The Great Hunt: Your wastes of wedding cash - what should newlyweds avoid?

If you do put disposable cameras on (like we did 8 years ago, people didn't have many camera phones then) don't let kids get a hold of them.
We got about 20 photos of the glasses on the table. Very annoying when they were a fiver each camera then processing on top.
We spent most of our money on the honeymoon and had a small wedding with only immediate family. I'm glad we didn't do the big wedding and I'm sure there were people who weren't happy about it, but really it's not about them.

Only been a guest myself, but had to share the story of the biggest waste I've ever seen... A CHIMNEYSWEEP. Not sure if this is a London thing, but I went to a wedding where the bride had spent £200 on hiring a man to dress as a chimneysweep as it was good luck (he wasnt even a real one!)! All he did was drink several of the glasses of fizz and be letcherous in photos...as he was covered in soot as well all he did was cover all the ladies' dresses in black dirt!

We had our dads drive us to the venue, just bought ribbons for the cars. Was really nice to share the journey with both bridesmaids and my Dad!

Also we skipped a starter which saved us loads, had a fish and chip van for the main - (a massive hit!! We used a national company called KK Catering and they were fab) - and served our wedding cake for dessert. Although our cake was mostly fake (except bottom tier for cutting) so we actually served pre-cut wedding bars from Marks and Spencers. They do reasonably priced cakes actually, really worth looking into. We used foam for the top tiers and had a friend ice them, then I decorated with false flowers the night before.

We also got married in February which earned us a 50% discount on the venue.

I made our bouquets from lilies and roses bought from Tesco! Bought some nice ribbon to put round them after watching lots of DIY videos on YouTube and loads of people commented on how lovely they were. We also had candles instead of flowers which cut costs hugely. We made our own centrepieces (just cheap glass vases filled with sand, some shells and a candle).

We did lots ourselves which was really stressful in the last couple of weeks, but totally worth it. The day felt so much more personal because we did a lot ourselves (with help from our family and friends) and we managed to keep costs really low.

My mother-in-law was brilliant and made all of the invites herself as she is a crafter anyway so had all the bits required, and we used pebbles for the place settings meaning we saved on that too. I've seen playing cards used before too which was nice (although it was an Alice in Wonderland theme so it fitted well).

My dress was also second hand at £46 (inc delivery) from eBay! I did then have to pay £50 for alterations but was still a steal!

Lastly, we only invited 70 guests to the day, and had the rule that if you don't have their number in your mobile phone or you've not spoken to them in the last year then they probably don't need to be at your wedding! This cut costs hugely and felt really nice to have such an intimate day.

For us (bar the venue and the food), the most costly things were the rings and the photographs, which we decided to spend more on because they were the things that would last when the day was over.

pippinpuss wrote: »

Bridesmaids are supposed to pay for their own dresses. It's tradition.

Only in the USA. In the UK, traditionally the Bride (or her father if you are being old-fashioned) pays for the dresses, as she is the one choosing them. If you want your bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, then you should also be allowing them to chose them, so they end up with a dress they like and can use again.

In terms of savings generally:

Decide which things are important to *you*, the couple. Not what your parents, or friends, or bridal magazines say you 'ought' to have.

make sure that you are not taking advantage of your guests - it's not OK to expect guests to pay for their own meal, for instance, and if you plan to have a cash bar you should still provide something to drink, even if it it only water and soft drinks, and should consider the prices at the bar.

Venues: dedicated 'wedding' venues can be very expensive - hiring a church hall or similar can work out a lot cheaper, even of you then spend money on decoration.

Flowers - prices for wedding bouquets have a huge mark up. Consider buying loose flowers and making up the bouquet yourself (unless you desperately want something really elaborate)

Photos - think about what you want. Do you want lots of posed pictures? if not, set up a Flickr account or similar, and print cads with the log in details and ask everyone to upload their pictures following the wedding.

Cars - how important is it to you to roll up in a chauffeur driver Rolls? A car wash and some ribbon to jazz up your own / a parents' car to get to the ceremony and reception, and a taxi to leave in will be much cheaper. Bear in mind that often, everyone will be in the church/venue when you arrive, so won't see the car when you get there, so you are basically paying for a prop for a few photos after the ceremony. (plus, if you go in a friend or family member's car you can, if you, leave a pair of comfortable shoes there, and don't have to panic about whether it will arrive on time)

If you can get married out of peak times you will find that you can negotiate, and costs will generally be lower, so February, November etc will be a lot less than June or August.

The things *not* to scrimp on are things which effectively mean other people are paying for your day - so no getting people to pay for their meals, if you ask friends to do photographs / cake making / decoration make clear that they are free to say no, and that you regard the time and effort they put in to be their gift to you, and do not expect them to give you another gift as well. If you ask a friend to make your cake, pay for the ingredients yourself - particualarly if you want a traditional fruit cake - the ingredients cost a lot and mount up very quickly - I made one tier of my sisters cake (I offered to do so, she did not ask!) and the ingredients alone cost over £50, for example.


some of the nicest weddings I have been to have been the least expensive. One couple I know had a tiny registry office wedding (immediate family only) then a big, casual reception - buffet meal, a couple of barrels of beer and boxes of wine, ice-cream van for dessert, and some games such as giant jenga and garden snakes-and ladders which kept the children present entertained.