Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady · 16 November 2016 at 11:11AM

Thank you Reality, Dolly and Becks.

I am back on the wagon and making better choices. Had curry for tea last night and tonight and then with my parents tommorow.
Yesterday spent £2.40 in tesco on foods which is almost unheard of. Then £19 on house cleaning/laundry. That was a lot but my flat needs a bit of tlc.

Today is 135 days to loan end
8 to payday.

I had too much to drink and dropped the train ticket somewhere so i need to learn from that and Banish the beer fear at the same time.

Aside from the month I paid for my home improvements this month has been the worst. I am going to make sure december is better but I do need to get some presents still.

Christmas presents to get
Parents £80
Brother/sister/partner £30 left to be added in
Grandparents £20
Friends children £20
Work secret Santa £15
Niece £15
Nephew £10
Best friend £40* we may do night out to cover this off

Some of this can go under december pay so not all this month.
Need to be better at this.
Doing well declining non essential social invites. Just need to cope in the festive season, I don't think i ever realised before how costly this is. It just seems to come at you from all angles. Its like fighting all the madness. Need to get into december and sort this out.

StokieBecks · 16 November 2016 at 11:33AM

Don't know if you can do this for next year but I put a bit aside each month towards christmas so I know I have it covered. I have in previous years used a christmas savings company for christmas 2017 I am saving it myself on an online savings account with my bank. Will mean i have to be very disciplined though

I hope my previous post didn't come across the wrong way, just always useful to have a little bit of a forward plan.

Poor_Single_lady · 16 November 2016 at 1:15PM

No Stokiebecks you are completely right. You actually could not be any more correct on this. I do need a plan and to dig myself out. That's not going to happen at the current rate.

And I do need to prepare for the very real possibility of no bonus. This has happened before not very long ago. If I don't consider this i will get to april and not cope so does need some serious consideration.

Thinking things over today and trying hard.

Poor_Single_lady · 17 November 2016 at 2:07PM

134 days till loan end.
7 to payday.

The plan
Today nsd
Friday eyebrows, dentist, mascara
Saturday. Pub
Sunday nsd
Monday nsd
Tuesdays food shop
Wednesday cheap lunch, home pm
Thursday nsd
Friday payday cheap lunch with work friend
Saturday 26th no plans, small food shop.
Sunday 27th no plans
Monday 28th loan payment making balance of £1530.
Tues 29th, no plans, work then home
Wed 30th, no plans work then home
Thurs 1st dec

No social except this saturday
No big food shop, all small
Use toiletries in cupboard but need mascara
No new clothes, manage on current wardrobe.
Keep calm and carry on.

Poor_Single_lady · 18 November 2016 at 8:59PM

Today was a bit hard. I bought the mascara and then not in the plans - some foundation, a top and lingerie that pushes up and maximizes what you have. It is expensive being single and meeting someone you like. Not essential in everyone's book but I need to put some effort in to not being single or give up forever.

Then ate defrosted premade dinner as have done a lot this month so food costs are low but not low enough. I have signed up for expensive but essential teeth whitening so I know its going to be a tough few months but I have been so unhappy about this for a long time. It costs 1 and 1 third loan payment. I pay just before christmas so will bridge 2 paydays.

So yes I have too much debt and shouldn't be spending. I am trying hard but it is hard.

6 days to payday
133 of loan left

In January less bills so £280 staying in bank account rather than bills. One of my good decisions- the loan has payment holiday in january. And feb and march £95 each. My mum told me not to give them any money till the new year. We had a bit of a talk about how difficult money is but I didn't tell her how bad it REALLY is. I don't know where I would be without them.

It probably comes across as quite a poor effort and probably it is but it is going to get better and easier which I know sounds like an excuse. It just needs time and I will fix it.

System · 18 November 2016 at 9:30PM

Hey PSL. You are sounding pretty down. The after guilt that comes from spending - ah I know it so well.

Don't beat me up for saying the next things I say - I'm only saying it because I care, and because to me it seems like your pay-off plan isn't quite right yet.

To me it feels like that by being so tough on trying to pay off your debt, you do OK for a while, but then hit a bump in the road and then buy things to make yourself feel better, or just rebel against how "tight" your plans are.

I think you should just think about taking longer to pay things off and being OK with that.

I think you should build into your budget for your ramble fund - which really is for emergencies only, but also build in some fun money so you don't have to beat yourself up and feel horrible if you have the urge to treat yourself for something.

There's no shame in having debt. There's also no shame in it taking an age to pay off. You do need to live, love and have fun - but you don't need to make yourself feel terrible whilst you do it.

Sorry if that's unhelpful - I guess because I haven't been on everyday, when I have caught up on your diary I have seen your trying to be really strict, and then seeing lots of extra unplanned expenses.

Much love - ignore me if it's not helpful. You know you and you know what's right for you. Hugs Ramble xxx

Poor_Single_lady · 18 November 2016 at 10:55PM

That is helpful Ramble. I need to dig myself out. It will get easier in 2017 but next month I am going to put £300 into a second bank account and use this for everything. Then the original bank account will just be for bills and teeth and some minimal christmas presents.

I will get there honestly. 2017 will be so much easier with or without a bonus but the things I bought today, well I do feel bad but also that I will accommodate this next month and it will be ok. In the past i would have been out all night drinking everything and that's not happening anymore (although it is tommorow). So yes you are right ramble I can't explain very well. But I do think it is just going to be horribly hard until the loan is gone and then I will be happier and less depressing diary! im sorry if its draining i will just come to you! xx

System · 19 November 2016 at 11:18PM

It's not draining at all!

I just think you should be kinder on yourself. You will get there - but life is about now....today - not the magic "day in the future" when your debt is easier.

I think separating out money into different accounts is really helpful - this is how I try and forget I have an emergency fund! I still think you'd find YNAB really helpful. You could do their training courses and see if that helps?

I'm cream crackered - painting from 9am until 9.15pm, and managed to cook lunch and dinner as part of that too!
Hope you are having an amazing night out. Ramble x

louby40 · 20 November 2016 at 10:06PM

I agree with Ramble and although yes, we do need to get rid of our debt, we still have to live a bit.

I don't buy anything for myself. I desperately need some new work clothes but I don't want to go into debt to buy them, so I don't it. It's just not a priority to me. I'm just wearing old stuff! But I do spend money on the odd weekend away but I budget for that.

YNAB has helped me keep in budget since I started using it in July. It's brilliant as you allocate all your money to different catergories and then you know what you can sped, or not. It does take a lot of getting used to and I had to watch loads of their videos on Youtube to get it. But it does help.

If your debt is going up, you need to work out why and then stop and make it go down.

Louby x

Poor_Single_lady · 21 November 2016 at 10:39AM

Ramble you are right. The thing that worries me the most is if anything bad happened to me and my parents found out the extent of it before I can do anything. That is my main concern. Need to make sure I am here to pay it off so they never have to know.

I tried to get ynab but you need a desktop computer for the set up so I will do it at my parents house.

I think I am going to not drink alcohol till possibly christmas or the new year. I have overdone it recently and think it is an expense I can easily cut out and wont miss it. There is one usually wine heavy lunch where I can leave the alcohol and possible other hard-to-decline- future invites
But it should be doable. Nothing alcoholic for rest of week although friday is payday so probably work drinks I will sidestep. I didnt manage this before but think this would be a good move for me.

130 days of loan left.
Payments nov, dec, feb and final in march

3 days to payday. I need to request the pin on my dormant bank account.

Today is nsd.
Tommorow small food shop
Wed nsd
Thurs small lunch cost
Fri small lunch cost
Sat no plans
Sun no plans
Mon loan paid

I am living Ramble, I am going to decorate my bedroom and get quotes for new carpet to replace this time next year. This will be funded properly and planned for. Not sure if that's what you meant but it will be amazing to have it sorted and do something which i have saved for rather than plonked on a credit card or overdraft.

This is a quiet week much needed to try and get back into sensible habits.
Only 2 lunches and 2 small food shops.
Saturday non expensive plans and sunday will be low spend if any.
Getting there but slowly.

Joined 31.05.16

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