Money Moral Dilemma: Should we have paid for restaurant owner's birthday meal?

135678

Comments

  • notken
    notken Posts: 82
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    You could send them a bill for the Champagne you gave her...
  • SailorSam wrote: »
    I've got a relative who was getting married in Cyprus, i didn't want to go and told her but she insisted as we're not a big family she wanted me there. I gave in to the pressure and it cost me just short of £1000. I felt, well i still feel if she wanted such an expensive wedding she should consider her guests more.

    What's not being a big family got to do with it? Why is the bride deciding for you whether or not you can afford to attend an expensive wedding abroad? Cheek! My brother's wife's family actually hand out lists of what they want bought for their children's birthday and xmas presents, expensive stuff, then say their children get given so much that they (the parents) don't need to buy them much! Double cheek! My sister-in-law is very embarrassed and my brother extremely annoyed, but they also give in to pressure and buy what's expected. What is it about families that we give in like this? Wish I could find out so I'll stop doing it myself!
  • JuceLuce
    JuceLuce Posts: 6 Forumite
    If one of my friends had a restaurant and invited me to a birthday meal there, I would sort of assume that the meal was free - basically because she is getting the food at cost prices and then charging her friends a fortune. She is making a huge profit here. None of my friends would do this. If you were invited to a friend's house, you wouldn't expect to leave cash at the door - you would take a gift to compensate, as this person has done.

    Even if you were a little unsure and had some expectation in your mind that you might have to pay a contribution towards it - I think £150 is extortion. But I agree that at the time you would be in shock and would not want to kick up a fuss, especially if no one else was. (I assume that no one else did?).

    I do think it is too late to say something now, as there is no point. As someone said, chalk it up to experience and do not go back to the restaurant out of protest. Hopefully they will get the message.
  • kboss2010
    kboss2010 Posts: 1,466
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    I went to a wedding recently where the bride wanted to put a "suggested donation" amount on her invites of £50 per guest towards a wedding gift they had chosen - thank heavens someone pointed out how incredibly rude that was.
    “I want to be a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum'Coz how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?" ~ Dr A. TappingI'm finding my way back to sanity again... but I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there~ LifehouseWhat’s fur ye will make go by ye… but also what’s not fur ye, ye can jist scroll on by!
  • Any
    Any Posts: 7,944
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    roses wrote: »
    Outrageous! If I'd been invited to a friends birthday at their own restaurant I think most people would assume they would not have to pay for the meal.

    Chalk it up to experience. Bring it up if the time ever becomes appropriate but it doesn't sound like she was a real friend to treat you in that manner.

    Exactly this!
    And to charge you 15% service charge for what seems to be her own Bday party?
    Sorry, I would completely avoid this 'friend' for ever more.
    I think this situation is completely different to going out gor Bday meal with friends..
    It's more like inviting friends to your home and charge them £10 + corking fee every person in the middle of the door before they enter!
    Without notice!
  • I'm having a party on Firday, do you want to come?
  • Any
    Any Posts: 7,944
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    It's only money and surely friendship is more important !!!

    I completely agree.
    That is exactly what she should have told herself when she decided to make massive profit from her friends and make sure she never gets any guests to her Birthday parties again..
  • Reaper
    Reaper Posts: 7,277
    First Anniversary First Post Photogenic
    Forumite
    notken wrote: »
    You could send them a bill for the Champagne you gave her...
    ... plus a delivery charge
  • Sooler
    Sooler Posts: 3,108
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    She’s no friend, she took you as mugs. You’ve been fleeced.

    As it involved her business, leave a review an Tripadvisor.
  • jaybizzl
    jaybizzl Posts: 13 Forumite
    I have a couple of friends with gastro pubs/restaurants and they will always make it clear when they invite "come on over for dinner ON US" but quite often we will still insist on paying something - a small amount that covers costs of things in general, not prices.

    As your wife and her friend are both new to this perhaps chalk it up to experience and be more clear in future.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards