Son's Debt

nicki wrote:

Don't let him sponge off you anymore. Refuse to even buy him deodrant or shampoo for himself. Don't give him socialising money at all. Don't pay any of his debts off. Make him realise that since he is big enough to run up these debts he has got to grow-up and pay them. Tell him he's got two weeks to get intouch with the job center and sign on (they even fill the forms out over the phone now initially instead of you having to go in and sit there for half-a-hour filling them in) or he will HAVE to move out as you are no longer willing to support him and getting nothing back. Tough love works. Trust me

This is about the best advice you could get. Until he learns what things cost, he's not going to get anywhere and you're heading for a potential future of having a 40 year old dole scrounging layabout still living at home. Why would he move out? He's got a cleaner, laundrette and cafeteria on top for free that also dishes him out money on demand with no comeback. Time to burst his bubble before it gets out of hand.

There are jobs out there....tens of thousands of them. There is no excuse to be unemployed. OK, you might not get the job you wanted but with the national minimum wage he's going to be on the thick end of £200 a week which after tax should leave him with about £170...plenty to fund himself.

I would also start charging him rent. £50 a week is a good starting point. Don't listen to any protestations about that being most of his dole money and leaving him with a fiver. Point out that dole money is set at a level to provide the basic living necessities soin fact you're doing him a favour leaving him a fiver. Tell him that if he doesn't like it then he knows the answer...get a job.

You're going to have to be hard and stick to your guns on this one.

Best of luck.