Violent special needs/autism teenager help!
Comments
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verysillyguy06 wrote: »Please do.....I have been :wall::wall::wall:
For many of my cases
Every organisation will teach other professionals but not parents
That's very true.
I was talking to someone the other day who expected me to be trained in restraint.Obviously I'm not,I just do what I can safely.Anyone who works with my son has plenty of training before they can start working with him.
I find that pretty bizarre tbh!
Teaching 'calming' is one thing but there are times we do NEED to restrain or move them to a place of safety.It can't be expected of a parent to just sit and take a beating.I don't,I couldn't do that to my son for a start-it doesn't help him,doesn't teach him anything and if he sees any signs of damage he's done to me (blood,bruises,scratches etc) when he's calmer he'll get in a state and attempt to inflict the same injuries on himself
I HAVE to 'restrain' at times or physically help him to somewhere safe or to the floor to calm there's no way I can't.
Parents should be trained in everything to do with dealing with these situations,not just calming.There becomes a point where just calming isn't enough and the situation needs to be safe to work on the calming.
If this poor girl spent two hours hitting her dad over the head I'd guess that nobody intervenes and that really won't help If women are birds and freedom is flight are trapped women Dodos?0 -
The other part is knowing how to react and what to avoid doing.If a parent doesn't know what they should do and are scared they can't take control of the situation and become more fearful.That just makes it even worse.
So wrongIf women are birds and freedom is flight are trapped women Dodos?0 -
Hi guys,
I just left her house after going over there to try and give the parents a break and her a bit of a change. Unfortunately when it came for me to leave she went berserk, she wanted to come out to the car to say goodbye and we don't like that because she touches the car as its moving away.
We managed to lock the door but she started repeatedly slamming it hard with her fists [thankfully not the glass panel], then she gave her Mother a taste of the same, really strong and violent.
The Police have been called and just calmed her down in her room when they tried to leave she wanted to say goodbye to them! Same routine but obviously they can't leave her in the street so they are back in her bedroom now.
We called the emergency duty team her first reaction, 'well! Hasn't anybody thought of calling the Police?! I told her they are there and it's business as usual, get the parents to call when they leave. My Uncle called and was told a report would be sent to the social worker on Monday.
At this point it looks like the Social services push the care plan meeting and temporary measures forward and give us more then they are saying or its voluntary care.
I told the emergency duty team we will tell the school not to bring her back and not open the door if they try. She said that is not in the interest of the child but apparently calling the Police to deal with her and possibly arrest her is?!
They are hypocrites, i told her that we know it is not in the best interests of the child but my uncle has recently had a stroke and is on oxygen and that may be there last and only option! She said we had to think of the child too, what good would it do her if he ends up in hospital?!
They love to put on guilt trip don't they?
Anyway its not looking good, she was tapping me the whole time i was there, occasional violent grasping and swearing if she didn't get her way, constantly asking for food after a huge dinner. When I say 'asking' i actually mean feverishly repeating, tapping and shouting over and over and over.
That is how she communicated EVERYTHING. Trying to get her to sleep was impossible, getting her to shower was a nightmare, trying to leave with the stuff i came with which were suddenly now 'hers' [lots of 'that's mine!' and violent grasping, her grip is insanely powerful, the last time i felt anything like that is when my Grandmother was delirious with Dementia.]
Every question was repeated infinitum with the relevant word shouted. You say no, and she keeps asking and asking and asking. It was always done so violently and the answers just weren't going in at all.
Ironically it was all fine, i could deal with it, but the leaving and having her going berserk was crazy. I could here the door going Boom! Boom! and her Mum getting beaten really hard and i kept thinking i should go back but if i'm the trigger shouldn't i leave ASAP?
I removed myself and called her to tell her i had gone and their was no one outside and to stop hitting things and go to her room. The whole conversation was her behaving feverishly, ignoring what i say and repeatedly shouting the same things, very fast talking, and slamming the door.
Sorry guys i did try. 0 -
Hi guys,
I just left her house after going over there to try and give the parents a break and her a bit of a change. Unfortunately when it came for me to leave she went berserk, she wanted to come out to the car to say goodbye and we don't like that because she touches the car as its moving away.
We managed to lock the door but she started repeatedly slamming it hard with her fists [thankfully not the glass panel], then she gave her Mother a taste of the same, really strong and violent.
The Police have been called and just calmed her down in her room when they tried to leave she wanted to say goodbye to them! Same routine but obviously they can't leave her in the street so they are back in her bedroom now.
We called the emergency duty team her first reaction, 'well! Hasn't anybody thought of calling the Police?! I told her they are there and it's business as usual, get the parents to call when they leave. My Uncle called and was told a report would be sent to the social worker on Monday.
At this point it looks like the Social services push the care plan meeting and temporary measures forward and give us more then they are saying or its voluntary care.
I told the emergency duty team we will tell the school not to bring her back and not open the door if they try. She said that is not in the interest of the child but apparently calling the Police to deal with her and possibly arrest her is?!
They are hypocrites, i told her that we know it is not in the best interests of the child but my uncle has recently had a stroke and is on oxygen and that may be there last and only option! She said we had to think of the child too, what good would it do her if he ends up in hospital?!
They love to put on guilt trip don't they?
Anyway its not looking good, she was tapping me the whole time i was there, occasional violent grasping and swearing if she didn't get her way, constantly asking for food after a huge dinner. When I say 'asking' i actually mean feverishly repeating, tapping and shouting over and over and over.
That is how she communicated EVERYTHING. Trying to get her to sleep was impossible, getting her to shower was a nightmare, trying to leave with the stuff i came with which were suddenly now 'hers' [lots of 'that's mine!' and violent grasping, her grip is insanely powerful, the last time i felt anything like that is when my Grandmother was delirious with Dementia.]
Every question was repeated infinitum with the relevant word shouted. You say no, and she keeps asking and asking and asking. It was always done so violently and the answers just weren't going in at all.
Ironically it was all fine, i could deal with it, but the leaving and having her going berserk was crazy. I could here the door going Boom! Boom! and her Mum getting beaten really hard and i kept thinking i should go back but if i'm the trigger shouldn't i leave ASAP?
I removed myself and called her to tell her i had gone and their was no one outside and to stop hitting things and go to her room. The whole conversation was her behaving feverishly, ignoring what i say and repeatedly shouting the same things, very fast talking, and slamming the door.
Sorry guys i did try.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::(:(:(
All anyone could ask for, kudos to you for trying.
It does sound you have reached a certain path to follow but the decision is with your relatives and yourself.
The reaction appears at first disappointing from the emergency team but I know areas where the other choices are being 'drugged' in hospital or a cell. The sad reality is that there are not many emergency places despite what the public thinks.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation but hope with all my heart that things will get sorted on Monday.
You have tried, my thoughts are with your family, yourself and your niece. You have the right to remain silent.Anything you do say will be misquoted and then used against you
Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.
Bruce Lee0 -
Also give the duty team a ring tomorrow to keep them informed how serious it is and ask for any advice apart from calling the Police.
PS Any worth in calling the emergency doctor for emergency medication ? Or to discuss any other help?
Just try and get through Sunday as best as possible.You have the right to remain silent.Anything you do say will be misquoted and then used against you
Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.
Bruce Lee0 -
verysillyguy06 wrote: »Also give the duty team a ring tomorrow to keep them informed how serious it is and ask for any advice apart from calling the Police.
PS Any worth in calling the emergency doctor for emergency medication ? Or to discuss any other help?
Just try and get through Sunday as best as possible.
Thanks
The Dr has claimed there is nothing he can give her.
I just wonder if this is normal behaviour? They say she changed 2 years ago and became like this [at 12 so onset of adolescence?]. She has become a lot more feverish and less lucid. She will repeat herself until she gets the answer she wants [even that won't stop it just gives you a break and i don't like to do that as it sends mixed signals].
She'll ask if your angry and carry on regardless and its always delivered in this very fast, repetitive script with shouting emphasis on specific words.
We taught her about sharing for example but its like she's caught into some faulty behavioral programming that has erased everything that's been done. So she was grasping hard and trying to claim things that weren't hers. I can only call it 'out of character', which is weird because it has been 2 years and its very strong behaviour. At her home it is at its peak.
But it says in her report started in December the specialist said she has no mental illness.0 -
Does anybody have an idea at all why her anxiety is clearly at such a high level?Poor girl.
I hope something is sorted soon,for your uncles health and (most importantly for me,I'm afraid) for your niece.
I can't believe medication hasn't been looked into properly.
I'd second VSGs suggestion of finding out if emergency medication can be given.
Forget what some bloody GP says,she can be put on antipsychotics!!!If women are birds and freedom is flight are trapped women Dodos?0 -
My sons behaviour increased/became more 'whoosh' upon hitting puberty.
Repetition is pretty normal in autistics as is expecting things to be as they want.Levels vary,there's learning etc.BUT put them in a situation that scares or distresses them and they can take a giant leap backwards.
The way you are describing it gives an image of one who is highly anxious and trying to gain control of her surroundings.Thanks
The Dr has claimed there is nothing he can give her.
I just wonder if this is normal behaviour? They say she changed 2 years ago and became like this [at 12 so onset of adolescence?]. She has become a lot more feverish and less lucid. She will repeat herself until she gets the answer she wants [even that won't stop it just gives you a break and i don't like to do that as it sends mixed signals].
She'll ask if your angry and carry on regardless and its always delivered in this very fast, repetitive script with shouting emphasis on specific words.
We taught her about sharing for example but its like she's caught into some faulty behavioral programming that has erased everything that's been done. So she was grasping hard and trying to claim things that weren't hers. I can only call it 'out of character', which is weird because it has been 2 years and its very strong behaviour. At her home it is at its peak.
But it says in her report started in December the specialist said she has no mental illness.If women are birds and freedom is flight are trapped women Dodos?0 -
Thanks
The Dr has claimed there is nothing he can give her.
I just wonder if this is normal behaviour? They say she changed 2 years ago and became like this [at 12 so onset of adolescence?]. She has become a lot more feverish and less lucid. She will repeat herself until she gets the answer she wants [even that won't stop it just gives you a break and i don't like to do that as it sends mixed signals].
She'll ask if your angry and carry on regardless and its always delivered in this very fast, repetitive script with shouting emphasis on specific words.
We taught her about sharing for example but its like she's caught into some faulty behavioral programming that has erased everything that's been done. So she was grasping hard and trying to claim things that weren't hers. I can only call it 'out of character', which is weird because it has been 2 years and its very strong behaviour. At her home it is at its peak.
But it says in her report started in December the specialist said she has no mental illness.
It is not unusual....onset of puberty the likely cause but who knows? It is often difficult to find a reason....girls , as on every level in society, find puberty more difficult and hitting out at the people she loves most, not rare...as any teenage girl will have more arguments with 'mum'.
There is at times little else to do then trying ones best until hopefully in a few years she will become calmer. Sorry, just being realistic but then there are cases where the young woman will calm down more quickly.
Very hard as parents/relatives to see and deal with....:(
It is very individual but certainly not rare.
Trying to find her better communication methods and physical activities are best for teenagers....
Even if she when calm understands well, when she is in a mood, she may do better with pictures?
Sorry, not being very helpful here:(You have the right to remain silent.Anything you do say will be misquoted and then used against you
Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.
Bruce Lee0 -
Does anybody have an idea at all why her anxiety is clearly at such a high level?Poor girl.
I hope something is sorted soon,for your uncles health and (most importantly for me,I'm afraid) for your niece.
I can't believe medication hasn't been looked into properly.
I'd second VSGs suggestion of finding out if emergency medication can be given.
Forget what some bloody GP says,she can be put on antipsychotics!!!
I don't disagree with you i just don't want my Uncle going into Hospital long term or suddenly dying, despite his wife being his registered carer the reality is he does ALL the administrative stuff for the running of the family.
If they where to lose him it would destroy the family.
I'm not sure why her anxiety is so high, she just freaks out. My uncle and his wife are both gentle natured. They were extremely loving of her and may have spoilt her a bit i fear.
The behaviorist has been working with them for 5 years though and school say she is fine, the house environment is a huge trigger for her. Having said that her Grandmother and the old carer who use to take her have both said they can't cope and that is outside the house.
Won't they think we're terrible/unrealistic for asking for anti-psychotics when there is no medical history?0
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