What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

I'd recommend keeping a personal document listing exactly what the person needs to do - your brain's a fuzz of shock when it happens, and having all the steps clearly available (keep it updated) would help. When my father died, we just didn't know what to do, whom to contact, which official bodies needed to be informed. One thing which I made a priority was to contact utilities etc to get the bils transferred into my mother's name only; I knew it would upset her to get bills in the weeks and months to come with my father's name on them.

Hi ,
Stormbay ,Firstly,I want to say Huge hugs .
Secondly ,I lost my husband suddenly in June 2005 and I have 3 daughters (my eldest is 10).I know exactly where you are at .
There is a group called the WAY Foundation that is for widowed people who were widowed under the age of 50 .I have found them alot of help .They organise meet ups and ,general help .(just type WAY Foundation in the Search Engine)

For the children ,Winstons Wish is a good start -my girls are going on Camp Winston to deal with their grief .

With regards to the finances ,my BIL helped me with the nitty gritty ,can you find a trusted family member or friend to help out .

PM if you need to -I am 18 months down the pot-holed road and am beginning to see where the next pot-hole is .

Martin- can sub-board be started on Bereavement ?

Sorry for the seperate posts but ,I feel it emphasises each point .

When dealing with Sudden death in unexplained circumstances be prepared for the Post-mortem and Inquest .You won't get the formal Death certificate until after the Inquest .
You will be given an Interim Certificate to wave at people in between whiles .

BE WARNED -some accept it ,others don't .Luckily the Benefits Agency recognises it but ,some Insurance companies don't .

It costs to get the Death Certificate -get extra copies as ,you may need more than one .

Never send all the death certificates off at the same time -always make sure you have at least one at home at all times .

Be back later with more .

Very important topic. My mother died and she did all the accounts etc etc. My father did not have a clue where to start. Luckily my brother really helped and it was fine. We were also lucky because my mum kept everything in order. I'd advise anyone to prepare for death because you really need to know what to do. There is so much planning and sorting out to do that you don't want to be stuck fighting for money etc.

We had big problems with our internet provider 'orange' who said because the account (which was registered in my mums name) did not have third party access that it had to be closed and re connected again. this meant no internet connection for 5 weeks which was ridiculous.

Also still having problems sorting her civil service pension out, so if any body has any help it would be much appreciated. My mum worked there for about 8-10 years (1970s) and paid a pension, however, they are saying that because she left before the widows pension came in to force and she did not transfer her pension to her nhs pension, that my dad is not entitled to the money.