Vegan, Bipolar and in Debt.

crazy_cat_lady · 16 October 2016 at 10:36AM

Hang on in there - you're doing great.

evkizzy · 19 October 2016 at 3:55PM

My dad has FINALLY started paying me back for what he owes me. £120 over the last 2 weeks which I used some to buy food shopping, some towards my loan and the rest has gone on CCs (where it's supposed to go).

Had a crazy big house clearence and clean this weekend. We took bags of old shoes to be recycled, a full car load of stuff that I've not been able to sell to the charity shop and while we were out I got my fringe trimmed (for free) and collect my engagement ring which had been resized (for free).
In sorting through my study (work and junk room) I found my old purse which I thought I'd lost for good. There was no money inside but all my store loyalty cards and stamped loyalty cards for coffee and meals were in there too. So that helps with my extreme couponing and I bought a "business card" wallet aka a coupon holder for £1 in the back of some random birthday card shop so now my coupons are all together in used by date order.

I started a fb page to let people know about couponong and cashback with a view to highlight the best offers that apply to vegans. Waste of time?
Nope. I used my QuidoCo abd TopCashback referral links to get people to sign up and as long as they use it I'll be paid something for my help. (I've had one sign up so far with a potential £8 to gain).

I'm also continuing to use the bartering system. I'm teaching and helping with business plan writing for a local community group and in exchange they have agreed to completely sort out my garden (which I've been calling my wildlife sanctuary).

Looking forward to seeing Amanda Palmer in Liverpool on Sunday (early birthday present from SO) the Halloween Supper Club on 28th.

Though, I have to admit I'm getting anxiety attacks again over basically nothing. Like seeing people that I feel I've let down. I've been looking at oaterns in my moods (BP habit) and belive it could be possible that a lot of how I'vevbeen feeling over the last 3 years could be a side effect of my Nexplanon (contraceptive implant). I'm due to get it replaced this week vut instead I'm getting it totally removed and will see if I return to "normal" without extra hormones flooding my system. Either it will help or a need a psych consult.

How's your week been?

K9sandFelines · 20 October 2016 at 12:48AM

Hi Evy

Following as also vegan and there arent many others on here unless you follow the vegan old style thread I think it is. I think I am subscribedto that but not 100%.I have anxiety and depression in mild amounts so can sympathise with you,though no idea how you cope when things are bad. If its any help have a look at the Old Style board if nobody has suggested it already, and also for help or advise or just a chinwag re MH there is a Vegan Mental Health group on F/B.

Wish you all the luck in the world.

K9sandFelines · 20 October 2016 at 1:47AM

evkizzy wrote: »

Ugh! Life is throwing everything it’s got at me at the moment. :wall:

Went to the bank to see if they could figure out a way to reduce interest on CCs as I’m paying more interest than payments atm and I’m not eligible for other cards so balance transfers are out of the window. That ended in my crying and feeling helpless... Then I got a balance sheet workbook thing to work through then return for another meeting to see what can be done...

I went home and found my poor baby (cat) Minky got hit by a car today. He has deep cuts and bruises all over his face, a bloodshot eye, smashed teeth and splintered claws and bloody paws.
So aside from huge emotional distress, mainly on my part, and severe physical pain, on his, I was almost crippled by a vet bill of £70!!! :eek: _pale_

Either Karma has got in for me or..... well, I have no reason why all this bad stuff is happening all at once.

My mental health along with my healthy eating has gone out the window this past week... think I need to surround myself with IRL lovely people for hugs. Gosh, I could use them right now. think I’ll try and take the rest of the month off and start again fresh in September.

I’m feeling overwhelmed and maybe taking some recharge time will help.... maybe?

Over and out...for now.

Omg I hope I get further down your diary to find your cat is recovered. Ne er rains but it pours does it. Put money aside every month if you can to cover any sos animal fund/vet bills/wormer and defleaer etc

K9sandFelines · 20 October 2016 at 2:01AM

evkizzy wrote: »

Supper Club went well. I made my £10 profit (washing up fee) and we raised £80 for the fountain fund. I'm so glad that the next one isn't a fundraiser. So I can actually keep all the profits. Plus it's a Halloween special which I love as it means making everything themed! I'm carving a marrow into an alligator head and making a cajun jambalaya/gumbo (not decided yet).

I've made a few pennies from fans of my supper club through selling leftovers/readymeals. Which will help me decide how viable it'll be to start my own business in the new year.

I currently have no idea how im surviving without money. I'm constantly terrified but hopeful that I'll figure something out.

Havent had gumbo/jambalaya whilst Vegan. Was yours for non Vegans or do you make it yourself at home too? What do you use to replicate prawns? I hate Frys prawns and funghi that imitates fish.

Sorry for several individual quotes.I dont know how to multi quote, especially whilst on my phone.

K9sandFelines · 20 October 2016 at 2:12AM

evkizzy wrote: »

My dad has FINALLY started paying me back for what he owes me. £120 over the last 2 weeks which I used some to buy food shopping, some towards my loan and the rest has gone on CCs (where it's supposed to go).

Had a crazy big house clearence and clean this weekend. We took bags of old shoes to be recycled, a full car load of stuff that I've not been able to sell to the charity shop and while we were out I got my fringe trimmed (for free) and collect my engagement ring which had been resized (for free).
In sorting through my study (work and junk room) I found my old purse which I thought I'd lost for good. There was no money inside but all my store loyalty cards and stamped loyalty cards for coffee and meals were in there too. So that helps with my extreme couponing and I bought a "business card" wallet aka a coupon holder for £1 in the back of some random birthday card shop so now my coupons are all together in used by date order.

I started a fb page to let people know about couponong and cashback with a view to highlight the best offers that apply to vegans. Waste of time?
Nope. I used my QuidoCo abd TopCashback referral links to get people to sign up and as long as they use it I'll be paid something for my help. (I've had one sign up so far with a potential £8 to gain).

I'm also continuing to use the bartering system. I'm teaching and helping with business plan writing for a local community group and in exchange they have agreed to completely sort out my garden (which I've been calling my wildlife sanctuary).

Looking forward to seeing Amanda Palmer in Liverpool on Sunday (early birthday present from SO) the Halloween Supper Club on 28th.

Though, I have to admit I'm getting anxiety attacks again over basically nothing. Like seeing people that I feel I've let down. I've been looking at oaterns in my moods (BP habit) and belive it could be possible that a lot of how I'vevbeen feeling over the last 3 years could be a side effect of my Nexplanon (contraceptive implant). I'm due to get it replaced this week vut instead I'm getting it totally removed and will see if I return to "normal" without extra hormones flooding my system. Either it will help or a need a psych consult.

How's your week been?

I would definitely be interested in your Facebook couponing page. I also have trouble sleeping as y ou can tell by the time I am writing this. Good luck with implant coming out. Ive had two over the years and they sent alot of things haywire. I am completely single at the mo so also completely contraceptive free, so hormone free but not pain free once a month unofrtunately. Im going to see if I can find your page on my own on fb (snooping :-p).
"Speak" soon

evkizzy · 21 October 2016 at 4:42AM

Wow. That’s an intense read-through, I bet.

Putting tiny amounts of money aside for sos vet bills seems like a good idea in theory but while I’m struggling to meet payment deadlines it will have to sit on the back burner until I’m back on my feet.

Hoping the main side effect of having the implant removed is that I regain a semblance of my libido (It disappeared about a years ago along with my motivation and ability to lose weight despite eating really well. The page I made is new and called Vegan Cheapskate. Hope that helps K9s and Felines. I’ll be doing round ups of cash back apps, MSE coupons and random other discounts and frugal living things I feel are relavent to post about on there.

I can’t unlock my £20 on Checkout Smart as I literally don’t have the money to buy the items needed to get them for free. Ugh. life can be so cruel sometimes.

I did some voluntary work today for my co-op and after doing the accounts discovered that I’m owed at least £20.52 for item sold in their gift shops over the past 3 months. Which I will have to give straight to my SO as I still owe him £130/200 for covering my loan this month as well as £25 for upfront mobile phone costs. I got his old Samsung S2 3 years ago and it is failing to work in ways that can no longer be repaired and is no longer compatible with pst updates. It seems silly to get a new(ish) smartphone when you have no income but with it I make an average of £40 in cash back apps a month which covers the cost of the phone. Plus I’ve downloaded an app to watch an advert a day on my mobile to get £3 off the bill each month. So really I’m only paying £12 a month more that I was to have a piece of technology that actually helps save me money, right? Or have I been really stupid? I do also teach workshops from time to time on using social media and it helps if I can actually access pages while on the go. I’m worried I’ve gone beyond my means but the SO said it was a necessity. Especially as I need to keep my supper club updated with food pics and booking seats through Paypal etc. It’s also useful as now I have enough space for lots of different apps including messenger for talking to my dad (who moved to Spain earlier this year). I’m trying to rationalise it but it’s too late now. I’ve signed the contract and added my life to it.

I’m really struggling with mixed episodes at the moment, including being really aggressive for no reason or bursting into tears. Everything is generally awful in my brain right now. Argued with the SO tonight as he wanted a takeaway and I said it isn’t fair to allow me to have all these treats paid for by him when we’ve no idea if he will need to keep some money saved up incase we can’t buy food next month. It was really scary to hear myself be so verbally cruel to him. The words coming out of my mouth that were so unlike me. We didn’t get a takeaway. We got in and I went straight to bed (mainly because I was so stressed I was going to be sick and partly to avoid another argument). Then when he decided to come to be 2 hours later (at 8pm) I got up, just to avoid being spoken to or even touched. I’m so physically tense. I can’t seem to calm myself down. I just have to keep hoping I can get myself well so I can get myself a job.

I’m so unwell that I am blacking out and suddenly finding myself in places not knowing how I got there or what I’m doing and struggling to get the words in my brain out of my mouth.

We NEVER argue. So when we do I just freak out that he hates me and that he will realise one day that having a Bipolar wife is too much of a commitment. Sorry for such a bleak post. It started off with good intentions but I just feel like sh...

Florence_J · 22 October 2016 at 10:19PM

Oh EV Kizzy

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Sometimes it is a build up of little things that can cause great pain later on.

In regards to your SO, I will tell you something I am sadly unable to tell myself when I feel the way you do.

I have very bad days and cause my OH great trouble when my mental health takes a dive. But lets give your SO and my OH some credit. They're capable of making their own decisions, they know us, they live with us, they have been with us for a good many years.

I always worry that my OH is going to realise life would be simpler with a GF who has her mental health in check, but he loves me. He has made a decision that life is better with me, warts and all, then life without.

I say this because it will be the same for your SO. Your SO loves you, they know you. Their life is better because you are in it.

Your SO and my OH will accept the bad days because the good days are better than the bad days are bad.

I would love to know more about your facebook page so will head over to check it out.

Take care my dear. x

K9sandFelines · 23 October 2016 at 9:37PM

Sorry you are having a rough time. Could it be the winter months exasperating your condition. Do you feel worse mood wise in the winter months? I know I sometimes don't want to leave the comfort of my bed or the house, when the weather is cold or lousy outside. I've joined your FB page as you know. My money is going to be tight at the end of the month too, as I have been on the sick the last three weeks. Obviously I will still have the same bills to pay out of a lower wage, so i will be a bit stressed I think this month also.

evkizzy · 25 October 2016 at 12:30PM

So Friday night was awful. I was hallucinating and manic and alone and unable to calm down... long depressing story short... I spent the night in A&E.

Yesterday I went to get the implant out and after a 45 min wait and a lot of questions was told that there was no one on the staff who could do it that day (after being told on the phone that I couldn't book an appointment), so it's penciled in for next week.

Then I used my cc to buy food because I had no choice.

I feel like my debts are drowning me and I've no strength to pull myself out.

It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm supposed to be on track for my debt busting deadline but I'm just so mentally and physically exhausted that I don't feel much like celebrating.

Sorry for the sad post. Just letting you know why I've fallen off the radar lately.

Vegan, Bipolar and in Debt.

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