Mobile phone at aged 9?

1910111214

Comments

  • emsywoo123
    emsywoo123 Posts: 5,440 Forumite
    .maybe this is something to do with the situ on the other thread you have posted on? Just thinking out loud...maybe the parents have a perception of what the child/you are like??

    care to explain?
  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite
    Tina20 wrote: »

    My best friends dad always said 'no phone till your 16' and would phone ME aged 12 to speak to his daughter. He relied on me to know where she was but wouldn't let her have a phone? Madness. He also would let her make 45 minute bus journeys in the dark because he didn't see the need to come and pick her up from my house....
    ?

    And did anything terrible ever happen to her? I presume not, or you would have mentioned it...
  • emsywoo123
    emsywoo123 Posts: 5,440 Forumite
    Just to draw a line under things from my perspective, I understand that some people do not understand why I let DD have iPhone. I don't expect everyone to understand, nor am I particularly concerned that some of you have a clearly low opinion of me for allowing this.

    Everyone has the right to voice their opinions on here, even if I personally think some people have been a little aggressive in their tone.

    I equally have the right to not explain to all and sundry my parenting decisions, nor expect the particularly disgusting PM I received in my inbox. I have reported it, but as it was from a "new user" one can only assume an AE.

    The vast majority of us do the best for our children, none of us get it 100% right, but we do what we can.

    I knew I would be in the firing line for my decision, not because *I* think it is the wrong one for DD, but because I know it is not the norm. That doesn't mean I don't get upset about the hurtful things in my inbox!

    Therefore, on this occasion, I'm out :D
  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite
    What would you suggest they do in those two years between 11-13 when they have started secondary school and are expected to find their independence. Just send them out in the world with no way of communicating with their parents?
    .

    What, like generations and generations of kids have done (including yourself, I presume) up until about 10 years ago, and been fine?
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Forumite
    daisiegg wrote: »
    What, like generations and generations of kids have done (including yourself, I presume) up until about 10 years ago, and been fine?


    Of course we were fine, but we had no choice did we?

    We were sent out making sure we had enough change in our purse/pocket to use the phone boxes that were on most street corners and everyone's numbers written down.

    But guess what, there's been this great technological advance since then (just as well as phone boxes are very few and far between now) that means we don't have to make sure we have change and a list of numbers, we can carry a mobile that does the same job.

    I really can't see the reasoning in deliberately sending an 11yo with very little means of communication ( there are NO phone boxes now between home and DS's school) and making them wait until they are 13. What magically happens at 13 that measn they now deserve to be able to contact their parents easily?
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • System
    System Posts: 178,077
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Community Admin
    My son had his first phone at 13. We didnt buy it him specially, he just had my old one with a new sim in and the occasional £10 phone top up. He rarely used it. Each time my husband or i upgraded our phones, he had the old one apart from last christmas when he had his own smartphone. He was 16 in the January.

    I am amazed at the amount of people he is friends with who's parents have bought their kids new phones and contracts to go with them. My son is on PAYG and it will stay that way until he can afford to pay for his own contract.

    Dad gives him £10 a week which he uses to pay for his World Of Warcraft subscription and his phone top up. Originally the £10 was supposed to cover his bus fares to and from school. I think he valued his WOW and his phone top ups more! He's been told, if he wants more money he's going to have to earn it.
  • daisiegg
    daisiegg Posts: 5,395 Forumite

    I really can't see the reasoning in deliberately sending an 11yo with very little means of communication ( there are NO phone boxes now between home and DS's school) and making them wait until they are 13. What magically happens at 13 that measn they now deserve to be able to contact their parents easily?

    I don't know, it wasn't me that mentioned the age 13!

    For what it's worth, I have no children and when I do, I very probably will end up giving them mobile phones at what I consider to be ridiculously young ages because, as you say, there are virtually no phone boxes nowadays.

    But what I worry about is the reliance on them (that adults have too, myself included!) that means people don't consider how they'd cope in a crisis if the phone wasn't working/had run out of battery/had no signal/etc. I think some kids feel invincible because they know they have their mobile phone (as evidenced by the girls in my school who are convinced they won't make it home in one piece without their phone) and they have no idea how they'd cope without it - they haven't even thought about it, or been talked to about it by their parents. I'm sure everyone posting on here who has given their young child a mobile phone has ALSO discussed what they'd do if there was a problem and they weren't able to use their phone....but I'm also sure not EVERY parent who gives their child a phone does this. Some must feel they've done their duty keeping their child safe and nothing bad can happen just because they have a phone in their pocket. This often comes up in school particularly in PSHEE lessons when talking about different situations kids might be faced with and the first thing that ALWAYS comes up is "Well, I'd just phone [insert appropriate person here]". They can't get their heads around the question "What if you didn't have a phone?" because the answer is "But I do!" (I teach PSHEE to my Y8 form so they are 12 and 13).

    I also worry about the fact that children are being told (by their parents) that they NEED a mobile phone for 'safety' - because that's implying that the world is a terribly scary and unsafe place, so if they suddenly realised they were out and they'd forgotten their phone or it wasn't working, they'd feel alone and terrified in this horrible scary world. When in reality they'd probably be absolutely fine. Also, children will never have to think for themselves or work their way through a problem if they have the means to just phone up mummy or daddy at the drop of a hat, 24/7. I would imagine that some kids don't just end up phoning in a terrible crisis, but probably at the slightest little thing that's not quite as planned, which otherwise they would have to deal with on their own (and would be able to).

    Anyway, I want to reiterate that a) I'm not a parent (just a step-parent-to-be and a teacher) and b) I'm not trying to imply that anyone on this thread who has given their child a phone is a bad parent and hasn't done anything else to prepare them for the world and give them life skills. I'm sure you have because you all sound like sane, intelligent people. I'm just not sure that every parent who gives their child a phone does.
  • meer53
    meer53 Posts: 10,217
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    jamespir wrote: »
    kids under the age of thirteen shouldnt have phone's full stop
    especially not an iphone or blackberry theres no need plus they dont really have anyone to call

    as for leaving your eight year old alone in the house that is illegal even if it is for 20 minutes

    It's not illegal to leave a child aged 8 alone. There is no legal age.

    My daughter has dozens of friends and family who she calls regularly.

    What does it matter what sort of phone they have ? Whats wrong with an Iphone or Blackberry ?
  • hislan
    hislan Posts: 72 Forumite
    I'm hoping my mum will buy me an iPhone 4s!



    (I'm 39!)
  • ammonite
    ammonite Posts: 1,429
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    I was probably one of the first kids in school to have a phone way back in the late 90s. I was about 14 I think. It was a hand me down brick but it allowed me to contact my Mum when I needed to (and as hardly anyone else had a phone, I had no worries of running up big bills). It was good later on when I started going out to town, she just asked me to text her every so often and text to say I was in the taxi on the way home which I was happy to do. From a safety aspect, it was brilliant and I'd be happy to get my child a phone for that reason.

    As for kids not having iPhones, it is a personal choice. For me, iPhones have huge learning potential for children, yes they are expensive devices, but so are laptops and V-tech educational hand held games from the Early Learning Centre. If iPhones couldn't make phone calls and weren't made by Apple, I suspect they'd be much more popular with parents as educational tools for their kids.

    It depends what and why you want your child to have a phone really I guess.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards