Money Moral Dilemma: Should I agree to pay my mum more rent?

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  • Your mums not being unreasonable by doubling your rent,as i see it she's starting to prepare you for the real world and the costs your going to be paying when you move out.Although £200 a month isn't going to go far on rent,then the usual household bills,plus food,cooking,cleaning and the usual socializing at weekends.Sit down with a pen and paper then add all this up,go up to your mum with the £200,apologise with a smile and tell her how great she is.In 76 i payed 20%(£6) rent at home which covered everything,moved out in 83 payed 30% for rent only.What the % is today i'm not sure,but i bet it's not as low as 30%,how lucky we was.
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 6,951
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    I was paying my parents £25/week 30 years ago (out of about £90 take home I think), the OP paying the same now is getting an absolute bargain.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • crmism
    crmism Posts: 300
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    You haven't said how much you earn, how old you are, or whether you're saving hard for a mortgage - all you've told us is that you're on a salary rather than a wage. In that case, I will assume that your equivalent weekly take-home pay is rather greater than the average wage packet.

    £50 per week is dirt-cheap. The food and drink you consume in that time probably costs as much as that. Add on your mother's washing and ironing of your clothes, your use of electricity and gas and doubtless the use your own room, and it's pretty clear that you have been under-charged for some time.

    Of course, you have a choice - you can either cough up and pay a fair amount for your keep, or you could look for somewhere else to live, and pay a commercial rent. I don't think, however, that you'll find any landlord willing to agree to what you're paying now.:cool:
  • onlyroz
    onlyroz Posts: 17,661
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    Round my way a single room in a shared house would be a minimum of £400 a month. £200 a month is a bargain. £100 a month is insulting.
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484
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    I do not feel qualified to answer this one :)
    When I was at home I had to pay £40 a month (which was nothing).
    I made a HUGE fuss about it and got it reduced to £25 (which was taking the mick!)
    When I left home I realised how lucky I was to have got away with paying such an insulting amount!!!!
    Bills, Bills, Bills.....awful
  • chipp
    chipp Posts: 141
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    When I first started work more than 40 years ago I gave my parents one quarter of my take-home earnings. As I got pay rises, so did my Mum.


    Nowadays I live fairly frugally (old habits die hard) and don't eat meat. I still spend well in excess of £100 pcm on food alone.
    If you can't think of anything nice to write, say nothing. Rudeness isn't clever.
  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,286
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    You should do what my father did when he started working 80 years ago. Give all your wages to your mother and let her decide how much pocket money to give you.
    Pollycat wrote: »
    'Give'?
    I didn't have a choice.
    When I started work almost 50 years ago, my Mother took my wages off me and gave me money for the bus to get to work and spending money.

    I'm quite glad it's not 80 or 50 years ago now then. Things are, quite thankfully, different.
    Amara wrote: »
    My grandma has done that to my dad, took all his wages and gave him for bus fare only. His aunt believed it was unfair and talked to my grandma about it, but been told to mind her own business. Aunt offered my dad to move in with her, she lived in town, where he worked, so it was closer for him anyway. He did it and stayed at his auntie's until he married. He contributed to aunt's household, but not as much as his parents. Grandma and aunt were on not very nice terms for a long while.


    I'm with your aunt.

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,286
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    chipp wrote: »
    When I first started work more than 40 years ago I gave my parents one quarter of my take-home earnings. As I got pay rises, so did my Mum.


    Nowadays I live fairly frugally (old habits die hard) and don't eat meat. I still spend well in excess of £100 pcm on food alone.

    That's how I did it, plus if I wanted any special food or some beer I bought it.

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • I have a daughter living at home (1 of 4 daughters). So as not to be 'unfair' to the others, we charge £70 a week - a bargain compared to living on your own or in a shared house. Have since spoken to others in the same situation and the best suggestion has been 20% of takehome pay after tax (which seems a good idea)!
  • ButterflyLC
    ButterflyLC Posts: 51 Forumite
    There's not enough information here to advise properly. Dig money is usually to help cover with the household bills, so if your mum still buys all of your food, toiletries, does your washing, cleaning and ironing, cooks every day for you among other things, it's not unreasonable to ask for extra. I paid probably £100 a month that rose to £200 but my mum did everything for me. I just bought my own toiletries, but she agreed to me giving her a shopping list when going to the shops so I got what I wanted. My uniform needed washed as I was working full time, meaning the washing machine was on more often. I would go out a lot more meaning friends were round getting ready or I would constantly have straighteners on. Even when I was at uni, I used more electricity with my laptop and printer being on.

    When you move out you will pay a lot more than that, I'd take it. And rents/mortgages can go up while your income stays the same. If you're really not happy, ask your mum to show you the bills and learn how they work. An all adult household is not cheap.
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