Relationship breakdown - 3 children currently in US but want to bring them back to UK

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  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367 Forumite
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    And who will drive their 3 kids to 3 different schools, up to an hour away, and their after school clubs, and who will look after them in the school holidays, HB disappears into the city for interviews and meetings most days.
    This makes me wonder if she is indeed totally honest because this issue can only be an excuse. She will be no different to every other working mother in her town. Or she implying that every mum is a SAHM? I very much doubt it!
  • KxMx
    KxMx Posts: 10,605 Forumite
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    edited 16 May 2017 at 5:17PM
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    FBaby wrote: »
    The issue is not her intention to come back to the UK. This seems a totally reasonable decision considering the situation and who would argue with her? The issue is that she is planning to do this under a massive lie that she is only going, and taking her kids, on a holiday. This is pure deception and totally unfair.

    Saying that, maybe she is not being totally honest with you, maybe the situation is not as critical as she claims, but is saying so to get the support to do what she wants to do rather than what she has to do.

    Also legally standing kidnap, her husband would be entitled to bring charges, which then may lead to the mother being arrested, kids needing to attend family court etc.

    Afraid I speak from experience, very similar situation, different circumstances.

    In my case, when I was 10, I didn't know the real reason we left US but was given the option to return after we'd arrived, Dad did know beforehand but brought kidnap charges anyway (with encouragement of grandparents).

    It was a very difficult time for all involved and there were long reaching consequences.

    I do not place any blame on my mother on my own situation, but do not endorse how your friend is considering doing this.
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    If they plan to stay in the UK permanently and no longer have an address or any commitments or 'life' in the US then I think they will be classed as resident in the UK straightaway.

    This is not the case.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    FBaby wrote: »
    This makes me wonder if she is indeed totally honest because this issue can only be an excuse. She will be no different to every other working mother in her town. Or she implying that every mum is a SAHM? I very much doubt it!

    In the ex-pat localities at the standard it would appear that OP's friends live, the moms would all be SAHM (dependants of greencard holders aren't allowed to take paid employment) who do helicopter the kids around (playdates, after school clubs etc etc etc. Though there is school transport for all kids - from nursery through high school - and they start early (7.30am).
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    So her ill family members can afford to pay her NHS care if she doesn't take out health insurance? Does she realise that in the UK if you are not insured health trusts can charge private prices rather than NHS.
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    goochie wrote: »
    Thank you I will send her these links

    The NHS and access is about residency, when they have lived and worked here for a year, until then they will be considered over seas visitors and can only access emergency care and treatment for highly infectious diseases. So some rather hefty health insurance will need to be in place.
  • Jojo_the_Tightfisted
    Jojo_the_Tightfisted Posts: 27,228 Forumite
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    goochie wrote: »
    And who will drive their 3 kids to 3 different schools, up to an hour away, and their after school clubs, and who will look after them in the school holidays, HB disappears into the city for interviews and meetings most days. And she hasn't worked for 15 years, it is a lot easier said than done, she has more chance of old contacts in London possibly offering her freelance work but again, can't really get that ball rolling until the decision is made where they are going to live at the end of the summer.

    Don't they break up for summer soon? Are the clubs free? Do American kids not need to access childcare? 14 year olds are capable of making sure 10 year olds don't burn the house down if all else fails.

    If she ends up back here expecting to not have to go to work but eventually receive benefits, she's going to have a shock. She could be working 40hrs per week for her benefits if they decide to send her for mandatory work activity. There will not be any 'oh, you have to look after the children' exceptions.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll :D
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
    edited 16 May 2017 at 6:37PM
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    GwylimT wrote: »
    This is not the case.

    "A British citizen who has been living abroad, or who is migrating to the UK for the first time, can therefore pass the ordinary residence test upon taking up settled residence here."

    "For a British citizen, an EEA national and for a non EEA national with ILR or a non-EEA national not subject to immigration control, it is perfectly possible to be ordinarily resident here from the day of arrival, when it is clear that that person has, upon arrival, taken up settled residence. "

    https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/496967/lawfully-resident-uk.pdf
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    "A British citizen who has been living abroad, or who is migrating to the UK for the first time, can therefore pass the ordinary residence test upon taking up settled residence here."

    "For a British citizen, an EEA national and for a non EEA national with ILR or a non-EEA national not subject to immigration control, it is perfectly possible to be ordinarily resident here from the day of arrival, when it is clear that that person has, upon arrival, taken up settled residence. "

    https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/496967/lawfully-resident-uk.pdf

    Unemployment is not settled residence.
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    GwylimT wrote: »
    Unemployment is not settled residence.

    Nowhere in that document does it say that employment is necessary to be considered ordinarily resident. NHS entitlement has absolutely nothing to do with employment.
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