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koumas1
Posts: 12 Forumite
I have been with my partner for 4 years now, since we first met working abroad. We quit our jobs and returned to the UK with the aim of settling down and getting our own place. In order to help us afford a home we moved in with my partners parents as this was the only way we could realistically save money to find a place.
My partner is very much financially driven and will often go without any luxuries in order to achieve a financial aim, often to my annoyance that she won't treat us to nights out etc because she doesn't want to waste money etc. I on the other hand like to enjoy life now as well as plan for the future and feel we deserve to enjoy life whilst we can and as a result my savings or contributions towards the house has hardly increased in the past 4 years.
My partner's parents have been kind enough to look after us for 2 years but I want a space of our own and a place to call ours, I have been very pushy towards this as my partner would rather save more money towards the deposit but I think we need a house now - she had save £100k (which is more than enough).
My partner has since purchased a house using the £100k she saved but wouldn't put my name on the house as I haven't been able to contribute anything towards the deposit. I want to have my name on the house and I have told her that I do not feel like this house is ours as it is in her name - it's her house.
She has reassured me that it is our house and that it will always be considered as such. We are now in a position where there are various things that need to be done to renovate the home such as a complete new bathroom and the lounge and bedrooms need a modest over haul too. We still need a new TV, washing machine, cooker etc.
My partner has asked me to help with paying for some of the work that will need to be done which will go into about £3,000 for all the work that will need to be done.
I don't want to pay anything towards the house because although we have been together for 4 years if we were to split then I wouldn't have any of that money. My partner has also asked that if I can't pay for refurbishments if I could buy things like the telly or washing machine etc but again I don't want to buy these as I would have no way to keep such big items as I would have to move back to my parents or somewhere else if we split.
I have told her that I will pay for things for the house but only if she puts my name on the house, otherwise I think it's unfair for her to expect me to pay for anything as I will have nothing to show for it if we split. Her reasons for not putting my name on the house is that she doesn't feel financially secure with putting my name on the house because my financial spending is more spontaneous than hers and because in the 4 years I haven't been able to make any savings.
I think she is being unreasonable expecting me to pay for upgrades to the house or big ticket items as I will lose out. I will be happy to share our bills equally but if she wants to make lavish upgrades or posh items such as TV's etc she shouldn't expect me to pay for them.
What do you think? Is she being unreasonable?
My partner is very much financially driven and will often go without any luxuries in order to achieve a financial aim, often to my annoyance that she won't treat us to nights out etc because she doesn't want to waste money etc. I on the other hand like to enjoy life now as well as plan for the future and feel we deserve to enjoy life whilst we can and as a result my savings or contributions towards the house has hardly increased in the past 4 years.
My partner's parents have been kind enough to look after us for 2 years but I want a space of our own and a place to call ours, I have been very pushy towards this as my partner would rather save more money towards the deposit but I think we need a house now - she had save £100k (which is more than enough).
My partner has since purchased a house using the £100k she saved but wouldn't put my name on the house as I haven't been able to contribute anything towards the deposit. I want to have my name on the house and I have told her that I do not feel like this house is ours as it is in her name - it's her house.
She has reassured me that it is our house and that it will always be considered as such. We are now in a position where there are various things that need to be done to renovate the home such as a complete new bathroom and the lounge and bedrooms need a modest over haul too. We still need a new TV, washing machine, cooker etc.
My partner has asked me to help with paying for some of the work that will need to be done which will go into about £3,000 for all the work that will need to be done.
I don't want to pay anything towards the house because although we have been together for 4 years if we were to split then I wouldn't have any of that money. My partner has also asked that if I can't pay for refurbishments if I could buy things like the telly or washing machine etc but again I don't want to buy these as I would have no way to keep such big items as I would have to move back to my parents or somewhere else if we split.
I have told her that I will pay for things for the house but only if she puts my name on the house, otherwise I think it's unfair for her to expect me to pay for anything as I will have nothing to show for it if we split. Her reasons for not putting my name on the house is that she doesn't feel financially secure with putting my name on the house because my financial spending is more spontaneous than hers and because in the 4 years I haven't been able to make any savings.
I think she is being unreasonable expecting me to pay for upgrades to the house or big ticket items as I will lose out. I will be happy to share our bills equally but if she wants to make lavish upgrades or posh items such as TV's etc she shouldn't expect me to pay for them.
What do you think? Is she being unreasonable?
Should I be expected to pay for things for my partners house that we share? 49 votes
Yes, as I live there too
77%
38 votes
Yes, but only if she puts your name in the title deeds
2%
1 vote
No, not if she agrees to pay you back if you split
6%
3 votes
No, it's her house why should you pay for her to profit
14%
7 votes
0
Comments
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Who pays the mortgage ?
Who would benefit from lavish things and a posh tv?
Surely the house should have been in joint names, joint mortgage etc, but with her havnig 100k and you having 0k equity at the start. If you split, then you proportion it out in the relevant way ? If the house cost 200k, then your partner owns outright 50% and then half of the other 50%. Hence if in 10 years time its worth 400k and you split, she gets 200k, then 50% of the rest?0 -
If this isn't a wind up you need to go your separate ways.0
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splitting the cost of consumer goods like a washing machine seems fair as you both use it - if you split up then you can check the value on ebay sold items and ask for half of the second hand value. same with tv if you both use it. i think it is unreasonable to expect to own a share of somebody elses house simply by living in it!0
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She pays all the mortgage, paid all the solicitor fees, stump duty etc, insurance, As it stands i haven't paid anything towards the house, the purchase of the house - im just splitting half the living costs.
I agree that I should have half of whatever is left after her share but she says it cost her over £2500 (Stamp duty, solicitor fees, home buyers survey etc) just to be able to buy the house and that as I didn't help towards any of this then this would be money she "would lose" if I had a share as I never contributed to any of it and so why should I benefit from all her hard work if I won't contribute anything at all to the house?0 -
She pays all the mortgage, paid all the solicitor fees, stump duty etc, insurance, As it stands i haven't paid anything towards the house, the purchase of the house - im just splitting half the living costs.
I agree that I should have half of whatever is left after her share but she says it cost her over £2500 (Stamp duty, solicitor fees, home buyers survey etc) just to be able to buy the house and that as I didn't help towards any of this then this would be money she "would lose" if I had a share as I never contributed to any of it and so why should I benefit from all her hard work if I won't contribute anything at all to the house?
As you dont pay half of the mortgage I'd recind my earlier comment of having half after her share (which at this point is nothing as its mortgaged!) - youre basically a lodger, and I guess a rent free lodger at that!0 -
Who pays the mortgage ?
Who would benefit from lavish things and a posh tv?
Surely the house should have been in joint names, joint mortgage etc, but with her havnig 100k and you having 0k equity at the start. If you split, then you proportion it out in the relevant way ? If the house cost 200k, then your partner owns outright 50% and then half of the other 50%. Hence if in 10 years time its worth 400k and you split, she gets 200k, then 50% of the rest?
I don't understand the maths here - If I start with a 0% share of an asset that doubles in value I would expect to retain my % share in the asset NOT come away with a different % share.0 -
I don't understand the maths here - If I start with a 0% share of an asset that doubles in value I would expect to retain my % share in the asset NOT come away with a different % share.
Yes - I think thats what he has now - a 0% share which will only ever be a 0% share unless he starts pulling his weight a bit!
My point was, if house was 200k, person 1 put in 100k, person 2 0k then a mortgage for 100k - at that point person 1 has the 100k equity (50% of the house value) and they both then pay the mortgage equally - therefore jointly liable for the mortgage (and equity increase) for the other half.
After say 10 years, the house is worth 400k (doubled in value for simplicity) and the mortgage had been paid jointly as a partnership then in the event of a split it should go:-
Person 1 - gets 50% of 400k = 200k to reflect the gain their 100k made.
That leaves 200k from the sale, image the mortgage had 50k left and gets paid off - thats 150k left.
That 150k is then split 50/50 (to reflect the joint share of the other half of the house).
End result - Person 1 gets 275k, Person 2 gets 75k0 -
You're right that it's "a bit cheeky" to ask you to pay for things you couldn't take if she chucked you out.... on the other hand, what might've been a good idea would've been for you to save a theoretical rent value into your own account each month as your "walking money" should that ever happen, so you're not left with no money and no options.
Should things work out that money could then be used to put into the house.
You do come over as a bit of a whining financial liability who doesn't share her vision/aspirations though ... which is probably why she's got it all in her name as she's not entirely sure she can depend on you.
Right now you're living rent free ... without any responsibility. You've effectively lived rent free and without any actual responsibilities for 4 years. On balance .... it's probably not unfair for you to dip your hand in your pocket, even if you do walk away with "nothing" should you ever be chucked out.
But, I bet, dipping your hand in your pocket will send a good message to her that you DO want to be part of the journey and not just as a passenger and you'll build some trust in the eyes of your long-suffering, financially aware, hard working, responsible partner
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I think I get this - one person puts in 100k cash and they get a joint mortgage on the remaining 100k so the equity share is 150k:50k (75%:25%)
The house doubles in value over 10 years and if it was then sold the cash would be split 300k:100k (75%:25%) they would each owe 25k of o/s mortgage reducing the cash proceeds to 275k:75k0 -
Oh, a multiple choice poll.
So, I can vote yes and no... brilliant.
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