Doing it on my own: bobobski's house deposit diary

Hi gang

A bit of a mixed one this week. I'm still in-budget, but have used up a lot of the budget. I spent £100+ in Tesco yesterday as lots of thing like toothpaste and soap were discounted so I thought I'd top up - that leaves me with £175 for the rest of the month. And another night out on Friday cost even more than the weekly shop, leaving me with £30 in that category for the rest of the month - just enough for two takeaways?? Anyway, I'll be good for the rest of the month :A

I'm going on a short holiday at the end of the month with a few friends. The good thing is I have budgeted for it. Our flights cost £30 each (already paid for), and with travel to/from airports at either end we reckon it'll be £70 total travel. We need to book accommodation but it's looking to be about £100 each. And I've budgeted £300, so that should leave me with about £160 for the three days for food, going out stuff etc. Should be do-able

Onto the usual bobobski life drama... So I've made a pretty big mistake that has unintentionally hurt someone. The someone isn't really my friend, but is very important to a friend of mine, and that friend has also hurt the someone. Now, I generally do not regret things because I believe you should live and learn and not wish you could go back in time, but this time I actually do regret it. I should have known this person would be upset, and I never wanted that. Anyway, I was beating myself up pretty hard about it yesterday when I discussed it with a good friend of mine (who is usually a harsh judge of other peoples ethics) and she thinks I'm not the one in the wrong here. I have to say I think I agree. It's a really weird position to be in, but although I shouldn't have done something that I knew would upset someone, I still wasn't morally wrong to do so. I have had experiences in the past where I tried and failed to apologise to people who didn't want to hear it, and this time the someone has asked me never to contact them again, so I won't even try to apologise. If my connection with the someone began and ended with them I don't think I'd be too bothered. But there are mutual friends involved and it's now all messy. Hrm. Think I'll discuss it with friends at work this week (also harsh judges of ethics) and see what they think.

Does it make me a really bad person if I think I'm not in the wrong, even though I know my actions upset someone? The even weirder thing is, as I said, the someone and I aren't even friends, so I'm not sure why they put me in the position where I could hurt them - I should have had no effect on their life. Very strange :think:

Thanks SYA, it's a rubbish situation but you're right - if I can't go back and change it and I can't apologise, what else can I do? I am sorry this person was upset due to my actions, but for now I'm going to stay away from the mutual friends to give this person some distance - it's all I can do really.

The first weekend of the month really should be called "stock up weekend" or something - I think we're so used to being frugal at the end of the month that we think at the beginning of the month we have to stock up for winter :rotfl: It's fine though, spending doesn't need to be linear

Thanks, I'm really looking forward to the holiday

Thanks SW - I've just cleaned my entire living room top to bottom and literally cleared away the cobwebs. I am pooped! But while I was cleaning I was thinking about what you said; although you know nothing of the situation, you absolutely hit the nail on the head when you called it "inevitable". You can never predict when these things will happen, but sometimes it's clear for years before that the thing will happen at some point. This is one of those situations, and I don't think that's my fault. The "someone" never liked me and always treated me differently, which is what I mean about putting me in a situation where I could hurt them. So although I've not always behaved as well as I would like, I think the whole thing starts with them never liking me in the first place, and I have no idea why that is, meaning that anyone else could have done the same thing as me and it wouldn't have hurt them (indeed, that has happened many times), but because it was me it was inherently hurtful. But yes absolutely agree - surround yourself only with people you're willing to share cake with, and all will be well

I have a friend coming over in a little bit and really need to eat and shower before he turns up. This cleaning malarky is hard work! Very glad I've made a dent though, although I really wanted to get the kitchen done today too... Way too tired now though!

Hello all

Just a quick mid-week post to say I'm ill again This one has really knocked me for six - I'm so congested I can barely breathe! I'm listening to my body though, taking time off work and eating/drinking whatever my body craves. Last night that meant McDonald's (£5.37) and today a round of healthy stuff at Sainsbury's like chicken soup and orange juice (total £13.25 including Lemsip). If I go over-budget for the month due to looking after myself, I think I'll be able to forgive myself

Hope everyone's feeling better than me! I'm off to lie back down on the sofa - sitting up is haaaard x