Money Moral Dilemma: Should we share in sister-in-law's cashback?

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  • Li0nhead
    Li0nhead Posts: 16,922
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    I'd say no because you always have the choice not to buy through her and do it yourself, getting the discounts/cashback/points yourself and building a pot.

    In fact why are you not doing that?
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  • iclayt
    iclayt Posts: 454
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    edited 18 June 2014 at 9:46AM
    How often is this even happening? How many purchases does your sister in law make for you, how often are you eating out etc?

    If we're talking major cashback, as in, she books a holiday for you all through a cashback site and pockets 7% of the value for herself, then perhaps morally she should share that with you. Although you can't make her.

    If we're talking pence generated from using a credit card to pay for a meal out, no, stop being tight.

    Ultimately, she's just being savvy, and we should all try to be a bit savvy these days.

    Don't owe her money and she can't profit from it. Maybe you can't get your own credit card, but if she wants cash (eg. for a meal) after paying on her card, if you have the cash, simply pay your share at the time and let her pay her share on the card.
  • As usual, this "dilemma" is part of the "why am I missing out?" brigade.


    If the OP just does a simple risk/reward calculation here it is easy to see that for the possible; misunderstandings, grief, arguments, future tension etc. etc. that if you are not worse off (you haven't bothered to make your own arrangements so far, so you're not) then it is simply not worth bringing it up, especially as you only suspect an amount is being earned.


    In fact, as recommended above a few times, you should learn from your sister-in-law and then replicate what she is doing in other situations, she's already got your interactions covered so don't tackle her on that, it isn't worth the hassle.


    Caveat; if you already hate her, then crack on and fight for all the 50p's!
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  • Herbalus has it one and I agree totally: if you don't like the arrangement then pick up your own bill and buy your own things.
    donethat also gets my vote and if I may add to it? Either put up and shut up or don't put up, and shut up. Either way, shut up.
    Personally I'd be delighted if someone picked up the bills on time and bought things. It would save me much time, hassle and calendar checking on due payment dates. Earn points and cashback for it? Heck, yes. I'd even pay their travel and phone costs (as long as they remebered to pick up the bill afterwards). I guess it depends on how much you feel your time is worth?
  • Pmarmalade
    Pmarmalade Posts: 175 Forumite
    It amounts to pennies so I wouldn't overthink it.

    It's better that someone is benefiting from it and if you don't use these things then why not let her take advantage of it?

    It's different if you'd prefer to pay by card or if you use cashback sites or reward cards then suggest you take turns.
  • COUGHLAJ
    COUGHLAJ Posts: 5 Forumite
    As she is doing all the work of finding the discounts and remembering to use the sites etc. i think she should keep whatever she makes. Take it from me it can be really time consuming, often for very little reward. If you don't think that is fair, why not just get yourself a cashback credit card or volunteer to pay for things after registering with cashback website. Its not worth getting upset over.
  • janiebquick
    janiebquick Posts: 432
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    If it really bothers you, do as others have suggested and get your own cashback account and points earning credit card.

    That way you might discover that she's not raking it in after all!
    'Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.' George Carlin
  • Not without causing considerable offence. Why not play her at her own game? Get a cashback card yourself and sign up for cashback sites.

    Then when she asks you to give her the cash, say that actually you are collecting cashback, so would she mind if she gave you the cash and you paid by card instead.

    Make sure you have no cash on you at the time, so that you cannot change your mind. The worst that can happen is that you settle your own bills on your own cards.
  • Herbalus
    Herbalus Posts: 2,634
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    edited 18 June 2014 at 12:53PM
    John_Gray wrote: »
    Next time the matter arises, state assertively that you intend to pay the bills this time, and thence every second time. If she objects, she will actually have to say why on every occasion she wants to pay and get refunded in cash. She will thus expose herself as the money-grabbing, make-money-off-her-own-family, devious creature that you strongly suspect her to be.

    (If you feel really strongly about the matter, you could always try to arrange things so that she becomes an ex-sister-in-law?!)

    Harsh much???

    It's not money grabbing. I have cashback cards, but others don't, and I understand the thought process behind asking if you can pay for things. It doesn't cost them any money, but benefits me. That said, I always offer to split the cashback if I do offer to pay for something, which is rare.

    P.S. or were you actually sarcastic? I can't tell.....!
  • essexfan_2
    essexfan_2 Posts: 12 Forumite
    I'd say it depends on whose idea it was to do it and why!
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