In need of a fresh start

I have been very silly with money over the past 3 years and I have racked up £11,000+ in debt. :(

I have kept things from my OH which has killed me inside. I have been battling depression which has mostly been caused by this debt.

I am wanting to get my life sorted. I have been on the Step to Change website and started my debt management. Just wanting some advice really on what I need to do next with my debt management. Do I ring my creditors? Or do they?

Thank you for reading.

Comments

  • National_Debtline
    National_Debtline Posts: 7,998
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Organisation Representative
    Hi emilal

    Welcome to MSE and well done on taking your first steps to deal with your debts. It’s amazing how much better that can start to make you feel about things. If you enter into a debt management plan (DMP) with Stepchange they will contact all your creditors on your behalf.

    Have you spoken to Stepchange yet? They will advise you on how long it will take to get the ball rolling and what you need to do in the meantime. One thing they will advise you to do is make sure you are banking somewhere you have no debts. That will be your safe bank account where you can have your income paid into. None of your creditors can touch that money.

    You can send all your creditors a hold action letter to start off with https://www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/sampleletters/Pages/Hold-action-on-your-account-%28sole-name%29.aspx. It will ask them to hold action for 30 days and give you chance to get things arranged for your DMP. Good luck with everything.

    Susie
    @natdebtline
    We work as money advisers for National Debtline and have specific permission from MSE to post to try to help those in debt. Read more information on National Debtline in MSE's Debt Problems: What to do and where to get help guide. If you find you're struggling with debt and need further help try our online advice tool My Money Steps
  • Anno88
    Anno88 Posts: 17
    First Anniversary
    Forumite
    You can do it !


    I have been there, in terms of the secret debt, and I know the extreme pressure and fear to be in that situation. Having come out the other side though - I can tell you : Don't give up hope!!


    There will be lots of good advice, no doubt, from more seasoned DFW'S, but , in the meantime, do a systematic log of all that's outstanding and investigate how much / any you get get onto Balance Transfers, to reduce interest payments as a possible option.


    Make a definite list of all your expenses / outgoings so you know your monthly commitment.
    Cover essential items, eg food, council tax, as a priority.


    Take deep breaths all through this and keep in mind : It will pass, and you will come out the other end...


    .... a more disciplined and definitely more wiser, money manager!
  • kb_soma
    kb_soma Posts: 270
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Forumite
    Welcome! Congratulations on getting this far. Recognising and taking the first steps to clearing your debt is huge. Welcome to your debt free journey. I'm also speaking from the other side of the debt, but can't thank stepchange enough,they held my hand every step of the way.

    Head to here: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5623951 and say hi, you'll find so much valuable advice on dmps.
    LBM: NOVEMBER 2011 || debt free date:30/06/15 || The Fighting Debt Army: #442 || Frugal Living Challenge 2018 || January 2018 Grocery £1.22/£100 ||
  • MEM62
    MEM62 Posts: 4,704
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Forumite
    Well done on facing up to the issue and addressing it. One thought I would like to add is that you will need to tell you OH and sooner is better than later. It is likely they will find out at some point and it is going to be much better coming from you voluntarily.
  • Anno88
    Anno88 Posts: 17
    First Anniversary
    Forumite
    ...also ... it may be that your debt developed as a side effect of ''separate finances ''.... particularly if you are managing a young family, and your OH makes it difficult to ask for money, whilst still not setting up any kind of joint family budget with both your incomes .... you can be cleverly ''set up'' for debt by your OH, whilst they maintain a holier-than -thou attitude on a much larger income than you have .




    Just a thought - you may not be as much to blame as you think you are. Often grabbing at the guilt is symptomatic of the more generous partner.
  • owen_money
    owen_money Posts: 764 Forumite
    Good luck, I did it, £42k, paid off debt free since 2012, just keep plugging away, it will come to an end if you keep up the payments. In the end it gave me a better out look on my fiances and I'm in a much better place. All the best to you, you can do it
    One man's folly is another man's wife. Helen Roland (1876 - 1950)
  • owen_money
    owen_money Posts: 764 Forumite
    Better to tell OH, mine found out by 'accident' but was better when out in the open. She understood and helped us cut down. Paid it all off 6 years early and have never been in a better place. No MH issues as such but it made me ill. Discussing with 'she who has to be obeyed' made it easier, but wasnt nice to start with, sometimes you dont know how much your OH really loves you. Hope it works out for you, thinking of you
    One man's folly is another man's wife. Helen Roland (1876 - 1950)
  • MrDouglas
    MrDouglas Posts: 19 Forumite
    I find in these situations it really helps to write things down, prioritise everything and target a few debts/life changes at one time... it can otherwise steam roll into a huge monster and is more difficult to deal with. Good Luck.

    Doug
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