Reclaim tax (rebate) from more than 4 years ago

In the 08/09 tax year, I’d been paying tax at my full time job up until November when I totally ceased earning (my husband is in the military and we were sent out of the country last minute). I believe I should have been due a tax rebate at the end of that tax year as I’d been paying tax/NI at a rate presuming that I’d continue earning a full time wage throughout the rest of the tax year, but, because we were out of the country, it never occurred to me. I’m certain that I should be due all/most of my tax back as I would only have slightly exceeded my personal allowance, if I reached it at all. I’ve been in contact with HMRC recently about it and they said you can only claim within 4 years. I’m sure though that if I owed them money from 8 years ago they’d have absolutely no problem with chasing me for it! So, I wondered if there is a way to claim a rebate > 4 years ago? Has anybody ever been successful in doing so? Obviously HMRC could have tried to contact me at the time, but because I was out of the country any letter wouldn’t have reached me.