Anxious about returning to work

Drumstation · 18 March 2018 at 8:08PM

I work alongside a man two days a week on a Wednesday and Thursday. On the other three days I am in a different office with different people.

On Thursday the man in question blew up at me over something that was not my fault. He swore at me repeatedly and called me obsence names. I got really upset. This was in front of other staff. I complained to the boss who bollocked this guy out and he will receive a written warning. I did get an apology from the guy but this was on the back of me having to email him first to get the answer to something for a client.

Usually i am quite a strong person and I don’t let things like this get on top of me. This is really different though. I am so teary and upset. I don’t want the guy to lose his job. He has a family but I just can’t seem to move forward. It’s playing on my mind all of the time. Ive been in the verge of tears since Thursday.

I don’t think work can do anything more and I’ll probably just need to try and get over it. Any advice?

BorisThomson · 18 March 2018 at 8:23PM

It was handled appropriately by the employer and your colleague has apologised to you.

What are your concerns about going back to work? Your colleague's behaviour was out of place but also seems to have been out of character, perhaps he has issues outside of work that caused the outburst. Sometimes we all have bad days.

The best thing you can do is get on with it and put it behind you. If not, it will eat up at you and affect your own work.

Smodlet · 18 March 2018 at 8:29PM

Without knowing any more about what happened, if all he did was yell at you, toughen up. If there was any hint of the threat of physical violence, presumably you would have told your employer at the time.

It's a tough world, work, more so than ever in these days of zero hours contracts. You will get plenty worse at some point; just wait until you p!zz off a big customer. You need to grow a thicker skin.

TELLIT01 · 18 March 2018 at 8:57PM

The matter has been addressed by management, and if the actions are repeated I suspect the offender would be out the door. You have done nothing wrong to put it behind you.

Takeaway_Addict · 18 March 2018 at 8:59PM

Drumstation wrote: »

I work alongside a man two days a week on a Wednesday and Thursday. On the other three days I am in a different office with different people.

On Thursday the man in question blew up at me over something that was not my fault. He swore at me repeatedly and called me obsence names. I got really upset. This was in front of other staff. I complained to the boss who bollocked this guy out and he will receive a written warning. I did get an apology from the guy but this was on the back of me having to email him first to get the answer to something for a client.

Usually i am quite a strong person and I don’t let things like this get on top of me. This is really different though. I am so teary and upset. I don’t want the guy to lose his job. He has a family but I just can’t seem to move forward. It’s playing on my mind all of the time. Ive been in the verge of tears since Thursday.

I don’t think work can do anything more and I’ll probably just need to try and get over it. Any advice?

Talk to someone- Don't bottle it up.

Even if it is a colleague you can open up to, more ideally the boss of this man who understands the situation.

IMO meet tomorrow head on!

Les79 · 18 March 2018 at 9:22PM

Drumstation wrote: »

Usually i am quite a strong person and I don’t let things like this get on top of me.

Well, I think you need to reflect on this part of your post...

Guy has been rightfully disciplined and apologised to you. All has been corrected and karma dished out.

There's not much reason for you to not move on here from what I can see. So one must beg the question as to why you aren't responding to this situation in your usual manner.... "I don't let things like this get on top of me".

My immediate thoughts are maybe that you aren't as "strong" as you say (nothing wrong with that) and you maybe do let things like that get on top of you, and hide it away/bottle it up which allows you to justify saying that it doesn't get on top of you.

Could be completely wrong like, but who knows!

[Deleted User] · 18 March 2018 at 10:14PM

Drumstation wrote: »

I work alongside a man two days a week on a Wednesday and Thursday. On the other three days I am in a different office with different people.

Any advice?

The above is worth hanging onto - you'll only be with him 2 days out of 3.

When I've had jobs I dread - I have taken comfort from counting the days down.

The other person probably feels as mortified - a bit late but you might like to do some reading - there are various books on the market such as "Learn how to swear well" or coping with different personalities down to slushy be kind / office humour titles right down to thinking what is the worst that can happen.

I've been in places where no one talks and can't think of anything worse. Just perhaps someone getting flighty is their way of passion for their job. Likewise there are things we do which sets of others behaviour. Again best to know about these things rather then it brew up.

Hope things get back to how they were for you. You are not alone, plenty of people have been anxious going back to work at some point or another.

pmduk · 19 March 2018 at 9:32AM

He's probably equally worried about how to face you!

Anxious about returning to work

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