Blowing in the Winds of Change

Hello dear people, :hello:

Phew. In the PwME community, they call it "payback" - the price for using more energy than one has in reserve. Joined-up thinking is impossible through the fog, and everything hurts.
With lots of help from DS3 and GGF, Clever Dog and self have been relocated from camper-van to Nest. Van is secure at the guarded Parking yard, we have food and CD now has a safe fenced garden where she can wander at will (thanks to DS4). She is enjoying this limited freedom, not having to go everywhere on her lead.. But her horizons are closing in; sometimes I cannot keep upright or awake long enough and then we miss the eight-hour doses of CD's meds; without constant topping up she feels arthritic and sad. A couple of times she's woken me by squeaking as she's tried to stretch out - I struggle to remember how long it was since her last dose of GP? Dear Vet said I can give CD some Tramadol if the GP isn't enough, but thus far I can't remember where I hid the pills before leaving the Nest last Summer. Brain fog.

Am actually dreading Xmas Day. DS1 is adamant he wants the Family Feast at his place - despite certain emotional issues which could well spark fireworks - but CD will hate it. She doesn't know the layout and DiL's dog attacks her at every opportunity, DS1's dog frightens her because he's young and bouncy, and the neighbour has half a dozen eight-week-old pitbull pups running around (plus their parents who I do not trust in CD's vicinity)..

I am torn. It is clear CD will not be walking the Earth much longer. She is still happy to make a short excursion every day - sometimes she could obviously go much further than I can manage at the moment, and she isn't phased by the Nest's 23[?] steps which tells me more than anything else that the meds [when given on time] are controlling her arthritis effectively.. CD still enjoys her grub - so long as each meal is not a repeat of the one before, and it's a menu she likes..

We called in at Dear Vet's clinic on the way to delivering camper-van in town; it took two of us to hold CD still for a pedicure. Given CD's determination DV said she didn't think a full check-up would be helpful, while expressing surprise that CD was still with us - let alone able to object so strongly to having her toenails clipped!
DV also gently reminded me that when CD has had enough of this World, she and her Boss will come out to the Nest to help CD cross the Bridge..

Meanwhile DS3 and GGF have 'adopted' my Spanish van. They decided not to take the winter jobs they had lined up (tbh, the more details emerged the more like slave-labour it sounded; quite disgraceful for professional employment). They are helping me out a lot; doing most of the running about, bless them both. DS3 took my tax payment down to the lawyer - over £1K but should avoid the threatened fine by filing the last four years' returns in time (it's a new government wheeze to squeeze cash out of foreign home-owners). GGF has found and brought me several presents for people I didn't know would be joining the clan this year.

All the houses are already occupied by various family and friends; as far as I know the only space left vacant is my caravan - fingers crossed nobody else arrives unannounced to fill it! ..Does that sound mean? I'm sorry; am not the most sociable person while in the middle of an ME crash (especially if it means sharing my bathroom and entertaining unexpected visitors).

It's a beautiful day today; am grateful for the blue sky and sunshine, the flocks of beautiful wild songbirds - including several partridges [admittedly their song is not particularly melodic] - who have made homes at the Nest, and being able to share precious moments with my beloved CD.

A belated Happy New Year to all MSEers, :hello:

Thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to comment since m' last post; I see it has taken me a month to assemble enough brain-cells for attempting an update..

We survived Christmas; One of the visitors took me up to DS1's for the meal while CD stayed at home. Tbh I was completely exhausted and glad of a lift back to the Nest three hours later, which wasn't too long to leave CD - so a solution which was the best of both Worlds.
Glad I was able to join in; the feast was stupendous, everyone was on their best behaviour - apart from a pack of over-excited dogs who were all young, bouncy and entirely without manners (CD would have hated the chaos they caused).
DGS' favourite present was a toy drone robot, which kept him and his best friend in a state of delighted happiness for at least the whole time I was there.

Divo Four ended up staying in my caravan after the visitors at DH's big cottage had a last-minute influx of guests of their own, which does tend to happen. They needed extra space so DS vacated his little house because he had a competition entry to write for an American magazine, and he likes working in the caravan. On Inauguration Day he found out that his piece won first prize; a decent pile of cash and publication in a special celebration issue! (Proud Mummy moment ).
..Time the dear lad signed up with our family accountant, methinks. He is already making a modest living from his talent, so needs to learn the rules for being self employed.

Clever Dog. Ah, well she's been bumbling on, very set in her routines and until a week ago apparently pain-free and happy; eating well, enjoying her daily walk and spending lots of time just sniffing the air in the garden. Then I ran out of one of the supplements which have been keeping CD as healthy as possible. You all know me by now; as well as Dear Vet's pills, CD has been taking GP, glucosamine, fish oils, D-Mannose, soldago, colloidal silver and OCV [latter three in her water bowl], and CBD oil since her brush with the UK vet at the beginning of last summer.
Three days after the CBD oil ran out, CD's demeanour changed. She started circling - common among blind dogs seeking to orientate themselves, but never something CD had done. I've always been impressed at how well she's remembered house layouts and walking routes since losing her sight. But it seemed that she was becoming confused, and sometimes she'd circle a dozen times and then just stand, calling me to rescue her.. Not a happy dog. I had to add DV's pain-killers to CD's regular meds.
On Saturday it was clear that she'd had enough. Keeping her going any longer would be for my benefit, not CD's.
Then fate stepped in. It was a fiesta weekend; both DV and Boss-vet were away, so the one vet on duty couldn't leave the clinic. No way was I going to subject CD to a last hour of distress by taking her to the clinic in the van she now hates.. So resolved to love her, spoil her with favourite meals and tons of attention, give us both one last weekend together - keeping CD's pain at bay with DV's big-pharma drug.
Having made the decision I gathered together sufficient supplies of all CD's meds so as to have everything on hand for keeping her comfortable. In the process, I found an old bottle of CBD oil with a little bit left in the bottom. The pipette couldn't reach that far down so I'd just put it back in the drawer.. Ha, didn't take long to find another longer [unused] pipette in my e-cig stocks, so started giving CD a few drops every eight hours.
By Sunday lunchtime the restless circling had stopped, CD was relaxed and seemed content again. She has resumed her little routines and sleeps well.
Boss vet 'phoned this morning but I missed his call because CD and I were outside enjoying the warmth of the sun.. Haven't called him back yet.
What to do? The rules changed at the end of last year; CBD is being recognised as an effective medication which means the suppliers are having to jump through governmental hoops; getting themselves registered, their products lab-tested and goodness knows what else.
There is only enough left in my CBD bottle for a couple of days' supply at best.. The brands available on-line here are unfamiliar, and I've no idea whether it's on sale in Spanish shops?

I should be concentrating on getting my annual figures to the afor-mentioned accountant before the end of the month, but that task doesn't seem as important as helping my beloved companion.

The finances are in chaos anyway, but that's a whole other post.

Am grateful for the love of CD, the honour of sharing her twilight days in the sunshine, and the support of m' darling Divos.. :heart2:

Maddiemay - my only resolution this year is to stop thinking of the dark times as "Black Dog" - you're right, it's not fair on all the wonderful canine companions in our lives.