Reallife MMD: Should I send wedding invites to family members who can't come?
Comments
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Most definitely send them out. Perhaps a bit less elaborate, to cut costs.
Speaking from experience, it causes a lot of offence not to be invited.
From a hard nosed perspective, think about effect on the generosity of the wedding present by an ignored relative.0 -
Only send invites to people you actually want to show up to your wedding!
We sent an invite out of politness to my husbands batty Aunt who never goes to any family gatherings EVER (I have know my husband for 13 years and I have met her once, at a her own daughers wedding, despite not living all that far away). We fully expected her to decline since that is what she does for every occation. To our amazment she actually accepted, only for her not to show up on the day without explanation or apology. Her invite and the money for her meal etc had been wasted. We could have invited another close frind or relative in her place. This was years ago and still annoys me to this day!
It's your wedding, do it your way. Your family will get over it!0 -
Don't bother. Parents will always try and get their tuppence worth in but it is YOUR wedding after all. If they have said they cannot come, then it is pointless wasting money and sending invites to them. When your mum got married it was different and it was the done to send invites to everyone and anyone, but traditions like that don't matter anymore. Be strong and don't worry about ruffling a few feathers.0
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It's you and your partner's wedding. When you are married you'll need to make decisions jointly with your partner and not your mother. You may as well start doing that now. Talk to your partner and decide between the two of you what is best.0
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I think it is you that is tight. Not the money.
How many people say they cannot come ? Hundreds?
I suppose you will not say no to a cheque or present from them?
They may be able to come due to them changing their arrangements.
Send those invites. We have had invites from family in Malaysia, Singapore, S. Africa and Australia. They are your friends
and family, respect them.0 -
Right here's the answer - why people don't do this more, I never understand in these situations - PHONE THEM.
A phone call is lovely to receive - you get to chat, tell them about your wedding, the date, can they come - no, ok - just thought I'd check!
There, saved you a fortune and you have taken the time and effort to ring them and had a lovely chat too!0 -
It does seem like an unnecessary expense if you are on a tight budget. Why not send a friendly email acknowledging your disappointment that they can't be there, give them some details of your plans and promise to email some photos of the big day. All of this will be free but will make them feel a small part of it. If any of them are not on email, phone them for a chat about it.0
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Depends on the relatives. I know my elderly relatives love to get an invitation even if they're not well enough or able to attend. They enjoy looking at the invite and thinking about the occasion on the day and then a photo and/or a piece of cake afterwards. Don't deprive them of a little lift in their day by receiving something nice in the post.
Younger ones who have already mad it clear they can't come - an email or phone call would be fine.0 -
Wedding invitations are a dilemma and can divide families.
My wife and I married a couple of years ago (second marriage for both of us) and received the following advice/ top tip prior:
Although it was said half in jest (?) You invite your nearest and dearest to the wedding breakfast then, in the evening, all the people who you didn't want!
We kept our numbers extremely small ( it was our day) then invited a number of acquaintances to our local to join us for a drink. It actually got so busy that the landlord provided some sandwiches for free!
We went and visited our relatives over the next year and showed our pictures. When we were asked why we didn't invite them, we were honest and said we only wanted a small wedding. No-one fell out with us.
Whatever you do, good luck and remember everybody believes they can solve your problems far better than you!0 -
Unless they have told you directly they can't come,you can't assume that is the case. More importantly,do you actually want them to be there? Don't invite people you don't want,just because your Mum says you have to. It is your wedding after all! If they are people you really care about,and you know they can't come,how about a quick phone call just to have a chat and they don't feel left out.0
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