Morally wrong or is it ok?
Lancs30
Posts: 2 Newbie
So a ex of my husbands has been in touch ( found us via Facebook) in summary they where together 2 months , she had a child in 2003 never told my husband. She says she must of only been a week or two pregnant when they split up and she met someone they day after.
She had the child and put her new partner on the birth certificate and they married a few weeks later.
She split up with her husband last year and they told the child that he wasn't her dad and they both always known that (her and her ex).
She says she's had legal advice and says as my husband didn't know the child until she was 14 a court won't grant any access, but she wants CSA paying going forward.
She's said verbally that it's to pay her debts and to help pay her new boyfriends CSA
So no money will go on the child !
CSA have said it doesn't matter who's on the birth certificate , if she names someone as a father they have to pay even if there is no DNA evidence. My husband has paid for a DNA but she is currently refusing and the CSA say it's up to my husband to prove he's not the dad.
So we're in limbo at the moment .
My husband has another son and always paid his child maintenance plus extra money, but my question is is it wrong for someone to contact a ex and say they have a child that is 14 years old and they have only told them because they've had a bitter divorce when committed purjury on the birth certificate and stated they will not allow access to the child but want child maintenance each month when they guy who brought her up still has part time access to her ?
I know before I'm told that if you have a child you have to pay for the child but even if it's taken the mother 14 years to tell you ? It's not like he's been avoiding it for all these years or choose not to have a relationship with the child . He didn't know.
It feels like blackmail supported by the child maintenance service... you have a child you didn't know about , you don't know where she lives but you will have to pay a monthly amount. Even though you won't be able to afford your bills.
She had the child and put her new partner on the birth certificate and they married a few weeks later.
She split up with her husband last year and they told the child that he wasn't her dad and they both always known that (her and her ex).
She says she's had legal advice and says as my husband didn't know the child until she was 14 a court won't grant any access, but she wants CSA paying going forward.
She's said verbally that it's to pay her debts and to help pay her new boyfriends CSA
So no money will go on the child !
CSA have said it doesn't matter who's on the birth certificate , if she names someone as a father they have to pay even if there is no DNA evidence. My husband has paid for a DNA but she is currently refusing and the CSA say it's up to my husband to prove he's not the dad.
So we're in limbo at the moment .
My husband has another son and always paid his child maintenance plus extra money, but my question is is it wrong for someone to contact a ex and say they have a child that is 14 years old and they have only told them because they've had a bitter divorce when committed purjury on the birth certificate and stated they will not allow access to the child but want child maintenance each month when they guy who brought her up still has part time access to her ?
I know before I'm told that if you have a child you have to pay for the child but even if it's taken the mother 14 years to tell you ? It's not like he's been avoiding it for all these years or choose not to have a relationship with the child . He didn't know.
It feels like blackmail supported by the child maintenance service... you have a child you didn't know about , you don't know where she lives but you will have to pay a monthly amount. Even though you won't be able to afford your bills.
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Comments
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https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/disagreements-about-parentage
You need to say that you can't prove it, then a DNA test should be put forth.People don't know what they want until you show them.0 -
.... but my question is is it wrong for someone to contact a ex and say they have a child that is 14 years old and they have only told them because they've had a bitter divorce when committed purjury on the birth certificate...
It's certainly a criminal offence.
Sec 4 Perjury Act 1911
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo5/1-2/6/section/4
Although it does state that a "prosecution on indictment for an offence against this section shall not be commenced more than three years after the commission of the offence", so it doesn't look as if the penalty imposed would be more than a £100 fine.
There is a leaflet available; What happens when someone denies they are the parent of a child
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/what-happens-when-someone-denies-they-are-the-parent-of-a-child
It states that there are three ways of sorting out disputes about parentage - presumed parentage, DNA testing, and asking the courts to decide. Parentage can only be assumed in certain circumstances.
It also states that "If the receiving parent refuses to take the test, we can close the case" and that "If the receiving parent does not agree to a DNA test, then the person we have presumed to be the parent may be able to apply to the courts to prove they are not the parent".
Which would suggest that you formally request that CMS close the case on the grounds of the mother's refusal to have a DNA test. If they fail to do so, you may need legal advice.0 -
She says she's had legal advice and says as my husband didn't know the child until she was 14 a court won't grant any access, but she wants CSA paying going forward.
Either she's lying or she's paying for rubbish legal advice.
If it is proven that he is the father then he can get parental rights.
If she won't go ahead with the DNA tests, she's not as sure as she's making out that he's the father.0 -
So a ex of my husbands has been in touch ( found us via Facebook) in summary they where together 2 months , she had a child in 2003 never told my husband. She says she must of only been a week or two pregnant when they split up and she met someone they day after. - So this child is your husbands?
She had the child and put her new partner on the birth certificate and they married a few weeks later.
She split up with her husband last year and they told the child that he wasn't her dad and they both always known that (her and her ex). - So her ex is presumably been paying child maintenance?
She says she's had legal advice and says as my husband didn't know the child until she was 14 a court won't grant any access, but she wants CSA paying going forward. - The court might grant contact, certainly worth looking into. There's no reason not to.
She's said verbally that it's to pay her debts and to help pay her new boyfriends CSA
So no money will go on the child ! - irrelevant.
CSA have said it doesn't matter who's on the birth certificate , if she names someone as a father they have to pay even if there is no DNA evidence. - Ofcourse.... how many children would footballers have if that was true? My husband has paid for a DNA but she is currently refusing and the CSA say it's up to my husband to prove he's not the dad. - Not true as such. He disputes paternity and until it's proven he doesn't need to pay anything
So we're in limbo at the moment .
My husband has another son and always paid his child maintenance plus extra money, but my question is is it wrong for someone to contact a ex and say they have a child that is 14 years old and they have only told them because they've had a bitter divorce when committed purjury on the birth certificate - that's stretching it. and stated they will not allow access to the child but want child maintenance each month when they guy who brought her up still has part time access to her ?- legally it's fine. Morally, that's individual and not appropriate to comment on.
I know before I'm told that if you have a child you have to pay for the child but even if it's taken the mother 14 years to tell you ? It's not like he's been avoiding it for all these years or choose not to have a relationship with the child . He didn't know. - He knows now, if it is his child, he should pay.
It feels like blackmail supported by the child maintenance service... you have a child you didn't know about , you don't know where she lives but you will have to pay a monthly amount. Even though you won't be able to afford your bills.
It's not black mail. That's really not what blackmail is.
Should've kept it in his pants.0 -
Thanks for the response.
Today we have received a letter stating that the csa has been closed as he is no longer the named father.0 -
Thanks for the response.
Today we have received a letter stating that the csa has been closed as he is no longer the named father.
You may or may not receive further contact in the future.
At this stage the CMS are probably presuming parentage via the birth certificate. If the ex husband decides he doesn't want to pay for the child and has a DNA test which proves he isn't the father, your husband may be contacted again if she names him. At that stage he can take a DNA test rather than pay for a child that may not be his. If she refuses the DNA test, the case would be closed.
That said the ex may not do this; he doesn't necessarily know the lack of penalty for the perjury in this case (if it's true that there's no chance the ex is the father.) Unsure how it would be regarded if he knew it was 50/50 (or lower if there are more possibilities.)0
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