I want to stop drowning

debtaghh · 12 August 2017 at 8:08AM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Well done for logging it. You are by no means the only one who has that amount of debt and you are trying to do something about it.

When you get home why not post an soa and let us suggest ways of cutting down? Budgeting for entertainment on school holidays makes sense. You have to live when you are on a long hard journey.

A useful exercise is to think of things you think has allowed the debt to get so high. Was there anything specific like cars, holidays or just general overspending over a long period of time? I am guessing that the reason you are struggling is because it has now got to such a level that servicing the debt takes up a large proportion of your income.

Thanks for your reply. I've had trouble putting the official soa on here but could do one myself.

I think about where are debt came from and a lot was living out of our means younger as we had chn young and didn't establish a career and moved out from home quickly. The monthly just gets too much at times and we were then using the cc for basic things like food. On top of that I booked UK expensive holidays that I no way should have done. I have booked a holiday for next year but I changed the one I originally had booked and we are having two smaller trips but saving over £1k , I know we shouldn't be doing anything but I booked these months ago when I was in denial.

[Deleted User] · 12 August 2017 at 8:12AM

Morning lovely,

As others have said, you've no need to feel humiliated, wether your debt is big, medium or small we're all here for the same thing, to help and support each other.

I think you've had you LBM and you're making moves to change things.

debtaghh · 12 August 2017 at 8:16AM

Deleted_User wrote: »

Morning lovely,

As others have said, you've no need to feel humiliated, wether your debt is big, medium or small we're all here for the same thing, to help and support each other.

I think you've had you LBM and you're making moves to change things.

Thank you so much x

enthusiasticsaver · 12 August 2017 at 8:18AM

So, the good things are.

You know your weak spots - holidays and food shopping.

You set a budget for your holiday and you came in under it.

You seem to have suddenly found some motivation to do something about your situation.

When you do the soa, budget for things you know you can't leave out - like holidays. You are on a long journey but there are others on the same journey with debt as high as yours.

Start a savings pot and put in survey money, underspends on groceries etc as when you are struggling with a mountain of debt having an emergency savings pot gives you a lifeline. This can help with car costs etc.

Make a resolve not to use the credit cards or balance transfer unless it is to save interest. In other words no adding to the debt.

Is your family happy to wait for repayments until the credit card debt is gone?

debtaghh · 12 August 2017 at 8:39AM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

So, the good things are.

You know your weak spots - holidays and food shopping.

You set a budget for your holiday and you came in under it.

You seem to have suddenly found some motivation to do something about your situation.

When you do the soa, budget for things you know you can't leave out - like holidays. You are on a long journey but there are others on the same journey with debt as high as yours.

Start a savings pot and put in survey money, underspends on groceries etc as when you are struggling with a mountain of debt having an emergency savings pot gives you a lifeline. This can help with car costs etc.

Make a resolve not to use the credit cards or balance transfer unless it is to save interest. In other words no adding to the debt.

Is your family happy to wait for repayments until the credit card debt is gone?

That's a good idea for a pot so will do that.

My family won't wait for repayments. They don't know the full extent of our debt but know we have some. They are not very supportive and are with the attitude if you don't have it then don't spend it but things aren't always that simple. They did lend us the money or open credit cards for us to benefit from 0%. They have let me not pay them for two months as we have tv licence, content insurance and have just had our brakes sorted but even that I had to beg.

enthusiasticsaver · 12 August 2017 at 1:15PM

How about doing contents insurance and tv licence monthly to make budgeting easier?

debtaghh · 12 August 2017 at 1:24PM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

How about doing contents insurance and tv licence monthly to make budgeting easier?

We struggle with our monthly outgoings so prefer to just pay it outright.

enthusiasticsaver · 12 August 2017 at 1:36PM

debtaghh wrote: »

We struggle with our monthly outgoings so prefer to just pay it outright.

I can understand you not wanting to up your monthly direct debit payments but if you have to skip debt repayments when they fall due (even to your family) your budget needs adjusting. Ideally you would be taking all annual bills adding them together and then dividing by 12 and putting that away in a separate account each month. Otherwise you have the stress of finding one or two large payments sometimes in the same month. Either that or using additional income to set money aside. I would have thought that would be so much less stressful than having to beg your family for a month off paying them back.

debtaghh · 12 August 2017 at 1:38PM

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I can understand you not wanting to up your monthly direct debit payments but if you have to skip debt repayments when they fall due (even to your family) your budget needs adjusting. Ideally you would be taking all annual bills adding them together and then dividing by 12 and putting that away in a separate account each month. Otherwise you have the stress of finding one or two large payments sometimes in the same month. Either that or using additional income to set money aside. I would have thought that would be so much less stressful than having to beg your family for a month off paying them back.

Very true. I'll have to check that I won't be made to pay more to do it monthly.

enthusiasticsaver · 12 August 2017 at 1:51PM

You won't pay more to pay tv licence monthly but I think you have to pay double for first 6 months so you are paying 6 months ahead. If you have just paid it for the year put £12.12 aside each month from now so the £145 is there next August to pay it out. Same goes for insurance. It is a work in progress but after a year or two of doing this it is such a relief to know the money is waiting there to pay out for these larger annual bills. A lot of people, myself included use savings pots for all these things just to stop the robbing Peter to pay Paul mentality. It makes you feel more in control which will help with your anxiety. I would suggest a pot for annual bills, a pot for gifts/Christmas, one for holidays, one for car and an emergency fund which initially can be used for essential house repairs/ white good replacements etc. How you save into it depends on your income so if regular amount each month put a certain amount in each or if irregular income do a different amount each month but keep an eye on when all the bills come out.

I want to stop drowning

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