Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

crazy_cat_lady · 5 February 2017 at 6:17PM

Ugh, I don't know what has happened to me. I didn't sleep that well last night, but I've had way worse nights and survived, but I've just felt ghastly for most of today. I came downstairs at half four in the morning and watched Casualty and Air Crash Investigation, then went back to sleep for a couple of hours before waking up in an absolutely foul mood, with a headache. I can only assume that it's stress or tired related, because I still haven't managed to shake this stupid Friday incident from my head yet. Ridiculous.
I really need to pick up and read my book that is all about dealing with worry. It's upstairs, beside my bed and I have the time to look at it. That will be what I do as soon as I close the laptop down. I hate being in moods like this.
So decided to have a PJ day, which means I've bagged a nsd by default. I did do the housework though, including hoover at 8am because I was so fed up of not having gotten it done yesterday. I then batch cooked more kidney beans than I've ever seen in my life - 9 bags in the freezer and 1 bag to make into hummus for now. Also slow cooked a joint of beef and some ys veggies so there's plenty of food on the go at the moment.
There's not much else to report - bit of crochet, snooze on the sofa, and now I'm going to go and read my book.

crazy_cat_lady · 5 February 2017 at 8:18PM

Hmmm - read an interesting chapter in my book. About how ruminating on something (like I have been) tends to be more a symptom of depression rather than worry. Worriers tend to fret about things that might happen in the future - which I am incredibly guilty of. Not that I think I'm depressed - all other symptoms are classic of my worrying, just found it interesting...

Bobarella · 5 February 2017 at 11:21PM

Sorry you've been worrying about the incident Cat. And hope you will have a better night's sleep as well.

takingcontrolatlast · 6 February 2017 at 12:07AM

Does your book tell you how to deal with worry CCL? I too worry ... mostly about my daughters being safe - that's the biggy! then I can worry about "what if's" and then I worry about what I've said and whether I've offended anyone or sounded stupid - I know I do it and have to say to myself "stop"!

Hope you have a good night

crazy_cat_lady · 6 February 2017 at 10:10AM

TCAL - you sound exactly like me. The book is brilliant - it's called 'overcoming worry and generalised anxiety disorder' and it is marketed as a self help book. It has all of the techniques in it that I learned when I was in CBT, and from my point of view it serves as a really good reminder of some of the things I forget when I'm on the slide. As a result, by the time I went to sleep last night I had managed to look at the Friday situation from an alternative perspective and was feeling much better about the whole thing.
Fast forward to this morning - we get up - we go off to school and work. Over half way there when ds turns to me in the car and says he feels sick literally milliseconds before he throws up in the car. I had thought he was looking a bit pale but didn't say anything to him as he hadn't mentioned it at all. Anyway - pull in at Arseda and run in to buy kitchen roll, wipes, bags and Calpol. Of course I've had to ring in at work because there's no way he can go into school. Now for a worrier like me this is a massive deal - out of routine, letting people down, taking time off work when I'm already worried about something that's going on there. So much guilt - so back into the book I go for more techniques to settle myself down. I took the car for a valet after I'd cleaned up the worst then came home. DS has gone straight to bed and is asleep and I'm here with an unexpected day off and a load of guilt about stuff that I have no control over at all. I'm going to relax and probably nap myself as I don't think I'm 100% either in fairness. First though I'm going to wash up, hoover and have a massive cup of tea and read my book so I can get my head straight.
I've already spent a fortune this morning on medicine and cleaning stuff but I see that as completely unavoidable. Other than that I don't plan on spending any cash - I don't think I'll be leaving the house again today. Not sure what my other plans are for the day ahead. I don't cope well with last minute change so will need to think. Onwards with the cuppa and reading :coffee:

takingcontrolatlast · 6 February 2017 at 11:06AM

Oh no what a start to a Monday morning :eek:

I hope DS has a speedy recovery - "it's better out than in" so to speak - he's better off in bed as you say and you too... make the best of the situation and have a proper lazy day - you so deserve it!!!

Try not to beat yourself up with not going in to work - you have no choice as your son is your priority and you are doing the right thing. Now I know what I'm saying won't actually stop you worrying but please, try too and make the most of today (rest) and then hopefully you will be stronger tomorrow. Work will understand.

On a positive, your car is nice and clean - tick that job done!

I will look out for that book - many thanks for the recommendation. I'm good at telling others what to do haha but I'd be feeling the same if shoe on other foot.... but looking at it from the outside, have a lazy day concentrating on you and your dear boy

crazy_cat_lady · 7 February 2017 at 7:32PM

I think that you and I could almost be the same person TCAL. I too am pretty ok at giving out advice, being objective and seeing the good in other people, but can't seem to place that importance on myself. I find the book really useful, but you have to buy into it and do the work that it suggests - so if you're prepared to do that then I say go for it.
Thankfully, ds is a load better today and I've sent him back to school. It's a 24 hour policy there, so I could. Didn't fancy another day off anyway - I was already stressing about how much I'd missed yesterday. And ds was getting difficult to entertain by 3pm yesterday (he was totally better by then) so we might have killed each other if we'd had another forced day indoors.
Work was fine - actually went reasonably ok for a Tuesday. I'm non stop teaching plus teaching during form and an after school session so I don't get to stop very much and am usually tired. Less so this week - presumably because I was off yesterday. I did have to tidy my classroom and replace all of my pens and rubbers but that is standard stuff after a day off.
I didn't have a good night last night so really fancy a night of going right through tonight if I can. I feel tired and ready for a good sleep. Not happening at the moment though due to illness of ds, my general stress levels, never seeing dh because we're on such opposite work and sleep hours. I don't know how well he is at the moment - he seems to have been really grumpy the past couple of days. I don't think that it's me but I haven't had the time when I haven't been exhausted to try and talk to him. I suppose all I can do is to leave him to it and hope that he feels better soon or decides to talk to me.
DS says he's well enough for football tonight (deep joy) so I'll be off out in a bit and may not get back on tonight (should be bed pretty much as soon as we get home). Hope everyone is doing ok, and I'll catch up as and when I can.

takingcontrolatlast · 8 February 2017 at 7:48PM

Hope you had a good night's sleep last night - glad DS is much better

crazy_cat_lady · 8 February 2017 at 8:21PM

Evening all :coffee: :hello:
I'm really tired. You can tell half term is creeping up on us because it's that constant exhaustion again... I feel like I'm swimming through treacle. Spent almost 2 hours after school marking and I don't think I'm much further forward. Mood is ok but not great - just keep reminding myself that I'm way less stressed and run down than I was this time last year. I just wish Year 11 cared as much as I do.
Anyway. I'm home, I've prepped and frozen all of the leftovers at long last and I have a new found determination to save some money on food and eating out. That's one of my biggest weaknesses. I have a really full freezer and all I need is to be less lazy when it comes to preparing food. I've promised the kids that we'll use any extra saved money to go away over May half term.
Other than that, very little to report. Work, home, work, home etc. I'm trying not to do anything too out of the ordinary or too different because I'm not in the frame of mind for it. Just carrying on as normal.

Bobarella · 8 February 2017 at 10:09PM

I'm so glad DS was OK to go back to school. And his bug hasn't transferred on to you.

Good on you for your new found enthusiasm on the food stuff, long may it last!

Half term is coming soon!

Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

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