New Mums - stay at home or back to work?

Hi there,

As everyone's pretty much said - this is a personal decision and even the research is out on weather or not kids do better full-time at home with Mum.

My personal experiences are that I have a 14 yr old son and I went back to work part time when he was 6 weeks old, simply because I had no choice.

I am now pregnant again (eeek!) and we're in a much better situation financially. This means that I'm planning on taking a full year off after this one and then trying for another baby shortly after, so I'll be home for around 2 years, possibly with a short return to work in the middle. After that, I'll decide if/when I might go back. I have to say, work keeps me sane, so I might be heading back for at least 2 days a week!

Good luck with your decision.

Debbie

I returned to work full time when my DS was 11 weeks old for financial reasons.

He was looked after by a child minder.

I have a 1 yr old, and we're trying for our second so won't be going back to work for some time. I decided long before I had kids I would take extended leave from work, and return when our last child (no. 3!) goes to nursery. So I have a few years yet.

We're lucky in that we can afford for me to stay home but I do find that it can be quite full on in that you don't get a break. My sister works a few hrs a day and finds the break away from baby does her good. But not everyone will feel like this and you have to see how it goes to some extent

Hi,


My children are now 10 and 6. I am the higher earner of the two of us so we decided that I would return part time to keep things ticking over etc. I didn't want to have to retrain and start at the bottom of the payscale.
My first child went to day nursery from 10 months until 3 (when he started the nursery at the primary school where he still is now). He became a very confident child and is doing very well at school. I worked 2.5 days a week then (used to be full time up until maternity). My second child arrived when my son was about to start reception class so it was good timing (childcare fees). We decided to get a local childminder to help as we have no available family to assist at all (grandparents down to 50% and old now). I increased hours up to 3 days once I returned to work when my daughter was 11 months. Both children are in FT school now but we still use the same childminder (who is very flexible and doesn't charge us if DH is off work etc) for after school and school hols. DH works shifts so we often only need a few hours childcare on the days I am working in the school hols.
I don't regret staying in my career. Looking back, I am glad I did. I am now in a position to work full time but I have decided to change my hours soon (to 2 long days) and do a post-16 PGCE part time. I want to teach my vocational subject (health related). It will allow me to have more time off in the school hols...hopefully.
It depends what your wife does. If it isn't worth her working then I would stay at home.

I have just gone back to work after 11 months maternity leave with my second child, she will be 11 months in a couple of weeks. I also have 3.5 year old son.


When my son was born I was due back to my then job full time (more or less). They offered me some minimal flexible working, but when we looked at the distance I was commuting (S.London to Windsor) each day, and how much full time childcare was going to cost, and the stress of my old job (lots of European travel), it just didn't stack up, so I bit the bullet and resigned.


I then managed to find a part time role (3 days a week) at a similar company, so jumped at it.


With one child in childcare 3 days a week was tight, but my salary meant we could get a newer car and afford a few treats. This time however our childcare bill is now nigh on £1100 a month for 3 days a week Which is horrific.


I have just today had a conversation with OH about how much money I am actually bringing in after childcare has been taken into account, and it's something like £200 a month! Not a huge amount for the commute I have to do (now S.London to Guildford).


We have no family support..people who do are SO SO SO lucky. It's tough when you have no inlaws nearby to help out. My parents are old and in poor health, and OH's parents, whilst elderly too (early 70's), are in good health, but live over 3 hours away. They help when they can, but it's sporadic, and actually I don't think grandparents should have to feel they owe help. Different if they want to, but I get the impression from people I've known that there is a lot of expectation on grandparents to automatically help out.


I also know myself and I really don't think I could cope with being a full time SAHM. I like working and so I feel I have a good balance of working and spending the remaining 2 days of the week with them at home.


So for me it's not just about the financial monetary gain, it's also about keeping my mental health in tact! **




** I do totally love my kids..they are wonderful, but I also like using my brain and having some non-mummy related company during the day too!