
I’ve been advised there are some very knowledgeable people here and would really appreciate any assistance or guidance you can give me in taking my first steps.
I’m trying to work out what to do with regards to the money I put down as the deposit for the family home, sharing responsibility/access rights to the kids, future liabilities and what comes next. All detailed here as briefly as I could be:
- We have been married for almost 5 years, and within the first year of marriage we bought our own place. I put down the entire £100,000 deposit which I received as an inheritance from my uncle (after our wedding). The house has now also appreciated by £100,000 since purchase.
For me to move on with my life, I need to get this £100,000 deposit back somehow. Am I entitled to it all? Or will it be subject to an asset split? And are those splits generally 50:50? (All assets have been accrued since the wedding.)
Releasing the equity would undoubtedly require the selling of the house, and perhaps cause much upheaval for everyone involved.
- We have a child together, and she also has a child from before we met. She is currently happy for me to have equal access to our child. Whilst she is still agreeable, should I get an agreement formalised? I’m mindful that she may later attempt to use this as a bartering tool especially if the house sale/split of funds turns sour. I understand courts decide based on the child’s needs - am I being realistic in hoping for near 50:50 access? This would be possible with my job/location etc and I would prefer this to occasional weekend visits. I have always been very hands-on raising the kids outside of my work schedule.
- Throughout the marriage, I was the sole/key earner in the household. My partner had occasional part-time jobs but the significant proportion of household income was earned by me.
Should the separation become more permanent, what would my liabilities be with regards to child support and bills for their household? Currently all bills are covered by me, plus an agreed amount sent each week to meet the child’s needs. This is a temporary arrangement we came to immediately after the split. Perhaps this needs to be reviewed at some point too.
Should we sell the house to release my deposit, how would this affect my contributions to my partner? Would my liability now include rent for them?
We are currently at informal discussion stages, however with the potential for animosity over the property sale etc, I would like to get some aspects such as access to the child agreed whilst we can agree on something favourable.
Who should I be looking to to prepare this? Would I need a solicitor? Or is there another suitable organisation/profession who can support me?
thank you for taking the time to read through and answer my queries
I’m going through a separation and dealing with the inevitable complexities arising from it.
I intend to seek professional guidance from an appropriate person to support myself through the process. To begin with, I need a realistic understanding of where I stand from a legal perspective, what is involved and an idea of timescales, costs etc.
I’ve been advised there are some very knowledgeable people here and would really appreciate any assistance or guidance you can give me in taking my first steps.
I’m trying to work out what to do with regards to the money I put down as the deposit for the family home, sharing responsibility/access rights to the kids, future liabilities and what comes next. All detailed here as briefly as I could be:
- We have been married for almost 5 years, and within the first year of marriage we bought our own place. I put down the entire £100,000 deposit which I received as an inheritance from my uncle (after our wedding). The house has now also appreciated by £100,000 since purchase.
For me to move on with my life, I need to get this £100,000 deposit back somehow. Am I entitled to it all? Or will it be subject to an asset split? And are those splits generally 50:50? (All assets have been accrued since the wedding.)
Releasing the equity would undoubtedly require the selling of the house, and perhaps cause much upheaval for everyone involved.
- We have a child together, and she also has a child from before we met. She is currently happy for me to have equal access to our child. Whilst she is still agreeable, should I get an agreement formalised? I’m mindful that she may later attempt to use this as a bartering tool especially if the house sale/split of funds turns sour. I understand courts decide based on the child’s needs - am I being realistic in hoping for near 50:50 access? This would be possible with my job/location etc and I would prefer this to occasional weekend visits. I have always been very hands-on raising the kids outside of my work schedule.
- Throughout the marriage, I was the sole/key earner in the household. My partner had occasional part-time jobs but the significant proportion of household income was earned by me.
Should the separation become more permanent, what would my liabilities be with regards to child support and bills for their household? Currently all bills are covered by me, plus an agreed amount sent each week to meet the child’s needs. This is a temporary arrangement we came to immediately after the split. Perhaps this needs to be reviewed at some point too.
Should we sell the house to release my deposit, how would this affect my contributions to my partner? Would my liability now include rent for them?
We are currently at informal discussion stages, however with the potential for animosity over the property sale etc, I would like to get some aspects such as access to the child agreed whilst we can agree on something favourable.
Who should I be looking to to prepare this? Would I need a solicitor? Or is there another suitable organisation/profession who can support me?
thank you for taking the time to read through and answer my queries
0
Comments
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hi guys,
I’m going through a separation and dealing with the inevitable complexities arising from it.
I intend to seek professional guidance from an appropriate person to support myself through the process. To begin with, I need a realistic understanding of where I stand from a legal perspective, what is involved and an idea of timescales, costs etc.
I’ve been advised there are some very knowledgeable people here and would really appreciate any assistance or guidance you can give me in taking my first steps.
I’m trying to work out what to do with regards to the money I put down as the deposit for the family home, sharing responsibility/access rights to the kids, future liabilities and what comes next. All detailed here as briefly as I could be:
- We have been married for almost 5 years, and within the first year of marriage we bought our own place. I put down the entire £100,000 deposit which I received as an inheritance from my uncle (after our wedding). The house has now also appreciated by £100,000 since purchase.
For me to move on with my life, I need to get this £100,000 deposit back somehow. Am I entitled to it all? Or will it be subject to an asset split? And are those splits generally 50:50? (All assets have been accrued since the wedding.)
Releasing the equity would undoubtedly require the selling of the house, and perhaps cause much upheaval for everyone involved.
- We have a child together, and she also has a child from before we met. She is currently happy for me to have equal access to our child. Whilst she is still agreeable, should I get an agreement formalised? I’m mindful that she may later attempt to use this as a bartering tool especially if the house sale/split of funds turns sour. I understand courts decide based on the child’s needs - am I being realistic in hoping for near 50:50 access? This would be possible with my job/location etc and I would prefer this to occasional weekend visits. I have always been very hands-on raising the kids outside of my work schedule.
- Throughout the marriage, I was the sole/key earner in the household. My partner had occasional part-time jobs but the significant proportion of household income was earned by me.
Should the separation become more permanent, what would my liabilities be with regards to child support and bills for their household? Currently all bills are covered by me, plus an agreed amount sent each week to meet the child’s needs. This is a temporary arrangement we came to immediately after the split. Perhaps this needs to be reviewed at some point too.
Should we sell the house to release my deposit, how would this affect my contributions to my partner? Would my liability now include rent for them?
We are currently at informal discussion stages, however with the potential for animosity over the property sale etc, I would like to get some aspects such as access to the child agreed whilst we can agree on something favourable.
Who should I be looking to to prepare this? Would I need a solicitor? Or is there another suitable organisation/profession who can support me?
thank you for taking the time to read through and answer my queries
Since you're married the assets will be split in the divorce, so informal arrangements are only temporary.0 -
As far as I understand it, since you have been married for over 3 years, if it went to court, all money and assets would be split. I would not make any difference even if you had received the £100,000 inheritance before the marriage. It also makes very little difference who earned the majority of the money.
If your wife's child from a previous relationship was supported by you, and not receiving child support from the Dad, you would be liable to pay support for that child as well as your own.
It depends on how old the children are, but unless they are nearing 16, you will be unlikely to get 50% of the house or any other assets. You stand to lose 60-70% of everything and probably also have to pay spousal maintenance on top especially if your wife is a low earner. This may be time-limited or less likely - forever.
If the children are nearing 16 you might get a 50/50 split and a 'clean break', i.e. only child support and no spousal maintenance.
I am not a legal expert tho!0 -
The_Maestro wrote: »As far as I understand it, since you have been married for over 3 years, if it went to court, all money and assets would be split. I would not make any difference even if you had received the £100,000 inheritance before the marriage. It also makes very little difference who earned the majority of the money.
If your wife's child from a previous relationship was supported by you, and not receiving child support from the Dad, you would be liable to pay support for that child as well as your own. - Incorrect
It depends on how old the children are, but unless they are nearing 16, you will be unlikely to get 50% of the house or any other assets. - rubbish You stand to lose 60-70% of everything and probably also have to pay spousal maintenance - almost never ordered on top especially if your wife is a low earner. This may be time-limited or less likely - forever.
If the children are nearing 16 you might get a 50/50 split and a 'clean break', i.e. only child support and no spousal maintenance.
I am not a legal expert tho!
Definitely not a legal expert - So why are you posting scaremongering?0 -
so what happended fella?365 Day 1p challenge - £371.49 / 667.95
Emergency Fund £1000 / £1000 ( will enlarge once debts are cleared)
DFW - £TBC0 -
The OP logged off 6 hours after posting has hasn't returned since.0
This discussion has been closed.
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