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  • FIRST POST
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 27th Jan 17, 5:30 PM
    • 513Posts
    • 2,305Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Small Steps Out Of Massive Debt!
    • #1
    • 27th Jan 17, 5:30 PM
    Small Steps Out Of Massive Debt! 27th Jan 17 at 5:30 PM
    Hi Everyone,

    I'm so glad that I've found this website because I really need to get serious and DO SOMETHING about my debts. I thought that keeping a diary on this forum would keep me accountable.

    I have taken stock and I have over £35,000 of personal debt on loans and credit cards, which does not include my Student Loan (around £18,000 but I need to check the last statement). I have no savings at all and am living pay day to pay day. I have a pension, which is probably the only semi-financially responsible thing I've done in my whole life.

    I have always had a problem with spending money. I never knew when it was time to stop spending. The idea of a budget was a foreign concept. I'd spend until everything had gone, whether that was my wages, student loan payments or birthday money. I go through phases of pretending to be responsible and looking at debt consolidation, but what usually happens is that I don't close the old accounts so a few months down the line I end up spending money on the cleared card.

    I know that I need to sort out my spending and to take a brutal look at the state of my finances and what I spend money on. I need to stop seeing credit limits as targets to reach (!!!!) and start seeing them for what they are - invitations to get into debt!

    This is what I have outstanding:

    £13000 on personal loan
    £10500 Barclaycard
    £8000 MBNA
    £2500 HSBC
    £870 on catalog
    £800 left on furniture (this one is interest free, there are 9 repayments left)

    I've been reading the advice for newbies threads so this weekend I am going to go through my last bank & cc statements with a fine tooth comb to work out what I am spending money on, and I'm going to find out the interest rates on all my credit accounts.

    Thanks for reading and wish me luck!


    PS. My forum name is from a Duchess in the 1700s. She was so bad with money that after she died her husband found out she was around 4 million pounds in debt. Sadly I could imagine this happening to me if I had access to that much credit
    Last edited by GeorgianaCavendish; 07-03-2017 at 3:31 PM.
Page 27
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 17th Jul 17, 10:05 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Love the Netflix-coup! Would your OH consider swapping the Sky package for the Amazon one, instead of adding things in? I don't really know how much each of those costs so it might be a stupid suggestion.
    Originally posted by armchairexpert
    It's a good suggestion but I don't think he'll go for it - there are a lot of things we watch on Amazon including The Grand Tour (with the old Top Gear guys) that I don't think he would want to give up. Amazon is £79 a year whereas Sky is £50 a month for the package he wants (including Formula 1).
    I did make my opinions known this weekend so we'll see! OH currently in frame of mind that switching to the free gym would be a big sacrifice on his part and he "deserves" the Sky package. Formula 1 are on summer break after the next race, so I might suggest that he leaves it at least a month to see how nice it is to have the extra money from the gym membership instead of immediately committing it to something else
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 17th Jul 17, 10:26 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Warning : Whinge
    I've been stewing on a few things over the weekend so I thought I'd have a good old whinge about it and then hopefully get over them (a bit anyway ). Feel free to skip this post

    I try to stay positive on this diary but there are times when I am so thoroughly sick of money saving and debt busting. I know that I've managed to make a good dent in the debt but I look at my spreadsheet sometimes and feel completely sick at the amount of money that I still owe.

    I've realised how much this debt is stopping me from living the life I want : I don't own my home, I don't have children (to be completely honest, we've decided that we cannot even think about a baby in our current financial situation), I have to think about every single purchase and it takes me five times as long to do something as simple as buying a pair of jeans because I'm checking cashback sites, shifting money from rewards and comparing prices for the best possible deal. It doesn't come naturally to me but I'm constantly fighting against the habits that the "old" GC developed because my debt-free date is also the "start of my new life" date. Looking at my debt spreadsheet and seeing a date three years away as the earliest possible time to start thinking about a baby is so depressing, and worse than that is the horrible gut twisting feeling of guilt that I have brought this situation on myself

    Since my light bulb moment, I've realised how many of my financial habits were deeply unhealthy and a way of masking/"coping" with deeper problems, so I'm trying to address these as well as pay down the debt. Otherwise I have no doubt that I'll be in even worse again a few years down the line, and I'll never be in the position to have that life.
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Jul 17, 10:55 AM
    • 2,974 Posts
    • 13,223 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I completely feel for you with the whole of that post GC, debt busting is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done. In my case my only motivation was a baby - if I'm honest I wouldn't have had my LBM if I hadn't had a timeline on the baby issue, I had completely buried my head in the sand!

    The things that you are doing now that aren't quite second nature yet (cashback sites, reward monies etc) will become second nature - I promise. It just takes time! You'll soon find yourself lecturing friends and family about the 'free money' they could get from cashback sites

    Also, remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint and it will not always be plain sailing. I think there is an element of self sabotage at some point for most people who are debt busting because sometimes it is just rubbish, it's not going as quickly as you would like it to, you still feel you deserve a treat (and guess what - you do! Just perhaps not to the 'treat' extent of before)

    I'm really pleased you are addressing the coping mechanism aspect of previous spending as it's so easy to get sucked back in to it.

    You are doing so well, and you are allowed rubbish days! As you move more debt onto 0% CCs the light at the end of the tunnel will become ever clearer. The snowball calculator is your friend - every extra payment that you make from a PA payout or an ebay sale will have an impact on that at some point.

    I hope this post doesn't sound patronising, it's just that some of your comments really resonated with me and having been there, sometimes a bit of cheerleading and someone who understands can really help!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 17th Jul 17, 1:59 PM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Thank you Kirsty, I really appreciate your post and it is not patronising at all! It is really good to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation and to take a moment to remember that there IS light at the end of the tunnel even though sometimes it feels like I'm standing in the dark

    I am feeling a bit down at the moment as my Facebook feed is a flurry of baby pictures and six of my good friends are either pregnant or have recently had children. That plus the inevitable "ooh so when is it your turn" comments from various family members have me a bit
    I suppose on the plus side, our debt repayments are about the same my friends are spending on nursery/childcare so I could look at this as financial practice
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 17th Jul 17, 2:08 PM
    • 4,782 Posts
    • 20,879 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you Kirsty, I really appreciate your post and it is not patronising at all! It is really good to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation and to take a moment to remember that there IS light at the end of the tunnel even though sometimes it feels like I'm standing in the dark

    I am feeling a bit down at the moment as my Facebook feed is a flurry of baby pictures and six of my good friends are either pregnant or have recently had children. That plus the inevitable "ooh so when is it your turn" comments from various family members have me a bit
    I suppose on the plus side, our debt repayments are about the same my friends are spending on nursery/childcare so I could look at this as financial practice
    Originally posted by GeorgianaCavendish
    After my sh!tstorm in March I deleted ALL social media, Deactivated everything. The difference in my mood is amazing! Yes I still have 'fed up' days etc that's a part of me, however its so much easier than see everyone else's perfect little lives. Honestly I will never go back on SM again. I guess here is sort of SM but when you don't have friends/family rubbing in how ideal their world is and how they have no worries/perfect their kids are etc etc its so much easier.

    There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there, we all have our own journey and no 2 are the same, enjoy it even if it is at a slower pace than you had in mind at the start. You've done and do amazing just remember that ((Hugs)) x
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Peabody
    • By Peabody 17th Jul 17, 2:11 PM
    • 272 Posts
    • 355 Thanks
    Peabody
    Don't feel down, about the baby thing. I was feeling like that when friends had theirs last year (he's just over 1 now) then you listen to them complain about the sleepless nights and the cost of formula etc.

    I think you're being very sensible and waiting until you've cleared the debt. It'll be your turn eventually in the meantime enjoy playing Auntie to all you friends kids.

    When you feel fed up about the debt, just remember how far you've come (I need to remember this myself) I think you're doing amazingly!
    Total at 9th Feb 12 - £17,500 Now - £13,431.87
    Loan - £6992.20, Card 1 - £3224.60, Card 2 - £2225.07, Sofa - £990.00
    Card overpayment pot - £0.00
    • Peabody
    • By Peabody 17th Jul 17, 2:14 PM
    • 272 Posts
    • 355 Thanks
    Peabody
    After my sh!tstorm in March I deleted ALL social media, Deactivated everything. The difference in my mood is amazing! Yes I still have 'fed up' days etc that's a part of me, however its so much easier than see everyone else's perfect little lives. Honestly I will never go back on SM again. I guess here is sort of SM but when you don't have friends/family rubbing in how ideal their world is and how they have no worries/perfect their kids are etc etc its so much easier.

    There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there, we all have our own journey and no 2 are the same, enjoy it even if it is at a slower pace than you had in mind at the start. You've done and do amazing just remember that ((Hugs)) x
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    I've come to the conclusion that most of these lives probably aren't perfect. Well that's what I'm hoping anyway

    I say that as I have a close friend who on the surface has that perfect FB life, with the beautiful kids etc. and I know she has over £150k of debt and is really struggling but dealing with it now.

    I agree there is light at the end of the tunnel and I think our journeys make us stronger people, and while I wish I'd never got into debt it has helped me be the person I am now and I like her a bit
    Total at 9th Feb 12 - £17,500 Now - £13,431.87
    Loan - £6992.20, Card 1 - £3224.60, Card 2 - £2225.07, Sofa - £990.00
    Card overpayment pot - £0.00
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Jul 17, 3:00 PM
    • 2,974 Posts
    • 13,223 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I am feeling a bit down at the moment as my Facebook feed is a flurry of baby pictures and six of my good friends are either pregnant or have recently had children. That plus the inevitable "ooh so when is it your turn" comments from various family members have me a bit
    I suppose on the plus side, our debt repayments are about the same my friends are spending on nursery/childcare so I could look at this as financial practice
    Originally posted by GeorgianaCavendish
    Understand this completely! About halfway through my DF journey my sister and one of my best friends announced they were pregnant within a week or so and there have been loads since and each one I'm so happy for but god it hurts to see. I always feel so selfish but I think it's quite a normal reaction.
    I think nobody should be allowed to ask when it's your turn etc as it really is horrible, especially when you have reasons that you don't want to disclose or if it's not happening!

    You are so right about nursery payments though - a local nursery to us charges about £70 a month less than I was paying back at the height of my repayments so if I could still survive before, it's been good practice
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 17th Jul 17, 3:22 PM
    • 1,196 Posts
    • 3,735 Thanks
    JoJoC
    Hey GC - just wanted to stop by with some support and a pat on the back. I, too, understand your frustrations with getting through the drudgery of debt busting, especially when it's not a short term solution. This is just one of the lows of your rollercoaster, there will be highs again and it's not forever. Don't let it bring you down.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so low about the children thing - can i tell you about my perspective? I, of course, wouldn't have it any other way, but i'm 29, got married at 22 and had my first child at 24 with no savings at all behind us. Childcare x1 was rubbishly high but we managed and our plan was to do our flat up, overpay to get out of negative equity then buy a new house before thinking about having a second.

    Nature took its own course though and when my son was 1 year 10 months, I was pregnant again so we made the decision to keep our flat on and buy a house anyway...with virtually no leftover savings and an increasing pot of debt. So with two kids under 2.5 I had to go back to work when DS2 was 6 months old and that's when the £1.4k monthly childcare payments started.

    What I'm getting at is that although I'd never change the way things happened because things are beginning to come good now with a lot of hard work, but if I'd have chosen my path, I'd have waited to have kids until we were much more financially stable.

    I think you're doing the right thing making a dent in everything now and working towards becoming debt-free. There's nothing wrong with doing it the other way but it could be so much harder in the long run.

    I'm sorry you're feeling stuck and unable to move forward. I don't feel like that on the child front of course, but I do feel like that in many other ways.

    I feel like this has come out all in a jumble, but I hope you understand my sentiment.
    CC1: 3,774.32/4,200 | CC2: 5,077/5,393 | Loan: 7,430/15,000
    Total: 16,292.57/20,032 Paid since Feb17: 3,739 or 18.66%

    Mummy of two boys - Working hard to make better financial choices!
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • Silver Queen
    • By Silver Queen 17th Jul 17, 3:39 PM
    • 142 Posts
    • 715 Thanks
    Silver Queen
    GC, just wanted to say you're doing really well. Sorry about the kids thing my OH and I probably won't be able to afford kids for another 8-10 years and he's 30 so I would like to think that I kind of understand.
    Debt Totals 01/07/17:
    £350 Natwest Credit Card / Now £0 £15,500 Loan from Parents / Currently £12,500 £2,000 Overdraft Now £1,000
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 17th Jul 17, 4:41 PM
    • 10,473 Posts
    • 69,440 Thanks
    Bobarella
    I've been stewing on a few things over the weekend so I thought I'd have a good old whinge about it and then hopefully get over them (a bit anyway ). Feel free to skip this post

    I try to stay positive on this diary but there are times when I am so thoroughly sick of money saving and debt busting. I know that I've managed to make a good dent in the debt but I look at my spreadsheet sometimes and feel completely sick at the amount of money that I still owe.

    I've realised how much this debt is stopping me from living the life I want : I don't own my home, I don't have children (to be completely honest, we've decided that we cannot even think about a baby in our current financial situation), I have to think about every single purchase and it takes me five times as long to do something as simple as buying a pair of jeans because I'm checking cashback sites, shifting money from rewards and comparing prices for the best possible deal. It doesn't come naturally to me but I'm constantly fighting against the habits that the "old" GC developed because my debt-free date is also the "start of my new life" date. Looking at my debt spreadsheet and seeing a date three years away as the earliest possible time to start thinking about a baby is so depressing, and worse than that is the horrible gut twisting feeling of guilt that I have brought this situation on myself

    Since my light bulb moment, I've realised how many of my financial habits were deeply unhealthy and a way of masking/"coping" with deeper problems, so I'm trying to address these as well as pay down the debt. Otherwise I have no doubt that I'll be in even worse again a few years down the line, and I'll never be in the position to have that life.
    Originally posted by GeorgianaCavendish
    That is not a winge! Thats got to be the standard thing that all of us in debtors have thought many times. If only I hadnt done it in the first place! You are just 100% normal. Sometimes its easier than others to use that feeling to channel all your efforts into debt slaying, and other times you just want to cry and have a good 'why me' at no one in particular.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 17th Jul 17, 5:58 PM
    • 490 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    GC how about I add another angle, I am old enough to be your mum . I had a very good life moneywise in my 20s and 30s , husband well paid only worked part time , never had to worry about what I was buying etc. Fast forward 20 years , in debt not loads but enough to now not be able to retire at 55 as I had always planned .

    My moral is , if you learn how to budget now in your younger years , then when you do go on maternity leave , work parttime it will be second nature to you.

    As has been said every journey is different and everyone has different ways of dealing with it. I think if the amount is going down and you are learning from the experience then it will set you up for life when you are debt free.

    Take it from an oldie who should know better lol .
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:03 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Ohhh you guys! I'm so overwhelmed with all your support Thank you, have a dodgy-looking group hug!
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:04 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    After my sh!tstorm in March I deleted ALL social media, Deactivated everything. The difference in my mood is amazing! Yes I still have 'fed up' days etc that's a part of me, however its so much easier than see everyone else's perfect little lives. Honestly I will never go back on SM again. I guess here is sort of SM but when you don't have friends/family rubbing in how ideal their world is and how they have no worries/perfect their kids are etc etc its so much easier.

    There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there, we all have our own journey and no 2 are the same, enjoy it even if it is at a slower pace than you had in mind at the start. You've done and do amazing just remember that ((Hugs)) x
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Oh wow, thank you everyone! I am feeling so overwhelmed with your support Have a dodgy-looking group hug!

    Hidden, you make such good points about social media. I deleted Instagram earlier this year because it was making me feel terrible. If I didn't know better, I would think that I'm only friends with supermodels / super-rich, super-stylish magazine editors because opening Instagram is like opening a copy of Vogue. I'm on Facebook mainly to keep in touch with friends & family members who live far away, but I think you are right, it would do me good to have a break from it at the moment.

    Thank you for your lovely lovely post
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:09 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Don't feel down, about the baby thing. I was feeling like that when friends had theirs last year (he's just over 1 now) then you listen to them complain about the sleepless nights and the cost of formula etc.

    I think you're being very sensible and waiting until you've cleared the debt. It'll be your turn eventually in the meantime enjoy playing Auntie to all you friends kids.

    When you feel fed up about the debt, just remember how far you've come (I need to remember this myself) I think you're doing amazingly!
    Originally posted by Peabody
    I've come to the conclusion that most of these lives probably aren't perfect. Well that's what I'm hoping anyway

    I say that as I have a close friend who on the surface has that perfect FB life, with the beautiful kids etc. and I know she has over £150k of debt and is really struggling but dealing with it now.

    I agree there is light at the end of the tunnel and I think our journeys make us stronger people, and while I wish I'd never got into debt it has helped me be the person I am now and I like her a bit
    Originally posted by Peabody
    Thank you Peabody!
    I totally understand what you mean about liking the old-you, I went through my phase of being blisteringly angry at my old self but the longer I plug away at this, the more I just feel sorry for her. I was struggling with lots of things and found some relief from spending money, even though I would rather not have ended up in a situation where all I had was £37K of personal debt and not much else to show for it, I feel like I'm tackling it from a much better place and that I'm actually dealing with things (financial and otherwise) instead of burying my head in the sand.
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:12 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Understand this completely! About halfway through my DF journey my sister and one of my best friends announced they were pregnant within a week or so and there have been loads since and each one I'm so happy for but god it hurts to see. I always feel so selfish but I think it's quite a normal reaction.
    I think nobody should be allowed to ask when it's your turn etc as it really is horrible, especially when you have reasons that you don't want to disclose or if it's not happening!

    You are so right about nursery payments though - a local nursery to us charges about £70 a month less than I was paying back at the height of my repayments so if I could still survive before, it's been good practice
    Originally posted by kirtsypoos
    Kirsty, you've hit the nail on the head. It isn't that I'm resentful of their news but it is still painful to see the pictures. I think a break from social media would be good, and arranging to meet up with them in person so I can get a fix of newborn cuddles
    Usually I can block out the stupid questions but occasionally they get through and really hurt - I guess because they touch on something that is a really vulnerable spot. The worst was from my husband's aunt who said something like "your MIL & FIL won't want to wait forever to be grandparents!" ... it made me so angry.
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:16 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Hey GC - just wanted to stop by with some support and a pat on the back. I, too, understand your frustrations with getting through the drudgery of debt busting, especially when it's not a short term solution. This is just one of the lows of your rollercoaster, there will be highs again and it's not forever. Don't let it bring you down.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so low about the children thing - can i tell you about my perspective? I, of course, wouldn't have it any other way, but i'm 29, got married at 22 and had my first child at 24 with no savings at all behind us. Childcare x1 was rubbishly high but we managed and our plan was to do our flat up, overpay to get out of negative equity then buy a new house before thinking about having a second.

    Nature took its own course though and when my son was 1 year 10 months, I was pregnant again so we made the decision to keep our flat on and buy a house anyway...with virtually no leftover savings and an increasing pot of debt. So with two kids under 2.5 I had to go back to work when DS2 was 6 months old and that's when the £1.4k monthly childcare payments started.

    What I'm getting at is that although I'd never change the way things happened because things are beginning to come good now with a lot of hard work, but if I'd have chosen my path, I'd have waited to have kids until we were much more financially stable.

    I think you're doing the right thing making a dent in everything now and working towards becoming debt-free. There's nothing wrong with doing it the other way but it could be so much harder in the long run.

    I'm sorry you're feeling stuck and unable to move forward. I don't feel like that on the child front of course, but I do feel like that in many other ways.

    I feel like this has come out all in a jumble, but I hope you understand my sentiment.
    Originally posted by JoJoC
    Thank you JoJo, I do understand where you are coming from and I really appreciate your post
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:19 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    GC, just wanted to say you're doing really well. Sorry about the kids thing my OH and I probably won't be able to afford kids for another 8-10 years and he's 30 so I would like to think that I kind of understand.
    Originally posted by Silver Queen
    Thank you Silver Queen It does get me down but on the plus side, a lot of my relatives on my mum's side had their first children when they were in their 40s so I find that quite encouraging
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:21 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    That is not a winge! Thats got to be the standard thing that all of us in debtors have thought many times. If only I hadnt done it in the first place! You are just 100% normal. Sometimes its easier than others to use that feeling to channel all your efforts into debt slaying, and other times you just want to cry and have a good 'why me' at no one in particular.
    Originally posted by Bobarella
    Thanks Bob! It has done me the world of good to get everything off my chest. It seems so much scarier when I keep it bottled up and try to act like it doesn't bother me. I'm glad I'm not the only one
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 18th Jul 17, 10:26 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 2,305 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    GC how about I add another angle, I am old enough to be your mum . I had a very good life moneywise in my 20s and 30s , husband well paid only worked part time , never had to worry about what I was buying etc. Fast forward 20 years , in debt not loads but enough to now not be able to retire at 55 as I had always planned .

    My moral is , if you learn how to budget now in your younger years , then when you do go on maternity leave , work parttime it will be second nature to you.

    As has been said every journey is different and everyone has different ways of dealing with it. I think if the amount is going down and you are learning from the experience then it will set you up for life when you are debt free.

    Take it from an oldie who should know better lol .
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thank you Cumbria Lass, I really appreciate your post I am quite hard on myself sometimes, I think - when I get into a cycle of feeling angry and depressed about the debt I end up thinking horrible things about myself and my stupidity for getting to this place. BUT as you say, I'm also really trying to learn how to deal with my finances. I've already done some things this year that I had never done before (like actually knowing what interest rate I'm paying on my debts! but also, having a budget! looking back over my statements instead of feeling slightly sick and putting them straight in the shredder! putting off purchases for a couple of months instead of slapping it on my credit card ... I probably don't have space to write everything I've learned ).
    It would have been great to know all this when I was 18, but I know it now
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's July 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £11,362.14 / MBNA £3318.34 / Barclaycard £6360.70 / Lloyds £3560 / Tesco £972.50/ Dreams £259

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
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