Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

crazy_cat_lady · 10 December 2016 at 10:19AM

Morning
Thanks Kirsty and Bob - I am trying to keep up with everything but something has to give occasionally and it's me at the moment. I still am pretty tired - ds is sleeping in with dh at the moment and I've had the past 2 nights on the sofa. It's really no big deal - I seem to wake up in the middle of the night every night for a couple of hours anyway. I'm just about to attempt to have a nap on the sofa now I've been up and out for my training session. My eyes are actually sore because they're so tired.
I am ok - just quite emotional due to being so tired. Only one more week of work to survive.

Buffythedebtslayer · 10 December 2016 at 12:38PM

It seems to have been a particularly exhausting term, everyone always says Sept - Dec is the worst term and you spend the rest of the year trying to recover. I am on the sofa. Have to go out to get Mum's prescription and the hay for the animals. Am so tired tho I could just as easily go back to bed.

I too am behind and having a few difficulties with a colleague. My direct line manager is off sick and thus we are being kept an eye by the head. Not pleasant. I have 8 more get ups and so much is going on I barely know my own name.

I am writing all this to remind you you aren't the only one. The job is stupid. It is all unrealistic and mental. In these dark miserable days we forget this and drive ourselves mental trying to get everything done.

Just remember that.It will be done with for a little while and you will get to rest.

Much love Cat XXXX

Buffy X

crazy_cat_lady · 11 December 2016 at 10:30AM

Thanks Buffy
It's so good to know I'm not alone, and that I have somewhere I can rant and not be judged by others. I'm not looking for a solution (which people seem to think I am at work), just somewhere I can rant an be miserable if I want to... It is a manic and completely unrealistic workload and my brain is in complete rebellion at the moment. I lay wide awake from half one until 4am this morning, desperately tired and needing a rest but not able to get to sleep. I've come to the conclusion that I just need to tell people I'm ill. Lots of people I work with don't understand the concept of mental health issues. Well I do - my anxiety is bad at the moment and until I can actually rest then that won't change. So it's not going to change over the next week and I need to get into survival mode. I'm really thankful for the whole week run up to Christmas because that will give me a decent chance to recover.

The house is desperate for some housework but I'm determined not to feel guilty about that today - there are 3 other people in the house, all just as capable as me of doing something... I'm off out for a coffee with the bestie which is just what I think I need today.
Hope everyone is ok - sorry I'm stuck in my own selfish little bubble at the moment. I will be back as I always am.:cool:

crazy_cat_lady · 12 December 2016 at 9:40PM

Hi everyone :hello:
Just a quick check in from me tonight as it's almost my bed time. I've been at work late tonight because it was ds nativity - evening session so no point coming home just to trail all the way back in again. It was lovely and made me feel all festive

Another bit of a nightmare day to be honest - the blimming technician still hasn't come back to work, which is really annoying and means that I'm double planning my lessons at the moment. Really hard to keep the kids interested this close to the end of term without the issue of no practical work :cool:
Still feeling quite anxious and on edge at the moment, although I did sleep better last night. I had a lovely day out with my bestie and a good catch up over a coffee, but I was absolutely exhausted when I got home - I was in bed by 8pm and I'm afraid I cheated a bit for some sleep - I took the migraine meds that the doctor has wanted me to stop taking but really knock me out. I still woke up 3 times during the night, but not for as long as usual. Feel a bit like a drug addict but I was so desperate for some sleep...
Other than that, not much to report. 4 more get ups...

Bobarella · 12 December 2016 at 10:05PM

Cat, you need a rest so badly you poor thing. Everything is linked isn't it. Can't sleep cos your anxious. Anxious cos you can't sleep. I feel so bad for you. I'm glad you got out with your friend though, and hope that made you feel a bit better.

SpekySquarehead · 13 December 2016 at 10:42AM

I agree Bob. The Xmas break can't come quick enough for you and I think it'll do everyone the world of good.

My mum struggles with sleep and she too was scared to rely on pills. There are a lot of herbal things out there that are meant to help. One of the things I got my mum was a magnesium spray which you put on behind your knee (i know!!) and it helped.

There a supplement called ZMA which is good for having a deep sleep. I was advised to use it to go along with the exercise I do as I believe it helps your muscles in some way or another. Anyway, it's well known for giving a good nights sleep and they aren't harmful or addictive like sleeping pills.

Genuinely hope you feel better over the break and manage to catch up on the well deserved sleep and relaxation you need.

crazy_cat_lady · 13 December 2016 at 9:32PM

Hi all

Thanks Speky and Bob - I am really hopeful of some relaxing time coming up very soon. It was Christmas jumper day at work today so things are feeling more holiday like - plus tomorrow is the last full day of teaching before we have our carol service and 'fun' days. The end is almost in sight. It has been another late finish though - round 2 of ds nativity (yes, they do 2 shows!). I confess that I have treated myself to the largest, lardiest hot chocolate from star$s coffee. OK, it cost a fortune but a lovely milky drink might settle me for bed.
I am my own worst enemy - at the moment I'm blaming work for the stress, but to be very honest, if the technician was in then I would just find something else to be stressing and anxious about - it's the nature of who I am. I think I have a few bad memories from last Christmas and the Christmas before playing on my mind and I'm so desperate just to get on and have a good run into Christmas and a nice time with the family. 3 more get ups...
Rubbish sleep again last night - a total of 5 hours over 4 sessions. Not the best - once I finish at work I'm going to go all mindful and relaxing again. Treat to myself.
Still not too hopeful of getting caught up on here tonight - I feel like I'm really missing out. Bob, if you're reading and posting on the small things thread, can you let them know I'm ok but just busy at the moment? Thanks x

Bobarella · 14 December 2016 at 12:19AM

Of course I will hon.

SpekySquarehead · 14 December 2016 at 9:38AM

Morning,

Hope you had a better night last night CCL.

crazy_cat_lady · 14 December 2016 at 8:52PM

Hi :coffee:
What a pig of a day! It started with my commute to work taking me 90 minutes, thanks to a massive pile up on the main road. Usual journey time is 30 mins - so I was late for work and arrived half way through first lesson

Then my year 10 girls were in full on cat mode and gave me a really awful time during 3rd lesson - I felt like crying. Had to have 4 of them removed from the lesson, just generally b*tchy attitude - really disruptive. Anyway - the teaching is all done minus one lesson tomorrow afternoon and the end is finally in sight. I've had another really late night tonight at work - parents evening. Got home just before 7 - still exhausted...
The boys have gone out to football and I'm catching up with a bit of telly - might even start trying for sleep by 9 tonight. I'll see how far I get catching up on here.

Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

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