How Did You Afford/Pay for Your/Your Daughter's Wedding?

tesuhoha wrote: »

It seems from all your comments that most parents wish to contribute something, even if you don't want them to. My husband is quite a proud person and he would be most upset if he didn't pay for something!!

My dad offered to pay for the reception - I took this with a pinch of salt as he never keeps promises, and he stole my savings from me when I was 12. Needless to say, we paid for the reception ourselves and he never mentioned it. Neither my mum nor MIL offered anything towards the costs, my mum asked me to meet her in town the day before my wedding and when we got the bus back she said "I'll only need a single won't I?" - I said oh is your friend coming to pick you up tonight then and she said "oh no I'm staying at yours". so I spent my last night of freedom sat up til 4 am making orders of service and a buffet for the all the people who were coming round the next day before catching a few hours kip on the settee.

my dad didn't even give us a card on the day either

Hi,
We had a relatively small wedding, with my dad unable to contribute anything financially, and my DH's mum and dad giving £1000. If I would have known the hassle that accepting the £1000 meant, I wouldn't have accepted (that's another story). We got a loan out to pay for our honeymoon, but paid for the wedding, dresses (I bought my sisters bridesmaid dresses) and everything else related to it.

We opted for a small venue for the wedding, and reception in order to have a nicer honeymoon. We went to the Atlantis hotel on Paradise Island in the Bahamas and it was just perfect! In fact I was watching our wedding dvd yesterday!
I think it's a lovely idea that you want to gift your daughter some money for her wedding. I'm sure that whatever amount you can manage, she will be grateful for. You sound like a very kind person.

If you're concerned then I'd suggest saving up a lump sum that can be given to her to spend on whatever she wants - whether this is the wedding itself, the honeymoon, or a deposit for a house. If you also have sons then I'd do the same, not wanting to treat children differently.

I paid for my own wedding. My parents paid for the flights on my honeymoon, and my husband's parents gave us £2k in cash as a wedding present. I think that my parents *would* have paid for my wedding if I'd agreed to have it in my home town rather than where I live now.

My brother's wedding was paid for by his wife's parents, and cost probably 20 times what mine cost.

We paid for our own wedding, it was a smallish event with very close family members only.
By paying for it ourselves we couldnt be emotionally blackmailed by parents/PIL into inviting this person and that person and auntie and unlce x (who you havent seen since you were 5), and parents friends (the list goes on........yawn)

At least by paying for it ourselves we had total control over what happened and when.
I'm not a control freak by any means but we knew we only wanted a small wedding (32 in total inc 8 kids ). If both of our parents had got involved then it would have been more like 232 :eek:
I have a fairly largeish family as i have stepfamily on both sides.

My mum and stepdad bought our wedding cake from M and S as i wanted my stepdad to decorate it (but i paid for the decorations).

My dad didnt come to the wedding neither did he contribute in anyway.
My stepdad gave me away (he did tell hubby that i was sold as seen and no refunds allowed :rotfl:)


When my sister got married this year she paid for some of it herself but also had help from my mum, nan and our dad, i think my Bils parents put money towards the reception.
(although i do know there were a few heated words between my sister and my mum as mum wanted a few people she felt had a right to be there)

squibbs25 wrote: »

By paying for it ourselves we couldnt be emotionally blackmailed by parents/PIL into inviting this person and that person and auntie and unlce x (who you havent seen since you were 5), and parents friends (the list goes on........yawn)

At least by paying for it ourselves we had total control over what happened and when.

Oh my god yes - mum tried her very hardest to ruin my wedding my disagreeing with everything. She seemed to think that daughters should have some sort of hereditary knowledge about how weddings are supposed to go. By paying for it myself I was able to have the sort of wedding that *I* wanted rather than the one she wanted me to have. She spent the entire day looking like she was sucking on a lemon, but I managed to ignore her and not let her spoil it too much.