The Ultimate Incentive muddles along

Birdie85 · 28 June 2016 at 9:30AM

Yeah, I don't blame you for feeling like you want to live in the wizarding world right now!!

I feel like we all need to wake up from some very strange dream where the world has turned all wibbly wobbly! :eek:

Have you got plans to see The Cursed Child? I don't know what's wrong with me but I don't have much desire to see it...

Also, just saying, but if you've got someone to go with you can get 10/11 nights in Orlando (flights and hotel that we're staying at, so within spitting distance of the parks) next May for less than £1k a head... hello HP World!! :cool:

archersluck · 28 June 2016 at 9:09PM

I'm seeing the cursed child in December, it was my birthday present from last December - looooong time coming!

The country is indeed very weird right now, I was so disappointed when I woke up on Friday. I feel I've spent the last few days just watching the bbc news website live updates, so much going on. Added fun of being in Scotland so biding time until the 3rd ruddy referendum, going to be an interesting few years.

Great news about NIMs job

Tete_en_l'Air · 28 June 2016 at 9:58PM

Birdie85 wrote: »

Have you got plans to see The Cursed Child? I don't know what's wrong with me but I don't have much desire to see it...

Vague ones but it's just completely booked up forever. Hopefully we might be able to organise something around my birthday in Feb.

Yep same here, I've spent the last few days glued to news/twitter and it's making me anxious! Tonight I ventured into the shed (brick outhouse) to clear it out as I had a builder coming tomorrow cos the roof is leaking, but now he's ill and can't make it and I'm covered in cobwebs for nothing.

BUT, I have sold the car! Luckily/unluckily my cousin's car conked out so she came for a test drive and loved it, so that's a massive job crossed off my list, with none of the hassle. Waiting seven months has totally paid off

Cinny91 · 29 June 2016 at 7:47AM

Congrats to NIM for landing the job! Hope you manage to find a good car without having to add too much to the debt

It's been a very odd week! I've had the news on pretty much constantly and it's just one wave after another, it's infuriating and fascinating and downright worrisome all at once &#55357;&#56899;

That fell well with the car, Tete! Not like you need anything more on your plate at the moment.

Caved and went to get summer clothes on Monday. I had an hormonal rage last year and cleared my wardrobe out while sad and pregnant :cool: so when I came to get my summer things out I realised they'd all gone :rotfl: been bloody raining since!

ETA: meant to say that's the hotel we were looking at for Florida, Birdie! Bet you can't wait! Be able to drag them to do more shopping if you're not spending on the parks &#55357;&#56846;

roomontheend · 6 July 2016 at 11:45AM

Oh hello everyone, glad to see a nice shiny new thread.

Dinah I am so sorry to hear about NIM and his depression. I can understand how hard it must be living with someone with depression. They are in a dark hole and you can easily be dragged in while you are trying to give them a helping hand out. I was in therapy for about 8 months for CBT due to all the trauma of the teaching job and the awful situation I found myself in. It was a really dark time for a while but feel like I am out the other side and despite saying I would never go back into teaching again I am working part-time on long term supply. I also do a bit of general supply on the other two days at other local schools. As I went thorough the therapy I realised it wasn't my fault and that I hadn't let anyone down. I'm fact they had treated me like **** and made me a scape goat.

It's a gradual process and NIMs new job will help him immensely. The support that you are giving him is commendable. My husband was a rock and I don't know where I would be without him.

Just like you I am very focused in paying down the CCs and meal planning etc. as I will be without pay for over six weeks, until the teachers start to drop like flying in the new term. Hopeful I will get offered something at the current work place.

clearmydebts · 6 July 2016 at 3:13PM

roomontheend wrote: »

Oh hello everyone, glad to see a nice shiny new thread.

Dinah I am so sorry to hear about NIM and his depression. I can understand how hard it must be living with someone with depression. They are in a dark hole and you can easily be dragged in while you are trying to give them a helping hand out. I was in therapy for about 8 months for CBT due to all the trauma of the teaching job and the awful situation I found myself in. It was a really dark time for a while but feel like I am out the other side and despite saying I would never go back into teaching again I am working part-time on long term supply. I also do a bit of general supply on the other two days at other local schools. As I went thorough the therapy I realised it wasn't my fault and that I hadn't let anyone down. I'm fact they had treated me like **** and made me a scape goat.

It's a gradual process and NIMs new job will help him immensely. The support that you are giving him is commendable. My husband was a rock and I don't know where I would be without him.

Just like you I am very focused in paying down the CCs and meal planning etc. as I will be without pay for over six weeks, until the teachers start to drop like flying in the new term. Hopeful I will get offered something at the current work place.

So glad to hear you are out the other side ROTE xxx

Dinah93 · 7 July 2016 at 9:59AM

Still here. Can't seem to make headway again as NIM can't deal with even speaking about money, several of the debts are on cards in his name, which he doesn't know the log on details to, and he won't call up and get new cards sent, or make any decisions about if we should balance transfer etc. I tried to talk to him this morning but he just told me to do whatever, or not do anything, then stormed off. Feeling like I can never beat these debts on my own, because it takes both of us to make enough money and put in enough time to get on top of this thing when there is a young family, house etc. It's exactly as you say ROTE, it drags me down too, but both of us can't just opt out of life because we have kids to take care of, it's driving me mad that nothing gets done, or is done very slowly just down to his moods.

In positive news I got a place on my adult yoga teacher training course, downside is that I've had to pay out the fees. I should be able to teach by the new year though, which will increase my earning capacity dramatically.

I'm feeling really lost right now, there is no point ebaying, doing surveys etc when our debt just keeps growing. I can't see the best way to move forward. We can't cut our outgoings to a point they match the income until we have an income, having a real strop day that this is what it is. Spending the day doing my tax return for last year, as it needs to be done very very soon so I can do our tax credits renewal.

Dinah93 · 7 July 2016 at 11:30AM

Okay, pulled out of my panic a little bit. NIMs new job is due to start Tuesday so we will be on much more solid grounding then. It's just 3 months with under £500 a month coming in has taken a big toll on our credit card. I have this constant knot of anxiety despite knowing we can make all our payments once NIM is in work, and we've not actually missed any to date - we've just borrowed a whole lot more.

So, I need to do what I can do. Big stuff to be working on:
1. Finish my tax return
2. NIMs tax return
3. Get log on details/cards so we actually know what we owe and where, make a list of when it comes off 0%
4. Transfer MBNA balance.
5.
6. Tidy up etsy shop
7. Create Amazon shop
8. Create redbubble shop
9. Upload designs onto shopify
10. Upload designs onto threadless
11. Wrap all ebay parcels and returns on Amazon (bought Grace two used books on Space as she's obsessed, only paid 1p + postage but both have arrived in terrible condition - pages suck together, cover not on book, pen scribbles all over etc)

As always when my head is in a bad place, I got spendy the last few days, bought all my course textbooks and a few more besides, and a replacement blender (ours leaks out of the bottom, but of an issue for something we use a lot) - which actually makes the anxiety about debts worse but I don't seem to be able to think straight sometimes. We also bought the new floor for the kids rooms upstairs, which had to be wood due to the amount Grace is sick, but another big cost.

I know I should breathe a little bit, I've applied for Ben's 2 year old place although don't know if he'll qualify to get the 15 hours free, I'll be earning decent money as a yoga teacher in 6 months and I should be able to grow it, there are a LOT of avenues to pursue for the design stuff which would start to bring in a really decent income if I can just find the time to do it.... but I don't know what yogabugs hours I have for September, or if I'll be offered hours that stack up for me and if I'll have this at all. Which in some ways wouldn't be the worst thing as it doesn't earn me much and I could use that time to feel like I was on top of my home and home earnings again, especially the design work, but on the other hand if I get the hours I've asked for it's guaranteed £100 a week (in term time, when they don't have events on etc etc, so really it works out at around £45 a week when averaged over the entire year, which I'm sure I could make from the design stuff, and is around what I should make per hour as an adult teacher (for hands on teaching time, obviously there is a lot of prep work etc too)

Sorry.... you may get a lot of posts of basically a continuous stream of thought today.

Tete_en_l'Air · 7 July 2016 at 3:14PM

roomontheend wrote: »

In fact they had treated me like **** and made me a scape goat.

Sounds like the SLT on my NQT year ROTE, but luckily for me I had a great HoD who, though he couldn't actually do anything about it, kept reminding me that none of what was going on was my fault, so I was able to come out of it pretty unscathed.

I'm :mad: on your behalf about NIM flouncing off Dinah, so frustrating for you when you're trying to move things along. It's a shame as he'll feel so much better for knowing where you both stand, we always do don't we?

I've got a man coming to give me a quote for new windows tomorrow so I've spring cleaned the whole house and I feel GREAT. It's honestly the first time I've seen the whole of my bedroom floor in over a year. Unfortunately now the kitchen table is covered in piles of paperwork to be chucked/filed (with a sleeping cat on top), so that's a job for in the morning. Once I've got the windows in I can make a start on decorating a bit, making the place a bit more 'me'.

How have the to do lists gone today? I'm assuming you must get postage refunded on the books otherwise there'd be no point in returning them?

roomontheend · 8 July 2016 at 4:00PM

Dinah I am sure that you are very frustrated at the moment. As I said you reach too far into the dark hole you are risking getting dragged in yourself. I know that at the moment it seems that you are on your own with the debts and decision making but believe me it will improve. Just keep him informed on what you are doing and when he is having a good day get him to make decisions. He really wont have the brain power on bad days. It can be exhausting just getting through the day. I personally slept a lot, in the form of cat naps but no real rest at night. I am sure that the new job will be a real ego boost for him, it definitely was for me.

I got very obsessed with paying down the debts, checking balances, meal planning etc. So much so that my husband told me he was worried about it. I told him it was a good thing to be obsessed about and that I needed to concentrate on something other than the situation so to just let me get on with it.

Tete I was the HoD so no support.

The Ultimate Incentive muddles along

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