Teenagers first holiday without parents
Comments
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How do you learn to look for something you don't know exists? You can't google something you have no concept ofBut he needs to learn how to do that too. Give him the money and leave him to it.
It was discovered last night that friend hasn't booked his flight to/from England. (2nd leg of his journey) He thought a relative had. If it wasn't for us asking what time his flight home was, (because DS has to be back at college the following day, so timings were needed) this may not have been discovered, making booking train times pointless.0 -
It's really hard, watching them make mistakes and knowing you could have helped.
But think back to your own teenage years - did you learn most when someone did things for you, or when you had to do them for yourself (even if you didn't do them perfectly)?
I think our roles change as our kids get older. As they start stretching their wings, we cease to be the person that protects and provides, and become a sort of wicket keeper, ready to catch if things go wrong but otherwise not much needed. (sorry about the mixed metaphors - it started off OK in my head...).
So - let them get on with it. They will get things wrong. They will not get the same bargains you would get. They will not go to see the same things you would want to see (do they want to go to the Tower of London??). But they will learn a heck of a lot in the process and that really is the most important thing.No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...0 -
How do you learn to look for something you don't know exists? You can't google something you have no concept of
It was discovered last night that friend hasn't booked his flight to/from England. (2nd leg of his journey) He thought a relative had. If it wasn't for us asking what time his flight home was, (because DS has to be back at college the following day, so timings were needed) this may not have been discovered, making booking train times pointless.
Your son will find out for himself where he wants to go and what he wants to see. Thats how we all get on in life.. Thats what Google is for !
I moved away from home 2 weeks after my 16th birthday, my friend and i took a seasonal job in a hotel 350 miles away from our home. I stayed for 8 years. My Mum let me go, there were no mobile phones or Internet in those days either ! I used to ring her once a week from the local payphone to let her know i was OK.
I'm a single parent now and i have a teenage daughter and a 31 year old son, My Mums example helped me to let my kids sort out their own issues, getting to school/college/part time job /days out etc They don't need my help, and i'm pleased about that, they're incredibly independant people. It's hard to take a back seat but you have to.
Hovering over them and trying to "help" doesn't do them any favours really.0 -
bluebear36 wrote: »Where can you get a three course meal in Edinburgh for £6.50? I can only assume it's a deal and so is at lunchtime and small portions.
Maybe the lad doesn't like junk food and likes meals that includes vegetables.
When I go on holiday I'm lucky if £20 covers my evening meal!
Near the Omni, and whilst its a lunchtime special its large portions, its where locals go, Other places do 3 courses for around £12-£15 in evening often including a drink, but this place I may go in 3 times a year and owner recognises me each time, considering hes been there for 40 years and still exists it means hes doing something right!
£20 is lucky to cover a evening meal!! i'd have to push to spend that much like walk into the first place I find and go for something expensive on menu. but its all down to common sense really, get a curry at take away and it may cost £7, the same curry at a restuarant may be double that price but no better or bigger portions, part of what I was writing was to imply more common sense, if he does get £15 a day, and splashes it on a single curry and rice and has no spending money then its his own fault for not planning, giving him say £10 will make him think about stretching it more.
But I wasn't the person who mentioned Nando;s i.e junk food so I gave cheaper similar junk food options.0 -
I'm still a bit bemused that people aren't thinking I'm leaving him to it. I just asked for suggestions.
So far, DS and his friend have booked a hol for when one is 18+ and the other 17, instead of waiting another 4 months, when both could get into the pubs. 'Discovered' that a flight that was thought booked for and paid for actually wasn't and have now booked Ryanair. And had a night where they knew they wanted to be in x place but had done nothing about booking accommodation there and didn't know how they were getting there either.
^^^^^^ If the above was the calibre of my overseeing this, I'd hate to think what they'd do if left to their own devices. :rotfl:0 -
So you give him a tenner and that forces him to find a cheaper curry? Got you.0
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I know what you’re saying but, assuming that he knows the basics of the transport system and can be trusted to not wander around dark alleys alone at 3am, he’ll learn more if he’s left to sort out his own budget and perhaps make a few mistakes. You can discuss with him some of the options for finding the best deals but he should be encouraged to do his own leg-work.I think some people are misunderstanding. I have no worries about him starving or getting lost. What I would like to do is stretch the money I give into as much as possible. Eg I discovered yesterday I have around a tenner in clubcard vouchers that I can 4x towards the cost of the tower of London. DS wouldn't even know that clubcard exists, let alone know I have some vouchers.0 -
I think some people are misunderstanding. I have no worries about him starving or getting lost. What I would like to do is stretch the money I give into as much as possible. Eg I discovered yesterday I have around a tenner in clubcard vouchers that I can 4x towards the cost of the tower of London. DS wouldn't even know that clubcard exists, let alone know I have some vouchers.
Why not? He needs to know all about this sort of thing whether he is going to go to college/uni or just live on his own at some point. This should be part of you educating him about living a 'moneysaving' life.I’m a Senior Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Pensions, Annuities & Retirement Planning, Loans
& Credit Cards boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com.
All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.0 -
So you give him a tenner and that forces him to find a cheaper curry? Got you.
That response confuses me, either you are twisting the truth there by writing the most vague response which can be interpreted any way, or "agreeing" in the sense that you aren't.
The point there was if he was on say a high street and had a choice between walking into the first place he could find as he knew he didn;t have to worry about cash whilst that £20 curry may be lower quality than that £8 one across the road but they don't care.
But on top of that some places may charge like £15 for that curry when the same curry to take out would be £6.
Why don't you bring up the people who recommend him buying basics from supermarket and tell them maybe he wants to eat in restaurants? Why only focus on me.0 -
But on top of that some places may charge like £15 for that curry when the same curry to take out would be £6.
He's probably not going to be getting takeaway curry given that hes taking it back to a hotel and not to his own home.The point there was if he was on say a high street and had a choice between walking into the first place he could find as he knew he didn;t have to worry about cash whilst that £20 curry may be lower quality than that £8 one across the road but they don't care.
So you are recommending that he gets less money so that he can seek out lower priced better quality curries rather than having 20 pounds so that he can walk into any old takeaway and get a higher priced curry that might not be as tasty? You aren't going to know about quality unless you try both which isn't going to happen.
You are suggesting that he gets less money so he has to bargain hunt for his dinner? Is that your view?0
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