Quit everything , and start again over 50?

another_casualty · 1 November 2015 at 1:18PM

I suppose I 've reached a crossroads in my life . My health was always good. I'm from the old school of never taking time off work etc.

I do love Twickenham , but I'm lost there these days . The pubs are not what they used to be .There are many , but some have the Jeremy Kyle factor.Then again , being skint means I haven't drunk in there for a couple of years. There are no music pubs around .
If I could get rid of the overdraft , then I have breathing space to really think with a clearer head what to decide .
I'm fed up being the opposite of what I used to be .( work/ go home/ work). I am thinking of dating again , maybe that's the answer.
I sound so sad

lessonlearned · 2 November 2015 at 4:17AM

Another casualty.....

Tbh your username says it all about your current mindset. I think you need to change it into something a little more positive and upbeat.......;)

And yes you do sound sad, and no I don't think dating is the answer.

You need to sort yourself out first because the vibes You currently give out don't exactly make you sound like a babe magnet........

Actually - all joking apart - you are in a very strong position.

I think you just can't see the wood for the trees.

Ive run some numbers and your situation is actually very rosy.

£300k equity is a cracking good place to start from if you are prepared to move out of London and seek new pastures.

London is not the be all and end all of existence - especially if you can't even afford to go out for a drink in your local. There are lots of areas across the UK that shape up better and where you will have a much better quality of life than that which you are currently enduring.

By your own admission you are not really living, you are just existing, doing a job that gives you no satisfaction and living in a place that gives you no joy. For what. You are the wrong side of 50 suffering from ill health, working long hours and only just scraping by.

You can do so much better than that but it would entail some upheaval.

Anyway - the numbers.........

£300k could buy you a nice liittle house for around £150k, mortgage free.

£150k invested at 3 per cent gives you £4500 per year.

A part time job say - 25 hours at £7.20 - the new minimum wage from next April - would bring in £9360 pa before tax.

Your gross income would be £13860, which if you are mortgage free would be plenty.

Let's assume around £100 per month council tax, £150 for utilities and water rates, £12 for tv licence, £30 for house insurance, total £292, call it £300 for good measure. Add food and miscellaneous, say £200 and you are looking at £500 a month for essential day to day living.

That's only £6k per annum. Plenty left for a little car, phone, broadband, entertainment and holidays.

You could be sitting very pretty. No stress, no money worries, and working fewer hours so that you can rest and manage your health better. You might even have some time and energy to play music again, maybe even - in the words of Rod Stewart "find a rock and roll band, that needs a helping hand".........;)

You really are quite fortunate in that because you have assets you can put to good use you have choice and opportunities.

My advice?

Sell up, get out of London and start living.

Civilisation doesn't end at Watford Gap.

another_casualty · 2 November 2015 at 9:44AM

I love your total honesty lesson learned. I can't disagree with anything you said

I've just gotta find the right area to go to . Very daunting on my own .
You'd think with the equity I have , I wouldn't be struggling for help with my overdraft .
Next year could be a very decisive year for my future .

lessonlearned · 2 November 2015 at 12:02PM

Good morning AC.

I refuse to call You Another Casualty - it smacks of victim hood ...........

time to change that, for once and for all.

Ok so you have been dealt a duff card with your illness, but it is only a game changer not a death sentence.

My late husband was given a death sentence when he was 49 and he stretched it out till he was 57. He died just 15 mo ths ago so I know all about being forced to make a fresh start and how difficult IT canbe to build a new life,

One thing in all this......you are not alone.

You arent the first and you certainly won't the last.

I'm busy today but would be happy to post later to continue our discussion with some ideas of how to get you started on your journey to a new and better life, as indeed im sure will other posters.

If you've truly had your "lightbulb moment" then we can help you move forward.

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to grasp that nettle and start building a new future.

Your first task is to change that depressing user name and drop the mantle of "victim hood".

I did this.....I decided to drop the mantle of "widowhood" and start thinking of myself as someone who just happens to be single. It sounds daft but it makes a difference.

With a Positive Mental Attitude (pma) you can move mountains.

And.........before anyone comments..........no I'm not dating and Ihave no intention of dating. :rotfl:

I'm just rebuilding my life, one step at a time........

So AC get your thinking cap on. Accept my challenge to find a more positive user name and change that downbeat mindset.

As Del Boy would say "The worlds your lobster".

It's up to you now, change and adapt or stagnate.

another_casualty · 2 November 2015 at 8:55PM

Well lesson learned . First of all, very sorry for your loss. You seem to be handling things really well. I'm rooting for you all the way

It's amazing how people can look on the Internet .
The reason I use this username ( yeah, it is a bit morbid isn't it?), is because I thought that when you are down on your luck and you go to a money forum asking for help , you don't want to sound like Michael macintyre or somebody ott . If you could tell me how to change it , I will

The ironic thing is , I'm the opposite of how I seem on here . It takes a lot to get me down . It just that, I am stuck and am peed off at this precise time .BTW; my previous names were 'big brother worries, and Benny Hawkins . Obvious reason for the latter .
I lost my passwords for the other 2. So for now I am AC .

Anyway, I had a strange/ dangerous thought. What if I just sold my place, put my stuff in storage , go away for say a month, then return and live in bed and breakfasts for a while ?
Please keep suggestions coming

lessonlearned · 2 November 2015 at 11:09PM

Ok. AC it is then.

Staying in temp accommodation is exactly what I would suggest.....

I would Not advocate buying a property in an area you are unfamiliar with, better to rent for a few months first and get to know the place a bit.

I advise this both from my personal experience and as someone who spent most of my working life selling houses for a living. Better to take your time and make sure you know exactly where you want to live so as to avoid making a costly mistake. Yes it means two moves but it diminishes risk.

It might be cheaper to rent an unfurnished property though rather than Shell out for B&B and seperate storage fees. You need to cost it out.

As for that holiday, why not.......it might do you good, help clear your head and give you some thinking time.

I am actually off on holiday this coming Saturday, 33 days cruising around the Caribbean. My first proper holiday in over ten years. I spent 9 years caring for my husband so I think I have earned this.

If you have been dealing with illness too for a long time then a good holiday might be just the tonic you need.

It may sound self indulgent but I think holidays are a perfect "time out" - they give me thinking time and I often find that this increases my creativity and productivity.

So yes, once you have sold up then by all means take some time out to plot your next move.

In the meantime, get your flat ready for market, tackle that clutter and get the paint rollers out, make it look good to get the best selling price you can.

The more "profit" you can make on the deal the better your financial future. It might even be enough to fund a really good holiday.

In the meantime make sure you indulge your passion for music. If you can't afford to go to gigs at the moment, you can still listen to music and you could even start playing that guitar.......

All the best on your new journey.

Ps just a thought, can you make a bit of extra money playing somewhere, pubs, restaurants etc. Maybe give guitar lessons......

another_casualty · 3 November 2015 at 9:45AM

Good morning LL . Hope you have a great holiday, you need it

This illness I have ( myasthenia Gravis ) , is rare and confusing.
I put it all down to stress . I'm on steroids at the moment ,one is being reduced and the nhs have been brilliant . This has been my worst year ever;mum dying/ myasthenia / final written warning at work for shouting at my boss ( who is personnel) / financial problems.
Apart from visiting my mum in Ireland , I've had no real holiday for years either .
I don't ask for much from life . All I want to do , is have a bit of cash in my pocket

I just want to go to a gym again , without my work routine getting in the way /,have a few weekend breaks a year ( and a holiday. Why not ?;)),and possibly work part time .
For this , I've gotta move . I started painting in May . The condition I have makes me very tired / lethargic . Something that infuriates me.
I haven't played the bass guitar for months . I'm not kid enough to teach unfortunately , I just play for fun

if I move to a new area, I'd join a band as an outlet etc.
if I did sell my flat , and went in a b& b , if I was still working the wages should pay for that ? I could keep the job till I'm really sure?
So many questions

Must change my username ...

alyxzandra · 3 November 2015 at 10:01AM

another_casualty wrote: »

Good morning LL . Hope you have a great holiday, you need it
This illness I have ( myasthenia Gravis ) , is rare and confusing.
I put it all down to stress . I'm on steroids at the moment ,one is being reduced and the nhs have been brilliant . This has been my worst year ever;mum dying/ myasthenia / final written warning at work for shouting at my boss ( who is personnel) / financial problems.
Apart from visiting my mum in Ireland , I've had no real holiday for years either .
I don't ask for much from life . All I want to do , is have a bit of cash in my pocket
I just want to go to a gym again , without my work routine getting in the way /,have a few weekend breaks a year ( and a holiday. Why not ?;)),and possibly work part time .
For this , I've gotta move . I started painting in May . The condition I have makes me very tired / lethargic . Something that infuriates me.
I haven't played the bass guitar for months . I'm not kid enough to teach unfortunately , I just play for fun if I move to a new area, I'd join a band as an outlet etc.
if I did sell my flat , and went in a b& b , if I was still working the wages should pay for that ? I could keep the job till I'm really sure?
So many questions
Must change my username ...

I am sorry things have not been good. Has your work sent you to occupational health? As you have a long term illness, you are more likely covered under the equalities act 2010 and they have to make reasonable adjustments for you.

lessonlearned · 3 November 2015 at 10:50AM

Good morning AC

You sound brighter already.

You are asking yourself all the right questions, a sure sign your brain is looking for solutions.

You'll find them.

Just take your time, the answers will come to you. Just take it step by step.

Do flAts sell easily where you are.

Why not make a start by getting a few EA s round for some valuations. Kick start the process to get you motivated and get the momentum going. You don't need to sell immediately. Could you aim to,get the flat on the market next Spring say beginning of April

I know your illness causes fatigue so you will need to pace yourself so take your time, but that would give you almost 5 months to get it all together.

I have what I call the 1 Hour a day rule.

When faced with a large task that threatens to overwhelm break it down and give it 1 HR a day. You can work wonders in an hour. Then rest.

Get the clutter under control first, I'm sure you will feel better and it's an easy fix. Can you sell some of it.

Remember the old adage..

How do you eat an elephant........one bite at a time.:D

Sorry to hear about your mum.

I lost mine in March. So I lost both my husband and my mum within 7 months of each other.

Yes it was rough but I console myself that that their suffering is over, they were both "ready to go" - they both were very ill and they both had had enough.

Yes I miss them but life is still good. I have two fabulous sons and a new future DIL. A wedding to look forward to, a nice holiday.

After my holiday it will be Christmas and then in the New Year it will be time for me to start househunting and then maybe look at a couple of little sideline business to keep me off the streets.

Going to the gym would be good for you if you can try and find a way. If not can you do some exercise at home for a while.

I think in your circumstances a B&B might work better for you, you can carry on working, stay in the B&B whilst you start searching for an area to live in. Then you could rent for a while in the new area before you commit to a house purchase.

Re where to live.

Obviously you will need to find work at some point so maybe try and pick an area where work is available. Depends what you want. Do you Still want a career or just a little something to keep you ticking over so you can pursue your own oersinal interests.

Do you have skills, hobbies or interests that you could turn into little money spinners. That way you could just work part time and then have a couple of sideline money makers.

You need to,think about not exacerbating your condition although once you get rid of the stress in your life you will probably find it improves anyway and that your energy levels will return to near normal in time.

Also think about cultural activities in the new area, fun things to do. You like music, you like gigging, you like music pubs, so maybe don't go too rural. Do you drive.

A lot to think about.

But try not to be overwhelmed. You have assets, therefore you have choices. You are not trapped forever.

There's a big wide world out there, just waiting for you. There are opportunities you don't even know about yet, adventures to be experienced, people to meet, places to go, fun to be had, music to be played.

My husband died 16 months ago. Years of looking after my husband took its toll on my health, as I'm sure you can appreciate. My back was wrecked, my adrenal system shot to pieces. Gradually I've turned it round.

I take my time making sure I get plenty of sleep and building in rest breaks, I have overhauled my diet, exercise a bit each day. I feel better already, finally ready to undertake the rigours of a holiday. A year ago I wasn't even well enough to cope with a holiday.

You can do it, one step at a time.

Remember the elephant.;)

another_casualty · 3 November 2015 at 11:15AM

alyxzandra wrote: »

I am sorry things have not been good. Has your work sent you to occupational health? As you have a long term illness, you are more likely covered under the equalities act 2010 and they have to make reasonable adjustments for you.

No, the place I'm working at is struggling . It has a dads army feel to it . My old boss retired. The personnel person is my boss.!!!!!!??
Sorry for the wording, but you cannot run a dept. with that inexperience

Quit everything , and start again over 50?

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