My cat died alone and I feel so guilty :(

McKneff · 12 January 2018 at 4:19PM

He would just drifted off to sleep and breathing slowed and eventually stopped. He would have felt nothing . Dont beat yourself up. Ive been doing this for 6 months now and this post has helped enormously

MysteryMe · 12 January 2018 at 10:04PM

I am sorry for everyone's loss of much loved pets in this way. No matter how rational we try to be, there is always guilt and what ifs even though we did what was best for them. My last parrot had been at the Vet undergoing treatment and sadly died during the night. I had had him for 20 years and devastated that I was not there in his final hour. I did appreciate that the Vet took the trouble to ring me himself with the news. There was nothing anyone could have done, he was in expert care. It was 6 years ago and even now as I type this I have a tear in my eye as it brings back the memories of how awful I felt at the time.

cottage_retreatist · 13 January 2018 at 11:27AM

Thank you all for your very kind words and I'm so sorry to hear about your beautiful fur (and feather) babies. I am going to see him tomorrow so I can say a proper goodbye, I suppose it currently feels just so unreal, and then I suppose the healing has to start?

My other cat who was so close to him, has started looking round the house for him so I am giving her lots of hugs right now. It just feel so weird not having a beautiful black beauty in my house, and I know if I get another it won't be him even if it looks like him. He was so unique and the perfect companion.

cottage_retreatist · 14 January 2018 at 9:51PM

So, sorry to update but it makes me feel a bit better to talk to you all. I went to see him today. His poor little body laid out on the table. He was my baby still, but what made him 'him' has left. But somehow it has helped me come to terms with the fact he has really definitely gone. If that doesn't sound too weird? I am still heartbroken but I have got over the shock though it is still so raw.

We can collect him again in 10 weeks and then have him cremated. I will need to start looking for a pet crematorium. He was so beautiful it broke my heart seeing his little body lying there, so cold and lifeless.

London_Mum · 21 January 2018 at 9:52PM

cats often go away to die, they don't want people to be present.
"Unlike people, cats do not anticipate or know about death as we do, so they are not fearing what might happen. Cats are drawing from their evolutionary past in going away to be alone to die, as in the wild there might be larger predators they need to hide from." says Pet Bereavement Counsellor, Dr Sue Dawson.

I grew up with outdoor cats and none of them died at home, they went away. We found one of them months after disappearance, curled up in the box of sand, and he looked so peaceful, as if he fell asleep. We think he got poisoned and wanted to die alone, that's what cats do. Your cat died alone and it is not necessarily a bad thing for the cat... I understand that it doesn't help your grief though.

Donating to a cat welfare charity, making a memory book or planting a tree could be ways for you to honour your cat's memory and say goodbye.

Bath_cube · 8 February 2018 at 1:30AM

I'm so with you on this. My cat died in early June last year. I had Tiggy since August 1998 and I was heart broken. She was showing signs of being ill the evening before. I had to shower her as she wet herself badly that evening. I got her dry and she went in her cat bed and was purring away in our dining room. I got up the next morning and she was still awake purring but didn't want any food and she had her water bowl near her bed. She meowed and looked at my OH I now know she was saying goodbye to him. I was off that day so I gave her a cuddle and went back to bed. When I got up a few hours later I thought it was quiet as she always me owed loudly if she wanted me. I went into the dining room and there she was on her side in her bed with eyes and mouth open. I will never forgive myself and I always wonder if she called out for me and I will never know now. I won't be adopting another as I think I never deserved tiggy for doing this.she seen me through a house move, my gran and mums death and various upsets. When she was younger and living at our previous house she ran through neighbouring gardens to follow me if she was outside and cried for me then ran back home.

cottage_retreatist · 22 February 2018 at 12:48PM

Bath_cube wrote: »

I'm so with you on this. My cat died in early June last year. I had Tiggy since August 1998 and I was heart broken. She was showing signs of being ill the evening before. I had to shower her as she wet herself badly that evening. I got her dry and she went in her cat bed and was purring away in our dining room. I got up the next morning and she was still awake purring but didn't want any food and she had her water bowl near her bed. She meowed and looked at my OH I now know she was saying goodbye to him. I was off that day so I gave her a cuddle and went back to bed. When I got up a few hours later I thought it was quiet as she always me owed loudly if she wanted me. I went into the dining room and there she was on her side in her bed with eyes and mouth open. I will never forgive myself and I always wonder if she called out for me and I will never know now. I won't be adopting another as I think I never deserved tiggy for doing this.she seen me through a house move, my gran and mums death and various upsets. When she was younger and living at our previous house she ran through neighbouring gardens to follow me if she was outside and cried for me then ran back home.

Bath Cube, I'm so sorry to hear about your poor kitty. I understand what you mean about them being there for you. Sinbad was there for my husband when he lost his father to dementia and losing him has had a double effect on him and brought back all the sorrow of that happening. I am still upset. Is it terrible to say I cry for him still?

We still haven't been able to properly say goodbye to him. It is 5 more weeks before we can collect him and then we want to do an individual cremation for him. But we are thinking about bringing him home first so the other kitties know we didn't give him away or abandon him.

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts xx

bugslet · 22 February 2018 at 3:59PM

May I ask why it's so long before you can pick your lovely kitty up? It seems a long time - sorry if I've missed something.

I regret not letting Ruby see her half-sister had died at the vets - ended up being very sudden and a rush and I didn't give it a thought, but she definitley got a little low and I think it would have helped to have known what happened. Animals - why do we do it to ourselves:o.

Iamzee · 24 February 2018 at 12:02AM

I am sorry for your loss. Don't be too hard on your self. You did your best..

cottage_retreatist · 24 February 2018 at 1:55PM

bugslet wrote: »

May I ask why it's so long before you can pick your lovely kitty up? It seems a long time - sorry if I've missed something.

I regret not letting Ruby see her half-sister had died at the vets - ended up being very sudden and a rush and I didn't give it a thought, but she definitley got a little low and I think it would have helped to have known what happened. Animals - why do we do it to ourselves:o.

Hi bugslet, its because he died while being treated for hyperthyroid so he's radioactive

which means he needs to be at a safe radioactive level for us to bring him home. Not too long now though, less than 4 weeks to go! I agree - we give them all our love don't we? I always think about when they leave us but its always so much worse but I keep rescuing them!

My cat died alone and I feel so guilty :(

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