Millionaire Challenge

Apologies for my Elitist comments many post back.
Just jealously raising it's ugly head in our constant penny pinching daily struggle.
Good luck to you all.
Me?
Green with envy?
Most definitely!!!

Hi.

Yes plenty of humble pie for me til i throw up!
Also a bit of salt and pepper garnished on my foot!

We can't join in.
If only.
We are a family of three children and a crazy, loveable dog.
My better half is disabled and so is my Mum so i had to give up work years ago.
Every penny we get, which is given by the state, is stretched to the limit.
We don't drink, we don't smoke, and as for going out being a couple....what is that??!!

We get by.
The kids do not go without out.
Them's the cards that life deals.

Good morning everyone.

Kay.....what fantastic news about your house sale. Fingers crossed for a nice straightforward process through to completion.

Andy. How nice you came back. I know things are rough for you right now but don't despair, the wheel of life turns and we never know what the future has in store for us.

Please don't think I'm being flippant or patronising but I have been in your Position so I do have some idea of how difficult life is for you. I too was a carer for my sick husband and had responsibility for organising my parents end of life care, although dad was a stubborn old geezer so I couldn't do much for him.

I spent the best part of 9 years caring for my husband and then a further two years watching over my parents. It was grim at times so I do empathise with you.

There are bound to be times when you feel frustrated and yes even angry. You would have to be a saint not to. I know I felt a range of emotions and believe me I am no saint!!! But trust me when I say this don't let the green eyed monster rule you. Jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions there is, it will eat you up and destroy you if you let it.

It's especially hard when money is so tight and there is little opportunity to work your way out of your situation because you are so restricted with your caring duties and obligations.

The bald simple truth is being sick and disabled costs money and there's rarely enough to go round. STate provision is at best meagre and patchy. For many years we received nothing from the State, hence racking up £30k in debt, my starting point when I joined MSE.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I gave up a lucrative career to care for my loved ones. Looking back I'm not so sure it was the right decision. Because I was "available" the State let me get on with it. I should have fought harder and made the State assume more responsibility for his care sooner than I did. I found out the hard way that one person cannot give 24 hour care without help and support. It nearly destroyed me and I am still paying the price with my own damaged health.

I made a lot of mistakes and if I had my time again I would do things very differently.

I don't mean to patronise but here are a couple of things that did help me......

Firstly I learned to "live in the now" not thinking about the future or dwelling on the past. I just tried to live each day as it came. I knew my husbands illness was terminal so I vowed to make the most of the time we had left and I focussed on him.

I learned to take pleasure in simple things, and derived comfort from nature.

On fine days I would wheel my husband out into the garden, we would sit and look at the flowers and he would "supervise" me as I pottered about the garden. When he got too sick to sit up I would lie him back in his reclining wheelchair so he could watched the clouds and feel the sun in his face.

We used to sit on a warm evening and watch the sunset and then stargaze. In the winter we would watch TV together or DVDs. When he got too sick to read I would read to him, and help him to do crossword puzzles and word games.

All of these activities are free and there are many other things you can do that are either free or low cost. It all depends on the level of your wife and your mothers disability of course. Towards the end my husband was Paralysed from the neck down and unable to communicate verbally (imagine Stephen Hawkins) so our choices were very limited but I managed to keep him happy and amused.

Good luck to you in this very trying phase of your life.

Great news Caz hope all goes to plan!

Oh we've also booked a wedding venue... £1000 deposit to pay next week! Ouch!