Should men still pay on a first date?

Poll started 18 Mar 2014

Traditional ideas of chivalry dictate that on a first date, the man should foot the bill. However, in this modern day and age when we’re striving for gender equality, it’s questionable whether gender should have anything to do with who pays on a first date.

Obviously, this poll only makes sense for heterosexual relationships.



Which of the options in this week's poll is closest to your view?


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Comments

  • I voted for the women should offer but the man should pay option. I have been known to pay my half with a money off voucher, I think it can be a good indicator of compatibility if they appreciate the voucher or think you are strange...!
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,739
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    Whoever does the asking should pay on the first date, regardless of gender.

    Was it expected that if the woman asks the man on a date the man still pays? Or was it expected that women wouldn't actually do the chasing?
  • I've always gone halves.
    I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.
    Lucille Ball
  • Of course whoever issued the invitation should pay! Otherwise I'd be asking potential dates if they like to have dinner, taking them to the Ritz, and letting them pick up the bill.
  • londonlydia
    londonlydia Posts: 428
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    I believe the accepted thing is that on the first date that the man should pay, but following that the rule applies that it is whoever asks should pay.

    Having said that, as a woman (in my late twenties) I would NEVER ask a man out for a first date. My mother drilled into me that the man should chase the woman, as it is unattractive for a woman to do the chasing (at least at the start). That's probably not the modern view, but I would say it is pretty true!
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,739
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    Ironically in the metros rush hour crush today a woman has written in complaining that a guy she likes hasn't asked her out yet. If you don't wish to ask men out fine, that's your choice. However you have no right to complain that no men, or the wrong men are asking you out.
  • tgroom57
    tgroom57 Posts: 1,431
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    Perhaps the rules for the 'first date' are simpler so that there is one less variable. For that reason, I feel best to let the man pay on the first date and woman to contribute on subsequent dates.

    We've had great fun negotiating this in practice - over the past 20 years. :)
  • I think this is one of those 'selective equality' issues for some women.
  • Indie_Kid
    Indie_Kid Posts: 23,077
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    Either halves or whoever asked should pay. But if one of them chooses something really expensive, they should pay, regardless of whoever asked who out.
    Sealed pot challenge #232. Gold stars from Sue-UU - :staradmin :staradmin £75.29 banked
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  • Cloudane
    Cloudane Posts: 524
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    If I asked then I'd offer to pay. But I consider it more "generally being polite, and wanting to treat someone I've taken a liking to" than "an expectation".

    I'm 100% in favour of equality between men and women, but it goes both ways, the ladies shouldn't be limiting their expectations to only when it's to their benefit. Equality means equality, not just switching things so the males end up the disadvantaged gender.
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