Regifting issue...

VintageBelle · 22 December 2017 at 2:29PM

Some things she keeps and others she doesn't. She regifts wine and chocolate that people buy her as she doesn't drink and is diabetic so they are two things I would never have got her.
I didn't know she wouldn't like toiletries because we all have to shower. I got her hand creams for Christmas as she moans about how dry her hands get but as she has basically thrown the toiletries back in face I'm assuming as this is also a toiletry set that she will reject these too. I had already got them before she gave my gift back to me, so it was too late I wasn't to know that she wouldn't want toiletries either.

I don't she was hinting anything by giving the gift back to me. I just think she has been too ignorant to even remember or appreciate what people have bought her in the past.
I would never deliberately give people a gift I didn't think they'd want. I'm not that stupid (or rich) trust me and I try to put as much thought as possible into gifts I give. She doesn't get on with many people we work with, I'm the only person that buys her something and it's becoming clear why!

Next year I will have a big rethink!

Fen1 · 22 December 2017 at 4:09PM

Just a note on toiletries and hand creams. They are actually a very personal choice: one person may be able to use anything, whilst another won't. Fragrance is a very personal thing, she may really not like that particular smell. Also, ingredients are very important. Some people are very sensitive or even allergic to certain ingredients.
I once bought some items from a brand that I particularly like, not thinking about the ingredients as they were not present in my usual buys. I was wrong. This particular product contained an allergen. More fool me for not double-checking the ingredients on every product.

Pollycat · 22 December 2017 at 7:39PM

Fen1 wrote: »

Just a note on toiletries and hand creams. They are actually a very personal choice: one person may be able to use anything, whilst another won't. Fragrance is a very personal thing, she may really not like that particular smell. Also, ingredients are very important. Some people are very sensitive or even allergic to certain ingredients.
I once bought some items from a brand that I particularly like, not thinking about the ingredients as they were not present in my usual buys. I was wrong. This particular product contained an allergen. More fool me for not double-checking the ingredients on every product.

This ^^^^ is very sensible.
I'm very careful about what toiletry stuff I buy for people.
I have friends with allergies (some severe) and some with expensive tastes who just wouldn't appreciate M&S, Next or Superdrug stuff.

I have bought for the above people some bee lip balm that contains only bees wax and honey (from a local company), this will be a 'extra gift in your Xmas bag' and if it doesn't suit, they can give it back to me - and will know that I won't be offended.

Why do people who don't know enough about this woman to know that she's diabetic and doesn't drink wine buy her inappropriate gifts?
If it was me, I'd rather not have gifts at all, rather than a 'oh, this will do for x'.

Spendless · 23 December 2017 at 5:18AM

I know you're 99.99% sure she's re-gifted the item you got her back in October, but since you haven't opened it, I think I would do that first. Just so, I was 100% sure and didn't discover yes it was the same thing but in a different colour or fragrance.

Once you have established that, I think 2 things, she's forgotten who it was who gave her it and there's a reason why she doesn't like or can't use the gift.

If you want to carry on buying for her, I'd either go with some of the suggestions already given or 'lead her' into a conversation about her likes/dislikes to give you some ideas.

peachyprice · 23 December 2017 at 12:29PM

I'd open it, rewrap it and re-gift it right back to her.

VintageBelle · 28 December 2017 at 11:31PM

I had already opened it. I knew exactly what it was so opened it as soon as I got in, I just didn't mention that to her as I won't normally open presents until Christmas day. She's not sensitive to ingredients as we've talked about things like that before. I brought it up with her in a jokey way and she said 'oh sorry I found it in my cupboard and thought who can I give that too!!!'. I think I'll suggest next year that we simply don't bother.

Pollycat · 29 December 2017 at 9:14AM

VintageBelle wrote: »

I had already opened it. I knew exactly what it was so opened it as soon as I got in, I just didn't mention that to her as I won't normally open presents until Christmas day. She's not sensitive to ingredients as we've talked about things like that before. I brought it up with her in a jokey way and she said 'oh sorry I found it in my cupboard and thought who can I give that too!!!'. I think I'll suggest next year that we simply don't bother.

I think you've missed a trick.

I'd have told her (not just suggested) that next year you will not be buying a Christmas present for her and will not want one in return.

This is not a special friend you're talking about here, it's a work colleague.

7roland8 · 29 December 2017 at 1:25PM

VintageBelle wrote: »

I had already opened it. I knew exactly what it was so opened it as soon as I got in, I just didn't mention that to her as I won't normally open presents until Christmas day. She's not sensitive to ingredients as we've talked about things like that before. I brought it up with her in a jokey way and she said 'oh sorry I found it in my cupboard and thought who can I give that too!!!'. I think I'll suggest next year that we simply don't bother.

Well I can see she meant no harm but she must have a very short memory!

Katiehound · 29 December 2017 at 5:00PM

Time for a
"I've bought a mosquito net / goat/ 20 polio injections in your name which will really help children in x country"
or a "Let's go out for a birthday / Christmas afternoon tea / lunch/ dinner" chat......
and tell her now, or tell her that one of yor new year resolutions is to end present buying for everyone except immediate family members.

pennystretcher · 30 December 2017 at 2:10PM

I re-gift some items I get, but I always put a post-it note on top of the item saying who I got it from, so it doesn't go back to the same person

Regifting issue...

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