Concerns About Friends Behaviour

Bath_cube
Bath_cube Posts: 188 Forumite
in Marriage, relationships & families
I'm sorry if this post might sound offensive on here but I do require some advice asap. My OH goes out on Fridays by himself (which is fine by me no problem). He doesnt go to meet anyone specifically he just chats to most people he knows in a local public house. Since last summer a man has sort of latched on to my OH and is showing some strange behaviour. He has told my OH he is bisexual but prefers men and that he thinks my OH is hiding his true feelings towards him this was before Christmas. This man seems peculiar he lives round the corner from this public house but insisted on getting in a taxi home with my OH and watched my OH going into our house. When my OH told him no I'm not interested in you sexually he appeared very upset and my OH told him it was best he didn't contact or see him again given his feelings. Since this happened my OH has gone somewhere different and last Saturday we went out together as normal in a quiet nice bar. This man came in and stared right at me then went to the bar and stormed up to my OH. He asked my OH why was he ignoring him and asked out loud if it was because of me. When I went over to see what was wrong this man got really annoyed and was fuming under his breath. I told him to go and he stormed off. He rang my OH the following evening and told him not to ignore him. I was coming home from work yesterday and he approache'd me as I was getting my keys out of my bag. He told me he had had sex with my OH and he isnt happy with you. I told him to go or I will call the police and he put his face next to mine. When my OH got home I asked him about this and he said it's all lies and this bloke has become obsessed with him. He phoned him in front of me and told him not to bother either of us. What can I do if he approaches me again or follows us into the bar we go to?. It looks like he wants to stir it out of jealousy.
«134567…11

Comments

  • z1a
    z1a Posts: 2,522 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    I would get police involved now. If OH is against this, I would be wondering why.
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,171 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Bath_cube wrote: »
    I'm sorry if this post might sound offensive on here but I do require some advice asap.

    My OH goes out on Fridays by himself (which is fine by me no problem). He doesnt go to meet anyone specifically he just chats to most people he knows in a local public house.

    Since last summer a man has sort of latched on to my OH and is showing some strange behaviour. He has told my OH he is bisexual but prefers men and that he thinks my OH is hiding his true feelings towards him this was before Christmas.

    This man seems peculiar he lives round the corner from this public house but insisted on getting in a taxi home with my OH and watched my OH going into our house. When my OH told him no I'm not interested in you sexually he appeared very upset and my OH told him it was best he didn't contact or see him again given his feelings.

    Since this happened my OH has gone somewhere different and last Saturday we went out together as normal in a quiet nice bar. This man came in and stared right at me then went to the bar and stormed up to my OH. He asked my OH why was he ignoring him and asked out loud if it was because of me. When I went over to see what was wrong this man got really annoyed and was fuming under his breath. I told him to go and he stormed off. He rang my OH the following evening and told him not to ignore him.

    I was coming home from work yesterday and he approache'd me as I was getting my keys out of my bag. He told me he had had sex with my OH and he isnt happy with you. I told him to go or I will call the police and he put his face next to mine. When my OH got home I asked him about this and he said it's all lies and this bloke has become obsessed with him. He phoned him in front of me and told him not to bother either of us.

    What can I do if he approaches me again or follows us into the bar we go to?. It looks like he wants to stir it out of jealousy.

    I have no advice as unsure, but makes it easier to read for others.
  • lika_86
    lika_86 Posts: 1,770 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    How did/does he have your OH's number?

    There are two options - either he has boundary and perhaps mental health issues or he's telling the full or partial truth.

    Unless there's a legitimate reason why he has your OH's phone number I'd be inclined towards believing the latter. Most men (and women) I know wouldn't give their number to someone they know casually without a reason.
  • Bath_cube
    Bath_cube Posts: 188 Forumite
    There is no question of my OH being gay or unfaithful with any man or woman. I do not believe this man at all. Quite a few of my OH friends or colleagues have his number. Someone from my OH's usual pub have said they have heard this man was recently sacked from his job has a home care assistant because he was stealing from a elderly man. Also he did something inappropriate to a young boy on another street he lived on. He is sorry looking thin with a strange gait and affected by severe rosacea. I don't want to waste the time of the emergency services unnecessarily. This man must have formed some kind of unrequited thing on my OH ( whom I am married to). He was furious when I walked up to him in that bar, he must see me as a obstacle. Me and my OH have been together 20 years this April and yes we have had our tiffs like anyone does but no way do I think he has been unfaithful with this man or anyone. I'm just glad our son doesn't live with us to see this.
  • Ms_Chocaholic
    Ms_Chocaholic Posts: 12,595 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    I'm confused as to how this person got your OH's number? Were they friends before he started acting strangely.
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
  • chesky
    chesky Posts: 1,341 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    Contact the police.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Sounds rather like your "uncle" - or was it cousin? I get a trifle confused with all the strange people in your social circle!
  • HampshireH
    HampshireH Posts: 4,473 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Doesn't sound like calling the police is unnecessary to be honest

    * he is watching you and knows when you return home

    * He is in the same place as you and your OH on a night out

    * He intimidated you on your doorstep

    * He is making false allegations (what else could he lie about..... it could be quite damaging)

    It's harassment.
  • Nicki
    Nicki Posts: 8,166 Forumite
    Blue lass. You're back :D
  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    Nicki wrote: »
    Blue lass. You're back :D

    You know I was just thinking today we needed a new bluelass thread to liven the place up, and lo and behold we have one :rotfl:
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173K Life & Family
  • 247.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards