Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady · 31 May 2016 at 2:36PM

Day 1. 31.5.16
I hope I am posting in the right place. I need to keep a spending diary where its not just me that sees it. I have around £14,500 in debt. This is split over 5 different lenders.

£2450 Bankloan
£3225 0% credit card
£3620 0% credit card
£2500 overdraft
£2800 credit card 18%

I have a lot of outgoings, live on my own (mortgage) recently had some expensive home improvements which I think were essential.

I am slowly paying things off but one of my biggest battles is with my best friends who seem to be constantly putting pressure on me to do expensive things and get upset when i cant - making my battle twice as hard. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me.

My other main worry is that if my parents ever found out they would be heartbroken, I am 30 and shouldn't have let this happen. Im keeping my diary and working hard to fix. Day 1.

[Deleted User] · 31 May 2016 at 2:48PM

Hi & welcome.

I have a friend who when we suggested going away for a cheap weekend suggested 5 days in Las Vegas - yeah okay then!

Haha - clearly deluded.

My best friend however is now trying to pay off her debt too which is helpful cos we both now want to do things on the 'cheap'

Just chip away at the debt as best you can & eventually it will be gone.

Dxxx

Poor_Single_lady · 31 May 2016 at 3:40PM

Dolly your page is quite inspirational. Im hoping I can be as successful as you. This month im going to be home. A lot! Will be following your diary especially when it gets tough which im expecting it to be.

[Deleted User] · 31 May 2016 at 4:51PM

It will be tough but will be so worth it in the end!

We can do this.

Dxxx

Poor_Single_lady · 31 May 2016 at 9:21PM

Spending today
£11 wilko laundry and sink unblocked (glamourous)
£7.30 tesco milk, fruit
£1 charity shop book for friend
£35 leg wax (have thought about cancelling this but it gives me confidence and I am single. Would be sad without it.

I consider leg wax an essential (goes on bills list) so today not so bad. £19.30

Ate too much for dinner, had pizza from sainsbury but at least it wasn't dominos.

Paid mortgage 500, loan 150, charity donation 25 totalling £675.

Also spent friday eve in pub, much needed social night, £30 not left bank account yet.

Tomorrow £125 management fee, £25 elec and £12 tv licence.

Still to come water bill is 6 monthly due around now, contents insurance due around now but nothing in post yet, dentist, 2x credit card payments totalling £110, love film at £8 which I love so I need that. Council tax £95, £25 owed to friend, eyebrows threading, specsavers, lunch dates at work and family commitments.

Freezer is full, spent the day cooking. But then have massive anxiety about a power cut and all the food defrosting so baring that this is good.
Hair highlighted fine till end october.

Fingers crossed nothing breaks or unexpected expenses.

I sometimes worry my debt burden is subconsciously making me repel men as I can't really imagine sharing this problem with someone I just met. A lot of my friends (who live with parents or shared houses) would rule out dating someone without savings, let alone actual debt (never mind debt over £10K) sometimes feel like maybe I am a bit toxic. I think life is easier single, dating is very expensive and I don't think I can afford it at the moment which is a bit sad. I think in 12 months im hoping things will be different and maybe it will happen. Will wait and see.

[Deleted User] · 1 June 2016 at 8:44AM

You have a lot on so no wonder you are thinking like that.

Gradually you will feel differently I would imagine.

You are doing great already, well done.

Dxxx

Poor_Single_lady · 1 June 2016 at 6:48PM

No spending today. Good way to start month. But it was a bit of a battle. Seem to spend money for so many different reasons, boredom being just one.

Fed and watered. Home for the day. Long way to go. I think this could be a long month. Got a few books to read and love film films coming. Food plan done. Flat half cleaned, bedroom needs attention.

I should note outgoings, think it might help.

Income £2100
Mortgage £495
Train commute - london £390
Management fee £133
Council tax £95
Credit card min payments £110
Third credit card payment (over min) £120
Loan 16 payments left £153
Electricity £25
Charity donation £25
Tv license £12
Lovefilm £8
Phone £20
Beauty subscription £16
Eyebrows and leg wax £40

Hair every 3 months £100
Dentist every 3 months £65

I think there are more but cant think of them water is every 6 months, about £70 a time. Contents insurance £55 annually.

I owe my parents an additional £5000 but this is very flexible.

I should be able to make some progress this month, although I have upset my best friend by asking her not to invite me out to dinner. I don't think its a big ask but she doesn't seem to get it and I did shout which is unlike me but now the mesage seems to have FINALLY got through I don't want to do anything which might undo that.

When you live on your own people always try and put pressure on you to do stuff and spend money- like they think everyone who lives on their own is desperately lonely. Its so annoying because actually being too social can be a major financial problem and a bit of space can do amazing things for your bank balance. Will see how it goes. Having friends in london is a problem because everybody rents with people they don't like because its so expensive and nobody wants to go home to their houses so they don't understand if you love your home and love being at home. Its completely alien concept. I feel like this process will mean that some friends will be a casualty but it seems that's just how it needs to be. I cant afford £30 on dinners and drinks right now. For once I am digging my heels in.

This is a bit moany- sorry for the readers! I think keeping a debt diary is so helpful. If I overspend this month I am going to be so cross with myself. Have to get a grip. This is day 2 and although it sounds silly I am so pleased with myself for not spending any money. Day 3 tommorow. Will see what it brings.

[Deleted User] · 1 June 2016 at 10:30PM

We can only do this one day at a time, I am the same.

I have literally no cash to spend on anything exciting this month, it is rubbish.

I have some cash coming in from ebay sales but don't like to touch that until people have received the items & left positive feedback so that I know they aren't going to ask for the money back. That is just over 30 I think.

Hoping they do I could really do with that extra cash.

Dxxx

smallholdingsister · 2 June 2016 at 7:11AM

Hello! Wishing you luck.

I guess if you got your friends round to share your home you would socialise for less?

Poor_Single_lady · 2 June 2016 at 7:57AM

Good Morning Dolly, SHS, and any others that may be reading. Thank you so much for dropping in and making this "real" and me more accountable. It does mean a lot and its so helpful. I think I've got a real battle on my hands so to have people taking the time to support me is phenomenal and i cant explain how much this helps me so thank you!

Agreed it has to be one step at a time. (boring football alert - sorry but) It makes me think of the film fever pitch where colin firth loves arsenal and they need to score 2 goals to win the title. It doesnt go well at first but then they score and you expect him to celebrate but he finds it harder and he says something along lines of "typical arsenal always score and get your hopes up" and then his friend says something like "what do you want them to do, they cant score the second goal first"

I don't know if that sounds like nonsense but that's how I see it.

I do have people over but they seem to never want to leave and my flat needs a lot of work which people are always happy to point out to me like its new news! I sound really inhospitable and mean but i don't really like being in charge if we go out I can leave when I want to. Also my london friends are in london and im an hour outside so they always want to go out after work but its getting better and I think I am getting stronger.

Today wont be an NSD but im seeing my brother and that's important so happy with that. We may have a drink at the pub but that's ok because I think spending time with your family reminds you that you are loved and worth loving which is worth remembering. We all are. He knows I have some credit card debt although he would be upset if he knew the full extent and is always sympathetic to money restraints.

I wrote down last night that I would like to get to below £14,000 by the end of august but before payday so on 25/08/16 when everything is added together it should be under £14K. Its around 12 weeks but its just 2 paydays so will take a lot of work.
This month is quite expensive so I need a longer target rather than just end of June. It should be do-able but if it isn't st least I will be making progress which will be a brand new experience. This is day 5. There are 25 more till payday. One day at a time.

smallholdingsister · 2 June 2016 at 2:38PM

Its a compliment they don't want to leave, but I would respond to comments about work that needs done with a big
"Wow." Which I would leave hanging!!

Xxx

Joined 31.05.16

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