Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy an engagement gift for my fiance?
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My boyfriend recently proposed to me and spent money on a beautiful ring, which I love. He would like me to buy him a wristwatch of equal value as a memento of the engagement, however I've just left my job and we're about to move home so I feel we need every penny for more practical things. Am I being a scrooge?
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!
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Comments
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As buy each other expensive gifts you might as well just give each other the cash. I assume from your post that the choice of engagement ring was his alone and while you love it, consider whether you would have been happy with something half the price or even less?
You don't say why you have left your job? Is this related to the move? Will you be without income (or.a 2nd income as a couple) for long?0 -
If he wanted something in return (other than your acceptance) then perhaps he should have discussed that with you before you got engaged.
You might want to consider buying him a nice watch for the wedding (if you can afford it then) but don't feel obliged to now if there are more important things to spend the money on.0 -
I think if he expected that then that should have been discussed before you got engaged, he should surely understand that since you aren't currently working that that isnt a sensible use of funds. I bought my fiance an engagement gift in return as i want him to having something to wear himself but it's not something he would ever has insisted on.0
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It must be a modern day practice for a woman to buy her fianc! an engagement present as I've never heard of it. . With all the expenses of a wedding and a new home ahead of you I would have thought it is better now to hold fire on any more expensive spending unless you can think of an inexpensive gift to mark the occasion which isn't going to break the bank, especially if you're not working at the moment. Just because you're planning to get married this isn't an excuse for financial common sense to fly out of the window.0
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Is it a modern thing? When I got engaged in the early 90s, I received a ring - and bought my fiance a new amp for his music system!:heartpuls Mrs Marleyboy :heartpuls
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Proud Parents to an Aut-some son 0 -
Tell him you'll sell your ring and buy him the watch with the proceeds. After all, it would be an unnecessary expense to have a bit of sparkly stuff adorning your finger when you'll only get another ring in the future - and at least he'll be able to tell the time with his gift...I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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I wouldn't say it's a "modern thing". I proposed to my wife when I was 25 in 2014, got her a ring and expected nothing in return - but then I'm quite traditional.
If you can't afford it, don't have an income, are about to move home and are now planning a wedding, personally I think you'd be daft to buy something for him. I wouldn't say it's a done thing (I've never heard of it), and I'd like to think this was discussed beforehand? If it wasn't, then I think his expectations are unreal, and of course if it was, then it's a bit dodgy to now be umming and ahhing about it.0 -
Are we talking a Rolex or a Casio?
If it's a Casio then just buy it for him.
If it's a Rolex then kiss him goodbye and keep the ring.
Total tosh either way.0 -
When we got engaged, we went together to buy an engagement ring and wedding ring at the same time. I bought a nice watch for my husband to be at the same time as he doesn't wear rings. That was his wedding watch.They were not of equal value and he didn't need to ask for a gift. It is quite natural to do this.0
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If he wants something back then you're marrying the wrong man.Pants0
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