I need some help please
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Newtothis1
Posts: 3 Newbie
I'm new to all this and looking for some help basically. I have a child who is 10 and sees their dad every weekend. He pays me between 100- 120 a month and works as a delivery driver. I've asked him in the past to prove how much he earns and he basically shoots me down and says I get enough from him. Our son is 10 and loves his dad. I'm not greedy but I just want to know that I'm getting what my chid is entitled to. I struggle financially and my son does lots of activities and I struggle to clothe him and feed him. I never get to treat him and it is really getting me down and I don't know what to do. I've thought about going to CSA but I'm scared of his dad. I don't want things to get ugly, especially for my boy but I just want what is fair and right for me and my lad. What do people recommend? Thanks.
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Need more info
Is this his only child?
How often does he see the child?
Is he self employed?0 -
It is his only child and he has him Fri and sat every week. Something I'm not happy with as I don't get time with him. I've offered him time during week which he refuses. My partner says it's unfair on both me and my son and my son wants time with me and says that these days. He is self employed, yes.0
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Newtothis1 wrote: »It is his only child and he has him Fri and sat every week.
It's more normal for the non-resident parent to have one or two weekdays one week and alternate weekends.
It's not fair on the resident parent if you get all the school week stuff but don't spend free time with the child.
Why are you scared of your ex? Has there been abuse in the past? If so, has anything been logged with the police?0 -
He has never been violent to me. He is very aggressive, a hot head, bad tempered and got a very short fuse. He often loses it with me over the smallest of things and I am scared of him. He's threatened people in my past and he's been a very violent man and got in lots of fights, though not with people I know. He's not prepared to cooperate in anyway if it doesn't suit him. I've been so reasonable for so long and I've got to the point I'm fed up. I miss my child and I feel he's taking me for a ride financially speaking also. He has a go at the way I dress my son and all I do is try my best on what he gives me. My son does rugby, goes to swimming lessons, plays an instrument at school and has to go breakfast club as I work. That in total comes to over 100 a month. Them we talk feeding and clothing him. I'm not a person who would ever want to get as much out of a person as possible - he's been given me 80 from the age of 2 then went to 100 from 5 then from then it's been 100 to 120 sometimes and my child is 10. His dad wears designer gear. Jeans at 95 quid and I shop at asda! All my money goes on trying to treat my child and get him and my step son nice clothing as they are at the age they don't quite like asda clothes because boys says its not cool, bless.0
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I have an ex like this. They are hard work, but the more you back down and let them control things, the more they will try on, and the more unhappy you will become. The best way to protect yourself and your son, is to stand up for yourself.
The problem you have is proving his income. A self employed person can easily claim they are earning very little to the CSA. Do you have any idea what he's earning? The CSA award is about 15% of income, so if he's paying you £100-£120 a month, he must be earning very little, £16/17k ish.0 -
The CSA doesn't exist anymore I think but you can go through the CMS, which I would recommend. You don't have to prove his earnings - not everyone is dishonest enough to lie to the CMS. If it comes back with an unrealistic figure then you can ask for a variation which will cost you about £800 but will be worth it if he's been hugely dishonest. They will liaise with HM Revenue and Customs to see a realistic figure of his earnings. If you still think he is being dishonest, and prove that his lifestyle is not compatible with the amount he is earning then tell the HM Revenue and they will investigate him too.
With regard to access, your son is entitled to spend both quality time with you and his father. Be warned though, once he is in secondary school, he will pretty much be able to decide for himself how much times he spends with his dad.
Finally, you say he gets angry. He's not angry, he just wants to intimidate you into not going through the legal channels because if you do, it will cost him more money. Have absolutely minimal contact with him and only speak about your son when you do.Overactively underachieving for almost half a century0 -
The CSA doesn't exist anymore I think but you can go through the CMS, which I would recommend. You don't have to prove his earnings - not everyone is dishonest enough to lie to the CMS. If it comes back with an unrealistic figure then you can ask for a variation which will cost you about £800 but will be worth it if he's been hugely dishonest. They will liaise with HM Revenue and Customs to see a realistic figure of his earnings. If you still think he is being dishonest, and prove that his lifestyle is not compatible with the amount he is earning then tell the HM Revenue and they will investigate him too.
CMS get the income figure directly from HMRC in the first place. If someone is self-employed, this will be the figure they or their accounted submitted on their self-assessment tax return.
The only times CMS don't use a figure from HMRC is if one isn't returned, or either parent has reported the income figure has changed by more than 25% and suitable evidence has been provided by the paying parent or their employer/accountant to prove this.
Neither the CSA or CMS have ever charged for variations. I'm not sure where the above poster has got a cost of £800 from - perhaps confusion with a court order variation?
However, variations can only be applied for on specific grounds, and lifestyle inconsistent with income declared is not a ground available with CMS.
That leaves you with the unearned income ground, which is to take account of income declared to HMRC for dividends, interest on savings, profits on rental income, etc, or the diversion of income ground. For diversion, the person has to be able to control the amount of income they pay themselves, you're aware they have done something with the profits other than pay themselves and that act is unreasonable in the circumstances.
The government's consultation papers before CMS was introduced were very clear about the intent that CMS would predominantly use income figures held by HMRC to calculate maintenance, rather than determine income itself. This means it's now a lot harder to challenge the income figure used.
While you can report someone to HMRC to investigate for tax evasion, they do not investigate every report. The quality of the information you give will determine the likelihood of them investigating.I often use a tablet to post, so sometimes my posts will have random letters inserted, or entirely the wrong word if autocorrect is trying to wind me up. Hopefully you'll still know what I mean.0 -
I'm fairly confident that the information given in my post is accurate. Good luck anyway, OP.Overactively underachieving for almost half a century0
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Perhaps you can provide a link to evidence the fact CMS charge £800 for a variation application?I often use a tablet to post, so sometimes my posts will have random letters inserted, or entirely the wrong word if autocorrect is trying to wind me up. Hopefully you'll still know what I mean.0
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