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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 2,963Posts
    • 13,192Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 80
    • crunch_time
    • By crunch_time 21st Sep 17, 11:53 AM
    • 975 Posts
    • 2,487 Thanks
    crunch_time
    I was very anti marriage before I got pregnant. Didn't see the point as we had been together for 8 years and we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. When we started trying for baby number one we had a 'I guess we should get married then' chat. There was no romantic proposal. We bought a ring that I chose (I'm type A too and besides he has no idea what he is doing when it comes to presents). We got married when I was 5 months pregnant in Mauritius, just us and no guests. We didn't want a big show and it was the best thing we have done and totally us. I spent more time in my bikini that day than my wedding dress!!

    Being married is better than I had imagined but I felt very committed anyway before the wedding. I joke with the husband that I never had the big proposal but it means more to me that he chose me and is my team mate for life.

    I'm very glad I didn't get into debt over a wedding or had to save for years and years. And also surprised how I changed my mind about stuff as I was one of those girls who planned my wedding as I grew up.

    He might feel different after the baby is here as it's hard for men when their partner is pregnant to feel part of it. Maybe he'll feel more 'romantic.

    I know a few girlfriends who have made themselves very miserable waiting for their other halves to propose. I'm not at all suggesting this is you but I know for me it was about being happy in the moment and day to day. I got on with life and chose happiness.

    Sorry if this is a it garbled - I have my two year old chatting at me at the same time and refusing to nap!!! I guess my point is I'm sure things will change once the baby is here and marriage/partnership is more than proposals and weddings. In a real roundabout way.

    Getting excited for New Zealand?

    Crunchy xx
    LBM June 2014. Original debt £23,555 vs Now £0 Paid off in April 2017. Since then lost my way a bit and then decided to move house and start a new course...
    NEW LBM: 16/9/17 NEW DEBT: £7232 Now: £6963 Paid off £269
    Dog/New House savings £550 Long term savings (finally) £1140
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 21st Sep 17, 12:26 PM
    • 2,963 Posts
    • 13,192 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    It made perfect sense crunchy, if it wasn't for my grandparents being too ill to fly long haul and being desperately important to have there, we would go and get married on a beach - one thing we both agree on. I do think the actual wedding is a big part of his worry - he's not a centre of attention type person, not that I am but the important people would have to be there .

    I think my Grandparents have instilled their traditional-ness in me, it's important to me to have that commitment but more important is that we are both 100% there for donut. There are times when it really niggles at me and I feel he is being very selfish and not taking my feelings into account, but most of the time I'm fine with it - we are happy, we love our house and each other so I'm content. It would just be a very lovely bonus if he wanted to make that commitment.

    I think once donut is here and the whole surname question is actually real, he will be more inclined, it's all still very abstract for him at the moment, which I'm sure is normal - it's me getting the boob growth, tummy bloating and sickness, he's just watching on with amusement when I can't get my jeans done up

    I can't wait to get away from work, but my mind is concentrated solely on Mondays scan - once that is done, I will be packing and getting generally overexcited I can't wait to see his parents, I'm way more excited about that than OH

    I bet you can't wait to get moved in to your new place - it won't be long now! x
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16231.98/14,539.71
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 21st Sep 17, 1:13 PM
    • 4,251 Posts
    • 7,683 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Exciting stuff to come, scan on Monday and NZ in a few weeks time and so close to becoming clear of debt.

    I know you are on top of all this stuff KP but I told my daughter when she was expecting her first baby try and live off the income you will get on maternity leave and save the rest as a cushion in the six months or so until you go off. That way you know you wont have to resort to debt to get you through the months of reduced income.

    Re your OH and proposals if he is anything like my DH he will not take kindly to being told when to propose by either you, parents or grandparents so I would try and relax and focus on your new baby. My husband and I were together almost four years before he proposed and I had almost given up on him asking and quietly resolved if after 5 years we were not moving forward then I would have to think about whether I could still see my future with him. Bear in mind we had no house together or baby at that time and were still in early twenties so looking back now I cannot believe I was in such a rush. One New Years Eve he proposed with a ring already bought. We were living together in 3 months time and married in 6 months. Things can move quickly all of a sudden and all that matters is you are all happy and healthy.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 21st Sep 17, 3:33 PM
    • 2,963 Posts
    • 13,192 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks ES! I've got quite a thorough budget for mat leave, and I've built up quite a nice savings fund for mat leave and baby so we are focusing on adding to savings and making mortgage OPs at the moment

    You talk a lot of sense about the marriage thing. OH and I are very different people, and I know we will get there in the end, he just needs a bit more time than me I suppose. If we were to get engaged before donut arrives, I might rethink the surname but as it is that's one thing I'm set on if he is not willing to get married, I'm not willing to compromise on the last name.
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16231.98/14,539.71
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 21st Sep 17, 10:02 PM
    • 3,750 Posts
    • 10,665 Thanks
    abba1772
    I was anti marriage before I met my hubby after I had a horrible divorce from my childhood sweetheart (married at 18) swore off marriage and any more kids was honest with hubby from the start that I didn't want any of that...............well look how that turned out we got married and we had Kk lol xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £5604.33
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £4116.93 / £6000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 22nd Sep 17, 9:42 AM
    • 2,963 Posts
    • 13,192 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    You'll have to let me know the secret to changing his mind then abba

    Payday yesterday wasn't as exciting as normal with my sicktime, it's so stressful trying to add to savings and then having to take it back out to balance the budget with my reduced income.

    We have managed to stay under budget on a few categories last month so made another mortgage OP this morning of £45, I'm definitely closer to being on track still need to make an extra £75 OP this month to make my target of £2000 by mortgage anniversary but we will get there. Going to list some more items on the bay and hopefully that will help

    Going to a baby show in Manchester tomorrow, it was going to be me, OH, my mom and my Nan but there is now talk of my Dad and Grandad coming too. Much to my grandads disgust - in his words, I love you K but I'm not doing that he can find a man shop (his code for pub) I'm sure I've made a list of what I want to check prices on, and the best price I can find everything for at the moment so I don't get carried away and make sure I get a bargain if I do buy anything
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16231.98/14,539.71
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 22nd Sep 17, 12:14 PM
    • 3,750 Posts
    • 10,665 Thanks
    abba1772
    I don't know what happened tbh after dating for 6 weeks he surprised me with a proposal I just looked at him like he was crazy but I somehow found my self saying yes then 5 months are dating we found out we were expecting Kk to say it was a whirlwind isn't a lie and 5 years down the line we are still extremely happy xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £5604.33
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £4116.93 / £6000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 22nd Sep 17, 12:58 PM
    • 2,963 Posts
    • 13,192 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I guess it's true when they say that when you know, you know! x
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16231.98/14,539.71
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