Taking control

takingcontrolatlast · 27 June 2016 at 7:08PM

I survived the day but only just!

I really didnt want to get up this morning and stayed in bed an extra hour which meant I jumped up the last minute and typically i ran out of foundation and blusher (I knew I needed new ones but was scraping the barrel so to speak) and couldnt pinch any off DD1 and DD2 without waking them :mad:

Then I went to a meeting and it just went down hill - i havent a clue what notes i have written down as I just zoned out :rotfl:

the rest of the day went by and i counted the hours which went sooo slowly. I perked up at 5pm

Didnt have to cook as everyone out so i had a sandwich for tea and crisps

Im trying to stay awake as I need to pick DD1 up from work later .. time tbc so going to watch football later.

It's payday tomorrow and results day for DD1 - please let it be successful news x

Going to look at the budget again.... there may be a miracle that I havent seen appear in it!!

crazy_cat_lady · 27 June 2016 at 10:45PM

You sound really stressed TCAL and you're not being kind to yourself. I order small steps and celebrating small achievements.

takingcontrolatlast · 28 June 2016 at 12:00AM

Hi CCL,

Do you know.. you are the first person who has said that me and I thank you as you have stopped me in my tracks so to speak.

I always have/had dramas going on in my life so much so that they have become a way of life and I just muddle down and get through them. It feels weird someone else recognising that I have stress as I try to cover it up... maybe my last few posts at daft o'clock gave it away :rotfl:

I promise to try and celebrate small achievements

takingcontrolatlast · 28 June 2016 at 5:28PM

DD1 achieved a First in her Masters of Chemistry degree :j:j:j:j:j:j

We are so proud of her.... it's been blood, sweat and tears... and that's from me!!!! :rotfl:

I never went to work today.. phoned in sick... my head was soooo bad I just couldnt face it. I dont know if it was a migraine or what as Ive never had them but it could be a combination of everything getting on top of me.

I have paid my bills and debts and also paid off £50 to the family member who is struggling - balance £400. I put £25 to my EF (not sure how long it will stay there as that's my problem knowing I can dip in !!! )

Ive paid for the hire of cap and gown for the graduation, the photographer and extra tickets thanks to the overtime. Now the big one..... the family meal with boyfriends in attendance, shoes for me and a financial gift for all her hard work.... not that she wants it but I want to give it towards a car for when she starts work.... it's a surprise....Oh and the cake!

There is just no way I am going through life and not celebrating major achievements in my family - I'm not borrowing, I'm working to pay for it... however, the budget is saying "no chance"!!

I have got to try and achieve this.... advice greatly received!

* Shoes... I have the dress (courtesy of DD2) and I need a black bag and black shoes to match for the ceremony. I'm realistic enough to know these can be as cheap or as dear as I want them to be... I'm aiming for cheap but classy :rotfl: I'm hoping for around £20 for dressy pair of sandles which I have already put the money aside for and which I can also use for work - I will have to borrow a black bag.

* Meal ... 6 of us - booked restaurant (we never eat out so its a real treat) they do a graduation early 3 course meal for £20 per head and then there are drinks..... I havent a clue what to budget for £250??? So far money put aside is £100 and I just dont know how to raise the rest atm.... dreading it as DH thinks I already have it :eek:

So this is my next challenge.... Raise £150 in 3 weeks :eek:

Not forgetting to raise money for cake and present - thinking of having a whole family celebration end of July but I may have to put this back to August ... not sure ... DH not keen in having it... we'll see

crazy_cat_lady · 28 June 2016 at 9:21PM

Oh TCAL - I'm so pleased for your daughter (I am a chemistry teacher so always doubly happy to hear of people studying chemistry after school). Huge congratulations to her - you sound so incredibly proud.
I'm pleased you took the day off as well. A bit of a break will do you no harm at all.

takingcontrolatlast · 28 June 2016 at 10:42PM

I am proud CCL - she worked incredibly hard - she has to find a job now. She definately knows its not teaching though (secretly I wished she would) - she must have had a bad experience in high school :rotfl:

thank you for your kind words

takingcontrolatlast · 30 June 2016 at 6:30PM

I'm having a reality check - i've cancelled the cake and decided to make one :eek:

DD2 has sadly broken up with the boyfriend so that is one less to pay for on the graduation meal. So its roughly £20 p/h for 5 plus drinks.

The £100 I had put away for this has now been swallowed up by food shopping and paying back tax credits that i was overpaid years ago :mad: See I cant budget!!

I discussed it with DH and he said he would pay for meal sadly on his cc and I can pay it back the month later. This is not ideal so i will keep trying to raise the money.

Im not sleeping and very tired and work is very busy...

I hate this situation

takingcontrolatlast · 3 July 2016 at 10:53AM

So I have been budgeting again and tweaking here and there. If DH pays for the graduation meal/drinks I should be able to pay him back out of the July wages (although still trying to raise funds before the meal).

On that note, I have raised a grand total of £10 - hey it's £10 I never had!!

I have bought my sandles and they should be delivered this week - hope they look good with the dress. I was hoping to be 11 stone by now and i'm coming in still at 11 stone 4lb and had hoped by the graduation to be 10 1/2 stone (3 weeks). This aint gonna happen realistically :rotfl: However, I will carry on and try to lose weight and see how I get on.

Work had a 1:1 session with me as part of return to work as I was off sick one day - she asked me did I have anxiety :eek: No ... i'm fine, dont worry about me... it was just a migraine :cool:

I obviously am struggling and had a chat about it with DH yesterday explaining how money, trying to sell the house, wondering where we will end up, debts .. the whole shaboogle ... were getting on top of me. He's not that good in dealing with this kind of thing but listened. He went to pick up DD2 and brought me in a bottle of wine which was his way of saying dont cry as I dont know what to do as I'm not tactile ... but I did appreciate it.

I couldnt open it as I had promised my friend to help her babysit her 2 grandchildren but I will have drink tonight

Today consists of ironing and coursework and DD2 asked me to do something with her... not sure what i'm letting myself in for.

Enjoy Sunday x

takingcontrolatlast · 5 July 2016 at 9:01PM

I had a lovely day on Sunday with DD2 - she wanted to treat me bless her! She treated herself to a lovely top :rotfl:

It was nice spending quality time with her which is rare in her busy life.

Diet is pants - im nearly there, trying to reach 11 stone so lets ruin it by eating pork pies and cake!! I have 2 weeks left to lose weight :eek:

Shoes have arrived and they are lovely (3" stiletto sandles) but can I walk in them... no!! so I'm prancing around the house trying to "break them in" and walk like a catwalk model (oversized).. not a good look.:rotfl:

No money raised so far this week but I have done overtime which will go towards the Emergency Fund - should come in end of August.

takingcontrolatlast · 9 July 2016 at 12:04PM

It just seems relentless atm!

I'm working full-time, doing overtime, and studying. Thank goodness the family are helping out with the housework as I'm only doing the bare essentials through the week and a blitz at the weekend - although I haven't started yet!!

I've been up since 5 am - as I had a text from DD1 who is on holiday with the bf - i think she thought I wouldn't get the text till I woke up ha ha

So I had breakfast and done some knitting. I then completed part of my coursework and then watched some D*ve R*msey and some debt free screams. They always bring tears to my eyes - tears of happiness that they have done it! Very inspiring. They throw their whole energy into getting debt free - I feel like I'm pretending to get out of debt and that I should be trying harder...the main problem area for me is budgeting and probably trying to achieve everything I want.

This weekend is going to consist of coursework, more coursework and more coursework... maybe some knitting.... and coursework :eek:

Taking control

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