I don't think it gets much worse than this. Feel totally beaten

1678911

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  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
    Hi, the tax debt is in on a payment plan so there is no interest. It relates to tax from a few years ago
  • Wimbrel
    Wimbrel Posts: 70
    First Anniversary First Post PPI Party Pooper
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    edited 2 March 2017 at 9:11PM
    Just popping in to offer congratulations and support. As you can see from my sig, been there, done that, got the T shirt and I cannot believe the peace of mind which comes from getting in control and watching those numbers come down.

    One tip, if you haven't already done so, do check PPI, I would have sworn that I didn't have any but made a few calls, filled in a few forms and found that between my partner and I we had had a couple of insurances added ti loans an on which we could never have claimed ( he was self employed, my work terms and conditions meant that the insurance wouldn't pay out, Not huge payouts but they wiped a very satisfying chunk off the debt,

    Actually two tips. I started saving £2 and 20p coins in little pots, had a count up at the weekend and there's over £200 in there! These things are painless and really give a boost!

    As you'll see we still have some debt on paper but savings would more than cover it however since the debt is at 0% and I have become addicted to saving I'm happy to postpone our official debt free day and keep paying monthly chunks to clear the last bit off over a few more months,

    And if you'd told me on the day when I finally took a deep breath and worked out what we owed that a few years of really buckling down to it would have changed my life and outlook so radically for the better I really wouldn't have believed it possible,
  • ZarZar1990
    ZarZar1990 Posts: 292 Forumite
    Wimbrel wrote: »
    Actually two tips. I started saving £2 and 20p coins in little pots, had a count up at the weekend and there's over £200 in there! These things are painless and really give a boost!

    I can vouch for this so much- we use a pot that you have to break into (either smash or use a tin opener), and me and my OH joke it's the only way we've ever successfully saved any money :rotfl:

    Good luck, sounds like you've made a great start :beer:
    Personal Loan: Start: £22020:eek: Now: £18800 :j

    Credit Card: £600

    Overdraft: £500
  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
    Just sat and read through the whole of my thread. I can't believe that its been 5 weeks since I first posted. I would say that the last 5 weeks have been probably the most difficult weeks I have ever had. In some ways they have also been really positive as it has enabled us to start to deal with a problem that had been building for many years.

    One of the best things has been the improved communication between my wife and I. I no longer feel like the debt is elephant in the room. For years I have worried that my wife would react badly if she knew the full extent of our debt, and actually she has dealt with it far better than me! Just yesterday she told me that she wasn't at all bothered about the total balance as she knew that we could sort it and that if it took a bit longer than planned, then so be it. I really can't ask for any more support than that.

    I have also discovered a couple of other debts - she has a few store card accounts and a small overdraft. I have decided not to include these in my figures for now. I have just got my head in a good place so my wife will sort out these additional debts.

    Since the start of this thread I have lost around a stone in weight, due to stress, worry and shame of the debt that I am in. I have had to take some time off work as I felt so awful. I am taking anti-depressants every day and have been referred for counselling. I never imagined that I would react so badly to what is a self inflicted situation. My main focus for the next 6 months is to stick to budget, clear around 10K of debt, but also to be a bot kinder to myself and get my health back on track.

    One of the things that I struggled with was the thought of "what would everyone think if they knew". I still struggle with this to some extent. I worry that my friends who aren't in debt would judge me and view me differently. I spoke to an online counsellolr regarding these feelings and she asked me why I felt people had the right to know. My dad, sister and a close colleague know about the debt I gave rough figures) and none of them were particularly shocked or interested. They were more bothered about the state I was in. I have also found out that some people who I assumed were debt free actually have significant debts of their own.

    I am so very grateful for this site and for everyone who has posted and supported me. It really has seen me through a very black period.
  • moneyfacts
    moneyfacts Posts: 67 Forumite
    You have come such a long way. Without doubt, you should feel a sense of achievement.

    But of course the money saving journey is never ending. Don't ever stop thinking of ways to save money and make the odd additional payment
  • Suffolk_lass
    Suffolk_lass Posts: 9,306
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    Well said, money facts, and well done worriedDan. Facing the scale of things is so important.

    When my husband and I first got together we jointly owed four times as much as his mortgage (£80k and £20k). We cleared the £80k over a four year period but for reasons known only to ourselves, (smug sort of complacency really) we stopped before clearing the mortgage. I felt really ashamed of our spending but on one level we did not really address this for another twenty years as we carried on being absurdly reckless. Only now, within sight of retirement, have we really got a bit of a grip. If you can keep going, you will really benefit, and you really will feel better.

    An amazing number of people who you think are quite competent have no financial sense at all so don't be thinking it is only you and the people you know! If you want to feel better, watch "Shop well for less" - I promise you will!
    Save £12k in 2024 - #2 target is £5000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2024 16.02% spent or £480.73/£3,000 annual
    I also Reverse Meal Plan on that thread and grow much of our own premium price fruit and veg, joining in on the Grow your own thread
    My Debt Free Diary Get a grip Woman
  • worriedDan
    worriedDan Posts: 262 Forumite
    I have watched it and you're right, overspending is a problem for so many of us. I dread to think how bad our situation could have become had I not had my LBM! At least we are still at the stage where we can claw it back a bit. I desperately want to get the debts into the 40k's asap. There is something about owing more than 50k that makes me panic.
  • Puddylove
    Puddylove Posts: 507
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    worriedDan wrote: »
    I have watched it and you're right, overspending is a problem for so many of us. I dread to think how bad our situation could have become had I not had my LBM! At least we are still at the stage where we can claw it back a bit. I desperately want to get the debts into the 40k's asap. There is something about owing more than 50k that makes me panic.

    Hi Dan
    NOTHING is more important than your health, and being with those you love. Debt is nothing in comparison. The sun will still rise in the morning, the tides will still ebb and flow.

    You need to start valuing your health, and stop obsessing about debt.
  • GoodSon
    GoodSon Posts: 21 Forumite
    Puddylove wrote: »
    Hi Dan
    NOTHING is more important than your health, and being with those you love. Debt is nothing in comparison. The sun will still rise in the morning, the tides will still ebb and flow.

    You need to start valuing your health, and stop obsessing about debt.

    ^^^
    This.
    Also remember that we all have bad days and so far you have a 100% record of getting through them.
    Keep it up.
  • Suffolk_lass
    Suffolk_lass Posts: 9,306
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
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    edited 20 March 2017 at 4:11PM
    Puddylove wrote: »
    Hi Dan
    NOTHING is more important than your health, and being with those you love. Debt is nothing in comparison. The sun will still rise in the morning, the tides will still ebb and flow.

    You need to start valuing your health, and stop obsessing about debt.

    I absolutely agree. Your health is paramount. Any of my suggestions are intended to be ways to help you manage those stress peaks - I am not telling you you must get a grip. You have faced the worst demon of all, everything else is a positive step away.
    worriedDan wrote: »
    I have watched it and you're right, overspending is a problem for so many of us. I dread to think how bad our situation could have become had I not had my LBM! At least we are still at the stage where we can claw it back a bit. I desperately want to get the debts into the 40k's asap. There is something about owing more than 50k that makes me panic.

    I do understand your panic. My tip for addressing it is to log in to our bank accounts at least twice a week (once after payments have gone, and once after the weekend to see things clear) and I sweep all the odd bits into an instant saver account to build up our £10k emergency cash fund. I have been doing this since July and have saved over £6,000 since then in this way. For me, it helps to reduce the sometimes overwhelming sensation that I have left it too late and bogged up our finances.

    It is often worse at this stage of the month (I get paid on the last working day) - where I have "tidied" our accounts to the bone and we still have almost two working weeks to go. I am freezer and cupboard diving and using only cash this week and next, to stop me being stupid. I know you are not at that point (and neither am I, if I cut myself some slack) but it is a good discipline for me so I do it.
    Save £12k in 2024 - #2 target is £5000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2024 16.02% spent or £480.73/£3,000 annual
    I also Reverse Meal Plan on that thread and grow much of our own premium price fruit and veg, joining in on the Grow your own thread
    My Debt Free Diary Get a grip Woman
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