Money Moral Dilemma: Should neighbour pay as her son smashed the window

trejoy · 15 September 2010 at 8:07AM

.She should pay. When our son fell off his bike,( due to pothole in road), and dented a car, we paid for the dent to be pulled.
Mind you when a lad threw brick at another and got our car, his family wouldn't pay, ( punched his son infront of hubby though!!! )

DJFearRoss · 15 September 2010 at 8:43AM

Kids should be banned from playing on streets where there is heavy parking. The council should have put up a 'no ball games' sign and then a breach of that could have meant a fine

And where do you think they should play? The local park? My child constanstly gets chased by dogs at the park, runs into dog poo or has the football burst by dogs. All the silly owners say is, "don't worry he doesn't bite". idiots. Parks should be renamed dog toilets, if i dropped my pants and did a dump there i'd be arrested.

aliasojo · 15 September 2010 at 8:51AM

hushabye wrote: »

We were very friendly neighbours at the time and I had, for several years had my neighbours' children to play round frequently, taken them out with us in the holidays and watched them whilst they 'popped out'. None of which was ever reciprocated.
She came to the door to ask for £130 for a new wing mirror (for an old Vauxhall Astra), and said the whole thing had to be replaced. We felt that we had been well and truly 'done over' and that none of the past favours had meant a thing to them.
We rarely speak these days, and having been 'done over' by someone for what we considered to be the right and honest way to deal with the issue, I would hesitate to own up over a similar thing in the future.

Not sure I agree with your feelings about this tbh. Damage is damage no matter who played where previously. I don't think people should be out of pocket just because they have had previous interaction with the people or person who caused the damage. Just my opinion, not saying I'm right.

By done over, do you mean £130 was too much? Did you expect her to get a part from a breaker's yard or something? Or do you mean done over as in made to pay at all?

BNT · 15 September 2010 at 9:06AM

The neighbor should definitely pay. However, the fact that you even had to ask speaks volumes.

She should pay; you've asked; she's refused. For £50 it doesn't seem worth wasting time pursuing if she's not got the money or the inclination. The idea of having the son wash the car or do some work sounds like a reasonable compromise that wouldn't create any ill will between you and the neighbor.

The legal aspect is clear. However, I think the moral aspect lies in how you react to the current situation. After all, it was an accident, by all accounts. So, while you've every right to feel cheated out of £50 that you shouldn't have to pay, you need to consider how much fuss you are comfortable making over an accident by a child. The answer to that will likely depend on factors beyond the incident quoted.

golddustmedia · 15 September 2010 at 9:07AM

Your neighbour should be setting an example to their son to take responsibility for his actions.

After all accident or not it is criminal damage.

If they cannot afford to pay £50 perhaps their son could work the debt off by doing odd jobs like mowing the lawn etc?

MSE_Martin · 15 September 2010 at 9:14AM

to those saying this isnt a money moral dilemma the neighbour should pay - just a note

the question is "what should i do?" not who should pay.

The_Wise_One · 15 September 2010 at 9:15AM

Knowing, from all the other opinions, that the Mum should pay, go and ask to have a chat with your neighbour. Try to avoid being confrontational and stay on an even keel. The young lad shouldn't think his mother's actions are the right way to go through life. Ask Mum to pay in affordable installments, perhaps from her son's pocket money. Or, if money's really tight and you'd be prepared to agree to this, ask for her son to pay some of it in kind by doing a few (or many) odd jobs for you.
If Mum won't play ball, I'd report if to my insurance company and let them deal with it. Bear in mind you'd need some evidence at this point in case she later denies the admission of guilt.

charis18uk · 15 September 2010 at 9:32AM

If I had spoken to the neighbour already and got nowhere I would choose to let it go. Yes £50 is a lot to lose, but the goodwill of your neighbours is also something of value. Besides, what else can you do? Writing a letter is just repeating the same dialogue you had verbally and she's already said no! It's a balancing act, how much do you want the money (and how realistic is it that you'll get it back) and how much do you value getting on with the neighbours.

I have a son who regularly plays out in the street with friends and this could easily happen to us. A couple of our neighbours park their cars in the street (despite having driveways/car ports) and everyone knows the kids play out there, I'd honestly say that if a car got damaged by accident I'd be of the mind that they took the risk parking in the street so wouldn't pay. Particularly one neighbour who has a double garage and a driveway with room for three cars and still insists on parking his oil leaking land rover in the street!!

That said, my son when he was a lot younger (six) purposely scratched my neighbours backlight of her car and she came and told me, I offered to pay for the damage on the spot, she declined as the damage was hardly noticable and she was more interested in making sure I was aware and could disipline my son accordingly.

mcmuffin2210 · 15 September 2010 at 9:36AM

I don't really know much about this kind of thing but I assume if you haven't already done so that if you let your insurance company know who has done it they will seek to reclaim from them personally - this has the added benefit of you being able to say ''sorry, it's not me asking you for cash - I was completely honest and answered all their questions about exactly what happened and if they've taken it upon themselves to reclaim it from you as they're legally entitled to do, it's out of my hands I'm afraid as it's nothing to do with me anymore''.

Alternatively - go into your local citizens advice. Speak to your local solicitor. You get the first 30 minutes free anyway so what's to lose? If you're on certain benefits you can get most if not all of any solicitor fees paid for should you decide to go with anything they suggest - but they'll let you know of any fees way in advance so you know what you're paying for. I know this because I'm not on any benefits but I had a mild dispute with a neighbour over who should pay for a fence (he said it was shared, I was 50% sure it was his). I went to my solicitor and all he charged me was £8 for a copy of the ordinance survey for my house showing bounderies. Small charge that saved me the £370 my neighbour wanted me to pay for half the cost of putting a fence up that he wanted cause he didn't want to be trimming the hedge 3 times a year!! Hope this helps x

Sandra_P · 15 September 2010 at 9:38AM

We had this same problem, the kids opposite rode into the side of our car and scratched it. It is an old 8 series BMW so cost a small fortune to repair the small scratch as it went across the door and the rear panel. We have asked and eventually told the kids to stop riding round the cars and they moved away for a short time then they came back. We have spoken to their parents and they have said that their kids would never have damaged someones car! We spoke to the police and because the kids are under 16, they cannot be charged with any criminal damage crime, and the parents cannot be made to pay for the damage. Nightmare, now whenever we hear the kids out the front we are constantly by the window.. not good for our sanity.

Money Moral Dilemma: Should neighbour pay as her son smashed the window

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