Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

i am in a similar situation

good friends of ours are getting married and have asked for cash as their pressies (only after i asked if there was enything they wanted - they didnt expect anything)

i am wanting to give £50 but am a bit scared of it going astray at the party, or that they wont remember who its from etc

i was thinking of writing a cheque, but thought they may feel cheeky/uncomfortable cashing it (i think i would)

i like the photo frame idea - but am already pushing the budget with £50 so dont really want to fork out anymore

any ideas?

got to agree with many of the posters i find it quite rude people asking for cash, we were invited to a wedding party a few years back, and i was offended that the wedding list was included, we barely knew the couple, realy unsure why we were actually invited !!! they asked for contributions to pay for thier plush day and split up 10 months later !!!!! when people have been living togather i think it is a tad rude to expect gifts and have a wedding list, but everyone appreciates vouchers ... we all need towels or new bedding at some stage in our life time !!!!

I would ask for cash but that is because my partner and I are planning on going to Australia for six months. THAT is what the money will be going towards. We won't be asking for presenst but if people ask then we will tell them money and the reason. I don't think it is vulgar at all.
Give people what they want instead of making a stand. It's not worth it.

nadnad wrote:

i think everyone is getting the idea of a wedding list (and even cash) all wrong. at the end of the day nobody is going to go to a wedding empty handed. the guests very often dont have a clue what to buy and I would say most appreciate there being a wedding list. it just makes things easier - most people who do a wedding list will have a wide range of gifts on it ranging from £10 to whatever, so you can still spend what you want but at least you know you are getting something that will be appreciated and you know no one else will have got. gone are the days when people get 5 toasters - and I can't say that thats a bad thing - can you?

I quite agree - pretty much no one would go to a wedding empty handed, and far from being rude to send a gift list round, it is an established tradition as far as my experience goes. Ok, so you hope it gets to you early on so that some of the cheap things are still on the list, but the happy couple know how much you have spent because you put your name to that present anyway.

Like others, my partner and I are getting married in September, but we've both done this before and have a house full of stuff and no need for presents. We have told people we don't want presents and this has been met with comments such as "oh, but we have to get you something". We have therefore told people that whilst we do not want any presents, if anyone really wants to give us something then there will be a piggy bank in a corner during the afternoon and they can contribute if they want. This has been met with approval all round - by many because it means they will actually probably spend less, in both money and time. No worries about finding nice (usually expensive) wrapping paper, nor about breaking the present en route or it getting squashed in the boot or left on the train, and no tramping around town for hours trying to find the damn thing in the first place!

We will spend the money on turning our planned holiday at New Year into a more of a honeymoon in terms of possibly having some money to spend whilst we are away instead of not having treats. The holiday is on a very tight budget and is only at New Year because commitments with our respective children seriously limit our available leave during the rest of the year - at least at New Year you get a few 'free' days off without eating into your annual leave allowance.

On a kind of money saving aspect re the wedding itself, we don't want a traditional reception as it's not appropriate really, so we are having a bring and share picnic where we provide the drinks and some nibbles and all the guests bring a picnic to share. So far all we've had is positive feedback to the idea.

Whatever you do you need to feel comfortable with it, but I would also hazard a guess that the happy couple has also agonised over the issue before you have done anyway.

Good luck!

I'm going to sound really tight now .......

I never give more than a card if we are invited to an evening do. If we are invited to a wedding then I either check the wedding list and buy from that OR buy gift vouchers (normally 40-50 quid). When we got married we were already living together and had everything. We had a very small list of ideals from Argos which if peopole asked we referred them to that - we did not ask for money or anything else - we were just glad that they gave up their day/evening to help us celebrate. As it happens we ended up (by default) with all of the list being brought and tons of gift vouchers and money - as opposed to friends of ours who were married 5 months after us who had a very strict list and people just did not bother with it because they felt it was expected of them.