It's not a lot, but it's enough

Morning all,

3 days into November. NOVEMBER!! Jeeees Louise, where does the time go.

Managed a NSD on the 1st and yesterday was a spend day. I bought quite a few things for Xmas and most of which was on Amazon so I decided to use the Amazon Prime trial for 30 days, very impressed so far. I like the next day delivery and one-click payment thing too. Does it warrant £79 a year though? I’m not so sure.

I tried a new gym yesterday in Glasgow. The plan is my friend who I car share with will join me in the mornings before work. We’ll aim to go every weekday 7am-8am, which is fine by me. I’m not a morning person although I wish I was so hopefully this routine will change that. Also this gym is £18 a month as opposed to the £30 I’m currently paying, so it’s MSE.

I was at a networking event yesterday and I was talking to a life coach. He takes his clients out and into the wilderness; long walks, mountaineering, kayaking etc. I totally bought into how a long walk in the country side with nothing to do but talk could be so beneficial. He said that he just asks the right questions as everyone knows the answer to whichever problem they have. It really opened my eyes to it all and although I don’t have many personal problems I was tempted to give him some business.

I say I don’t have many problems however I’m having an internal battle with myself most days. I’m having doubts about my GF and I. I’ll elaborate another time when I have the time however I just don’t see a future there and the longer it goes on the more I feel that way. Decisions, decisions.

Thanks guys, Maybe an impartial view would be beneficial.

My GF and I met in Feb of last year and we've been together probably since June last year. In comparison to my only other previous relationship, it's been rocky. More arguments than I'd like and that I'm used to. She's lazy with her money, fitness and health - which is now very much opposite to me. I at one point did see a future with us. I pictured her being my wife. I used to rehearse what my speech would be at our wedding when I was driving home from work for goodness sakes!

Lately, I would say the last month or 2, I've not felt the way I once did. I don't mean the "honeymoon period", I mean I don't see a future. I can't imagine being with her the rest of life. I imagined the scenario of her falling pregnant unexpectedly, what would my reaction be...? F*ck! I'm now forever attached to her for life. What kind of way is that to feel about your current GF?!? Something isn't right and the frustrating thing is that I can't pinpoint it down to one specific thing. It's not like we've had an argument about a specific thing. I just feel different. I've fell out of love.

This afternoon I couldn't keep it in any longer. I asked if tonight we could have a serious chat and I've just came back home from said conversation. It was sooooo tough. I was as open and honest as I could be however as I said, I couldn't offer her a definitive reason, just a "I don't feel the same".

She went through all the emotions. Initially it was tears and begging. Promising she'll change, although I argued that wouldn't be fair on either of us to ask her to change and make out things are rosey for a while before it falls back to feeling the way I do just now. She begged and begged for another chance. She asked for a week to make me fall back in love with her. I apologised and asked for some time.

The dilemma I have is this; I felt I gave her/the relationship time during the last 2 months when I sat back an analysed the relationship in it's most natural form - without anyone forcing or changing anything. However this is the first I've raised my concern that I don't feel the same, so should I give her this chance? Or will it feel false and I'll just go back to this way in a matter days/weeks?

I asked her to give me time to get my head straight and to be sure I'm making the right decision. I've not told anyone about this as I don't particularly want to. I don't particularly like airing dirty laundry however I feel an overwhelming sense that offloading 'anonymously' might help me vent and come to a conclusion.

Bear in mind, I'm 26. This is my 2nd serious girlfriend. I'm now debt free and saving. I have a good job, fine friends and wonderful family. I just feel this relationship is a bit...toxic.

Your thoughts are welcome and appreciated, thank you.

Littlebirdie wrote: »

Hey, I've just come out of a serious 2 year relationship. To be honest, it was rocky. We loved are cared for each other but we couldn't come to a compromise on little things. We tried to give it a go again and well it didn't work. I think we are both glad that we did give it another shot though.

In your heart of hearts you know whether it will work or not. If want you can give it another go, it just depends if it's for your sake or her sake.

It's totally acceptable though that you have grown into two different people - that's what happens. Sounds like you are getting to a good place in yourself

Thanks for posting.

I think if I were to give it another shot, it would purely be for her sake. I wouldn't be happy. Again, because it's not down to one specific reason, it's more difficult to fix. For her to make more of an effort is unfair because it's not fell apart because of a lack of effort.

You're right, I feel like I am in good place, for the first time in years and that due to a lot of hard work to get the big black cloud of debt away and also a lot of soul searching (pardon the cliche).

I think I know what I need to do.