Flo's Debt Free Diary

crazy_cat_lady · 6 June 2017 at 5:39PM

Productive, yet frustrating sounding day for you Flo. Sorry about the job - but it sounds fantastic that you have such an understanding doctor. Everything I've done has been a fight mental health wise for my dh, but he has been able to access services (as have I) without charge at all.
There is a website I sometimes use for a bit of help and inspiration called get gg - it's got lots of CBT stuff on it free of charge.

Florence_J · 10 June 2017 at 9:25AM

jvr wrote: »

Hi Florence,

Me and OH have had lots of arguments about bed time! I start work really early so I go to bed at 9.30 while OH starts late and goes after midnight.... there were lots of guilt trips about how I wasn't spending enough time with him and just stay up a bit longer bla bla... but I NEEEEEED my sleep I don't just get grumpy I panic about managing when tired and my mental health can really suffer. Perhaps this reliance on each other is not that healthy... if you went to bed at the right time would you always need his help to get up and going in the morning?

You may have BDP you may not, you seem to really understand the things you find harder than other people might. Have you tried listing positives too....? I hope that doesn't sound patronising, I have lived with depression on and off for years and it took me a long time to accept it and also realise that it brought horrible times but it has also made me very good as seeing peoples emotions and what they are going through and be more sensitive? Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't give it up in a heart beat not to get depressed but I find it helps me to see a positive that can come out of having mental health problems.

Most of all look after yourself and accept dealing with all those emotions is really hard and you are doing amazingly!

Also the cbt service is IAPT self referral ... when I looked on website it was leeds based but looks like there are options throughout England... not wales though

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

Productive, yet frustrating sounding day for you Flo. Sorry about the job - but it sounds fantastic that you have such an understanding doctor. Everything I've done has been a fight mental health wise for my dh, but he has been able to access services (as have I) without charge at all.
There is a website I sometimes use for a bit of help and inspiration called get gg - it's got lots of CBT stuff on it free of charge.

Thank you guys.

I have rejigged the budgets and if I pay off my overdraft, don't have a social life, don't buy anything, and get counselling then I will still be £200 short of my now rejigged and reduced Christmas budget.

Things are going to get tight.

But what would help is if I pay off my overdraft I can change banks to one that will give me money for switching.

Florence_J · 12 June 2017 at 11:24AM

I have the day off work today ill. I had insomnia, headache and felt like I had been run over by an elephant.

I am fairly certain that today is my last full pay sick day from what I've worked out, which means any more I have this year before it resets in October will be at half pay, which is a massive stress, let's hope I don't need anymore time off.

I am struggling beyond all comprehension. But I am being as proactive about it as I can, I have joined a anxiety/depression support group on meet up in my area, I am going to an initial meeting with a counsellor today, if it is a good fit for both of us I will have my first proper session next week. I can just about afford the counselling and pay off my overdraft, but it leaves me with zero (I will post a revised SOA in the post that follows this one).

I guess I have to accept the fact that paying off my debts and getting help for my mental health are essentials and a social life isn't.

It will just be hard because it will feel like I am working a job I hate just to afford the counselling to complain about the job I hate with no money to let off steam with my friends.

If I had known that getting into debt severely limits your life, forces you into work you hate or might not even be able to cope with just so that you can pay off your debts, I would have put down the cigarettes, the clothes, the books, the dvds, the nights out, the meals out, the canteen lunches.

I want to be a debt advisor. I want to help people. I want to educate people about getting into debt and try and prevent it.

If this experience leads me to my dream path, and if I can help just one person, it may have all been worth it.

Florence_J · 12 June 2017 at 11:49AM

REVISED SOA

Ok everyone, here is how my current 'July 2017 Finances' spreadsheet stands. So this is where I input all my bills and the costs of them against my income.

This is based on paying back the remaining amount of my debt to OH over the next 7 paydays of the year left (about £58 a month) plus a potential £50 loan from him for two counselling sessions this month if I decide to stick with my counsellor, and on the basis that because I will be on holiday one week I will only have three counselling sessions in July before my next payday.

My payday is the 27th of each month.

INCOME = £1206.26

BILLS

Overdraft charges = £10.76

Paying off chunk of my overdraft = £100 (it currently is £400)

Lloyds 0% balance transfer credit card = £15 (this is a minimum payment but I have over a year left on the card)

Tesco 0% balance transfer credit card = £30 (minimum payment, over a year left)

Mobile Phone Contract = £21.50

Broadband = £27.95 (contract ends in July and we are getting the hell out of it then.

Gas and Electricity = £65 (this is currently the cheapest deal for us)

Train Monthly Season Ticket = £292.30

Rent and council tax = £169.52 (I'll explain, OH pays these two from his account, this payment that I give him is my half of the bills he pays minus his half of the bills I pay)

Food/Household shopping budget = £250 (we recently increased this as it was becoming impossible for us to spend less a month, I am in charge of the food budget so that's why all the money comes from my account)

Water bill (OH pays the yearly bill and I pay my half in 12 installments) £19.57

Debt to OH (This month) = £115.96

Counselling £75

Labour Membership £3.92

All of this leaves me with £9.78, that I would probably throw to one of the credit cards.

So there we have it. Zero.

I could not pay off my overdraft, or only pay £50 a month, but I'm not sure what to do. Discussing it with OH and I get mixed messages. He said he would absolutely pay for counselling for me and I could pay him back whenever, rather than having a set date, when I suggested I only pay £50 to my overdraft and have £50 pocket money a month he got a bit funny about that and questioned what I would need it for (I said postage costs for posting presents to people)

the broadband I can't do anything with just yet, energy is fixed till September, phone contract is for another year....

Basically my one option to saving myself is to get a job in Cardiff. But I am stressed that I will get a bad reference from this job, I am stressed that there is no job I can cope with, I am scared. Scared. Scared. Scared.

I just have to be brave and try to keep my head above the waters.

It will be extremely tough. But maybe it will all make a good anecdote, or if I can get a bit self serving maybe it will all be good content for my eventual book.

Florence_J · 12 June 2017 at 12:12PM

Well, in better news I just bought £40.13 of presents on Amazon for 13p after using all the vouchers I had earned.

I have decided I am going to try and find a way to go back to my Dad's house for his birthday in August and/or visit my Sister in November for my niece's birthday for free. I am planning this based on I know Tesco Club Card vouchers can be exchanged for megabus tickets, and my sister could be reached by megabus (she lives in Norwich) whereas my Dad would be a bit trickier.

I want to use all my resources this year. I want to be as inventive as possible with my money, the tiny, tiny amount of it I have.

reality_check · 12 June 2017 at 1:01PM

£250 is a lot for food for 2 people when on a tight budget, I think it could def come down to £200 and have £50 left over.

Buying things like a whole chicken as oppose to chicken breasts, have pasta a few nights, egg based things like omelettes, try a lentil bolonsaise, buy mince and split it up into portions and bulk out with grated carrot and lentils, buy the veg on offer, stick to fruit like apples and bannas, buy the big tubs of natural yoghurt as oppose to branded individual ones. Make a big pot of soup for lunches and try making sure you have enough leftover from dinner to do a lunch the next day by putting extra veg on your plate with your dinner.

Cleaning products, all you need is bleach and a bottle of flash/supermarket version multipurpose spray for floors etc and dilute into a big bottle as oppose to buying the ones at £1 each. I admit I spend a lot more but if I had to cut back I would. Also buy washing powder and fabric softener from places like home bargains. I actually buy all cleaning/washing stuff branded but do from there as so much cheaper.

I am rubbish at not spending on my debt/impulsive purchases, but the one thing I am good at is cooking from scratch, and making healthy meals with a budget. I mostly shop in Lidl and Sainsburys. There is def scope there for improvement.

Hope you feel better soon xx

Florence_J · 12 June 2017 at 1:21PM

reality_check wrote: »

£250 is a lot for food for 2 people when on a tight budget, I think it could def come down to £200 and have £50 left over.

Buying things like a whole chicken as oppose to chicken breasts, have pasta a few nights, egg based things like omelettes, try a lentil bolonsaise, buy mince and split it up into portions and bulk out with grated carrot and lentils, buy the veg on offer, stick to fruit like apples and bannas, buy the big tubs of natural yoghurt as oppose to branded individual ones. Make a big pot of soup for lunches and try making sure you have enough leftover from dinner to do a lunch the next day by putting extra veg on your plate with your dinner.

Cleaning products, all you need is bleach and a bottle of flash/supermarket version multipurpose spray for floors etc and dilute into a big bottle as oppose to buying the ones at £1 each. I admit I spend a lot more but if I had to cut back I would. Also buy washing powder and fabric softener from places like home bargains. I actually buy all cleaning/washing stuff branded but do from there as so much cheaper.

I am rubbish at not spending on my debt/impulsive purchases, but the one thing I am good at is cooking from scratch, and making healthy meals with a budget. I mostly shop in Lidl and Sainsburys. There is def scope there for improvement.

Hope you feel better soon xx

I agree, that on paper £250 for two people sounds like an awful lot. Last year we were living off £168 a month!

I'm afraid that although your suggestions are very good, they do not apply to us as if anything I am an own brand snob (I won't buy branded if an own brand is available), we eat mainly vegetarian meals, I check the cost per 100g of every single thing I buy and we don't buy much in the way of treats.

Yes, there would be ways of cutting it down, but we are hindered a bit by OH being quite fussy so whereas I could live off lentils for 1000 days, he dislikes them.

The thing is the £250 a month covers everything from medication, food, a small bit of alcohol, cleaning products, shower gel, deodorant, washing powder, drinks etc. If you can buy it in a supermarket it comes from the budget.

Please don't think I am dismissing your suggestions, I do love finding ways to save on the budget, and I do feel a bit inadequate knowing that Jack Monroe did it on £10 a week, I'm sure there is something that could be eliminated from the food budget, but for me we set the budget at £200 this year and were routinely going over the budget by up to £50 a month.

I'll admit I have started buying Gin, but when I say that I buy a 1 litre own brand bottle and it lasts me about 6 months, so I'm not exactly glugging it down.

Maybe I'll do a SOA of one month's food shopping costs and what we bought so that you and anyone else might be able to offer suggestions. I'm sure there is something staring me in the face. I just don't know what.

Florence_J · 12 June 2017 at 1:22PM

The other thing is I don't really want to restrict the budget too much as I don't want OH to 'suffer' food wise just because I've been incompetent with money when he hasn't been.

jvr · 12 June 2017 at 1:26PM

Absolutely agree on the food, can be a good way of saving a large amount of money. I do think you need to be careful leaving no money for yourself. Seeing friends can be done cheaply but usually need a bit to be able to even just go out and sit and have a soft drink. That is part of looking after your mental health it isn't a total luxury. I may be totally out of order here but I can't understand stretching yourself to repay your OH when your in this position and the counselling is so important, can you not reduce that a bit while you get yourself better and hopefully in a position where you can move jobs to save on travel etc. and then repay more. I hope that didn't sound rude I just feel right now taking care of yourself and having the counselling but not isolating yourself is so important.

Take care

jvr · 12 June 2017 at 1:39PM

Must have cross posted - make sense in budget if includes all that stuff

Flo's Debt Free Diary

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