Teens and holidays

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  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
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    Not everyone is capable of managing priorities in life and tend to converge on things that are not always productive and get into routines that can be hard to break.
    This can also include things that are forced on us.
    Some activities just become addictive

    in some ways it is essential as that becomes things like school, work, bringing up kids, hobbies etc.

    In many cases the solution to breaking out of the negative cycle of a particular activity is to find things that you like doing more.

    I think your only hope is he discoverers girls.

    sunny beach holiday with loads of 1/2 naked teens.

    ........
    depends on the games,

    but often disabling the net access is counter productive as it causes tantrums.

    Far better to investigate ways to nobble it so the games don't work quite as well.(helps if the kids are not techies and realize what is happening).

    Noting puts you off network gaming quicker than not being able win or survive for long.
  • meer53
    meer53 Posts: 10,217 Forumite
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    As others have said, i think you're too soft on your son. You asked how others would deal with it, i'm a single parent too, my son is 30 and i have a teenage daughter who is 16. When my son was younger he too would have played online games all day and night if i'd have let him. My daughter has an Iphone attached to her hand, as do most teenage girls.

    It's really hard but you have to be the one in control, if that means disconnecting the wifi then thats what you have to do. If there are tantrums then so be it, it's ridiculous that a 15 year old would have a tantrum anyway but let it happen. I have previously confiscated my daughters phone for 2 weeks as a punishment for something she did, it worked a treat and all i have to do now is threaten to do it again and it has the desired result. The thing is, she knows that i WILL follow it through.

    With regard to the holiday, i second the idea of asking him to invite a friend along, i took my sons friend to Florida with us when he was 15, we all had a great time. You might find he is more enthusiastic about this idea.
  • pinkshoes
    pinkshoes Posts: 20,085 Forumite
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    I LOVE gaming, although no time for it now with three kids!

    As a teenager, gaming was limited to an hour a day (I had an Amiga 500 with 1Mb upgrade!!!). If I wanted extra gaming time I had to earn it, which involved doing everything expected of me without fuss plus lots of extra stuff like helping with food shopping, cooking etc...

    I suggest you start with some clear boundaries and expectations of what he is and isn't allowed to do.

    If he is going to have a tantrum, let him! If he has been calling the shots since he was thirteen, what sort of adult so he going to be??

    YOU are the parent and need to parent him.

    TELL him the two of you are going on holiday, and that he needs to help decide where you are going. Pick an evening where you will plan and book it. No gaming until the holiday is booked.

    Sorry if this sounds harsh, but as a teacher I get so sick of kids who blatantly call the shots at home, and are often rude and quite frankly vile.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,508 Forumite
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    It all sounds right pinkshoes but OP made it clear she lost that battle. Sometimes there is only so much we can do and knowing we should have done more does not change it.
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • Jojo_the_Tightfisted
    Jojo_the_Tightfisted Posts: 27,228 Forumite
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    I forgot to add 'and change the WiFi password before you go'
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll :D
  • Loz01
    Loz01 Posts: 1,848 Forumite
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    Why are you letting your holidays be dictated by a 15 year old?? Tell him the option is A or B, if he doesn't like either, you go and he can stay with his grandparents. Why should you miss out because he can't be bothered?

    As for the X-Box.... just unplug it. He'll have an almighty fit but you need to take some control back or before you know it you'll blink and 5 years will have gone by and he'll still be sitting there gaming but he'll be an adult with even LESS motivation to go outside
  • pinkshoes
    pinkshoes Posts: 20,085 Forumite
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    justme111 wrote: »
    It all sounds right pinkshoes but OP made it clear she lost that battle. Sometimes there is only so much we can do and knowing we should have done more does not change it.

    The battle is not lost. It needs continuing rather than giving up on.

    If we all gave up on teenagers then society would be a sad place.

    It is never too late.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,508 Forumite
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    I here you and agree with you (while preying I would not have to face similar predicament) Op given up though. She can not. She asks what she can do given that she can not.
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • Caroline_a
    Caroline_a Posts: 4,071 Forumite
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    Op, if your son is spending so much time on gaming he is going to fail his GCSEs. And I have to say, that would partly be your fault for not stamping down on this. It could affect his whole future, and by being weak and giving in you are not being a proper parent. I am sure there are many parents on here who have had teenagers melt-downs and tantrums, but have taken the tough line and stood firm.

    Sorry, that's what you should be doing on a day to day basis, never mind holiday selections.
  • Rosemary7391
    Rosemary7391 Posts: 2,879 Forumite
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    Caroline_a wrote: »
    Op, if your son is spending so much time on gaming he is going to fail his GCSEs. And I have to say, that would partly be your fault for not stamping down on this. It could affect his whole future, and by being weak and giving in you are not being a proper parent. I am sure there are many parents on here who have had teenagers melt-downs and tantrums, but have taken the tough line and stood firm.

    Sorry, that's what you should be doing on a day to day basis, never mind holiday selections.

    The bold might be true, but it might not be. I'd suggest that the OP needs to be very sure that is the case if that's the line they're going to use. It would've been counterproductive for me because I didn't fail my GCSEs, and wouldn't have even if I'd spent more time online. It's important that things you say are true, otherwise it undermines the credibility of everything else.
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