Do I have to invite all my friends/family's children?
lily78
Posts: 3 Newbie
I have a reasonably large family (8 cousins, all married, most with 2 kids each). Some of these kids I've only met once or twice, they range from 2 to 21 years old and there are 14 of them.
Ideally I'd like to invite the little ones (under 10s) as they will be able to play with my nieces (5 and 8) but not the older ones as:
a. I don't know them
b. They will be classes as adults by the venue and cost me a small fortune
c. As teenagers I don't think they'll want to come/play on their phones all the time and generally be ungrateful I've shelled out £50+ each for them
Also we'd like to invite some close friends kids, but not other friend's kids.
How do I tackle this with my cousins/friends who's kids aren't invited?
Ideally I'd like to invite the little ones (under 10s) as they will be able to play with my nieces (5 and 8) but not the older ones as:
a. I don't know them
b. They will be classes as adults by the venue and cost me a small fortune
c. As teenagers I don't think they'll want to come/play on their phones all the time and generally be ungrateful I've shelled out £50+ each for them
Also we'd like to invite some close friends kids, but not other friend's kids.
How do I tackle this with my cousins/friends who's kids aren't invited?
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Comments
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Don't think it'll go down well with the ones whose kids aren't invited. We chose not to invite any children at all - would have added at least 16 to the guest list and we didn't know any of them well.0
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Ideally I'd like to invite the little ones (under 10s) as they will be able to play with my nieces (5 and 8) but not the older ones
Also we'd like to invite some close friends kids, but not other friend's kids.
How do I tackle this with my cousins/friends who's kids aren't invited?
You can invite whoever you want - but be very specific on the invites so that people know whether their children are included or not.
Be ready for people to be upset that other people's children are invited but theirs aren't!0 -
This is your wedding, at your expense. You are allowed to invite by name those whom you'd like to attend.
The only hitch comes when on the day people realise their little darling(s) didn't make the cut & don't feel that a day without child enjoying a wedding is absolutely worth it.
The only path I can see that saves your bacon is to deploy your mum (or whomever can talk to Everyone involved without making you seem like a screaming Bridezilla) and persuading them according to a clear list either that they want to bring their little dears or that on mature considerations, they really do not. That's quite a lot of negotiation, but it may prevent WW3.0 -
It's your day and your decision but be sensitive to the fact you may experience a much longer period of resentment and friction.
Some cousin's kids are OK but not others, some friend's kids are OK but not others. A 9 year old is OK but not an 10 year old.
If it was me I'd stick to the nieces only as presume they are bridesmaids/flower girls. That way no one can get the hump and you are saving even more money.
It's a difficult one for sure. Good luck!0 -
If it was me I'd stick to the nieces only as presume they are bridesmaids/flower girls. That way no one can get the hump and you are saving even more money.
Someone will - we've seen it on here - "If my children aren't welcome at the wedding, I'm not going either!" - mind you, that's more money saved.
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Gosh it's a minefield with weddings, isn't it?
In all honesty, in your situation, I just wouldn't invite the children of the cousins at all - if you start segregating by age then it just gets even more awkward than it already is!
Prepare for them to potentially get the hump if you invite your friends kids but honestly, don't let it bother you. You don't need to justify it but if you wanted to, your nieces are bridesmaids and the few other kids are those of very close friends (if it were me I'd be very selective with that though if I didn't want them to get really annoyed) and you are very close to the kids themselves too, but the wedding budget simply couldn't stretch to include everybody's entire family unit. That's it.
I sympathise, it's awkward but be polite and firm from the start and leave it at that. If they don't like it, that's sad but it's their problem and you can't put yourself out of pocket just to keep them happy on your wedding day!0 -
You mean you would invite little kids but not their older siblings?
I don't think you could send out an invite saying little Jenny is invited but little Janey is not.
Better no kids at all, I think.0 -
Thanks for the replies. We've decided on no kids, much easier than having an age cut off.0
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I wouldn't invite any children at all to keep it fair - be prepared for people to moan but it's your day!
eta:- sorry didn't see post above!Striving to clear the mortgage before it finishes in Dec 2028 - amount currently owed - £43,915.980 -
It's the same at all weddings. People say "it's your day do what you like" until you say something they don't agree with.
We're not wanting children at our wedding next year apart from a niece and a nephew but I can imagine it's going to cause a fuss. At least if they don't attend we save the money on them lol0
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