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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 29th Jul 17, 2:06 PM
    • 6,683Posts
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    shaggydoo
    The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)
    • #1
    • 29th Jul 17, 2:06 PM
    The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14) 29th Jul 17 at 2:06 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Quote:
    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"


    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 2
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 31st Jul 17, 5:31 PM
    • 3,851 Posts
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    Barny1979
    19/20 for July
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 31st Jul 17, 10:05 PM
    • 1,111 Posts
    • 10,229 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    18/18 for July please Shaggy. OH drinking but my resolution is strong tonight.

    Good night all!
    No. 44 Save 12K in 2017 £8,500/£7,500 113%
    AFDs 112/150 14/4/10/9/7/3/18/15/17/5/5/4 74%
    • ManPants
    • By ManPants 31st Jul 17, 11:06 PM
    • 481 Posts
    • 2,912 Thanks
    ManPants
    Managed to make it to 4 AF tonight. The other nights haven't been outrageous and could almost be described as low alcohol but they weren't AF either.
    I've just suddenly thought.......my day starts at 8am and often doesn't end until after Midnight so I am having to fight the urge to drink for longer than I've ever done before. Historically, if I was struggling Id go for a walk and have an early night to resist temptation. Tonight I was resisting temptation with only a few customers left and I could easily have spun round and done a "Double Double" of spirits but decided to leave Mr MP to close up and took myself off to bed.

    Nice to be part of another new thread. Thank you.
    Isa 1,2 & 3 Full & locked away for 3 years.
    Quidco cashback £1146.74
    Quit Smoking 63 months.
    • smiley_77
    • By smiley_77 1st Aug 17, 7:41 AM
    • 92 Posts
    • 917 Thanks
    smiley_77
    .[/QUOTE
    It really doesn't matter what other people think about your drinking, Smiley. It's what you think about it that's important, and if you think it's impacting negatively on your life then it's time to act, isn't it? No one every knew I used to pour myself a very generous glass while I was doing the washing up, or a number of other things I used to be aware I was doing sort of in secret. And I hated what I'd become.
    [/QUOTE]]

    Thanks Honey Bear. I know it is ultimately me who has to live with my choices. Because I am still functioning I think people don't think that means there is a problem. If only they could be in my head! Anyway this thread is great and is really helping me. It would just be nice to have a real live person to speak to.
    Do I really need it? Probably not.
    • maggiem
    • By maggiem 1st Aug 17, 8:15 AM
    • 328 Posts
    • 2,096 Thanks
    maggiem
    Not a successful end to July but new month, new start. I am going to declare early in the hope it keeps me on the straight and narrow so 1 AFD for me please
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 1st Aug 17, 9:18 AM
    • 2,798 Posts
    • 9,985 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 1/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £11,846.85/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
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    Dec AFDs: 15/21 2017 AFDs: 295/252
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 1st Aug 17, 9:39 AM
    • 2,798 Posts
    • 9,985 Thanks
    cathybird
    Thanks Honey Bear. I know it is ultimately me who has to live with my choices. Because I am still functioning I think people don't think that means there is a problem. If only they could be in my head! Anyway this thread is great and is really helping me. It would just be nice to have a real live person to speak to.
    Originally posted by smiley_77
    Smiley, I'm sure this has been said before many times but don't you reckon one of the reasons people are jarred by those around them cutting down on booze is because it raises the spectre of whether they should think of cutting down themselves? Drinking is enjoyable (until it isn't) and most people who drink regularly hate the idea of giving up or cutting down - they think they wouldn't be able to do it, don't like the thought of having to exert the willpower, want to feel that sense of freedom that goes with being able to do exactly what you like when you like, don't want to feel constricted etc. If everyone around them drinks it confirms and supports their choices and no one has to think. So they put pressure on people to do what they do.

    It's similar when someone loses weight or is trying to, friends and family have a particular image of them and quite often don't want them to suddenly "do better" - the shift is uncomfortable and people will work subtly and not so subtly to keep things the way they are.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £11,846.85/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: £25,464.86/£10,000
    Dec AFDs: 15/21 2017 AFDs: 295/252
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 1st Aug 17, 11:26 AM
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    • 47,174 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    22/25 for me please I am Missing target by 1 day. But at least 2 of the days just involved 1 glass. And one was a glass of wine with a friend who is having a hard time and rarely drinks but wanted to have a drink so although not perfect massively improved on what came before.
    Thank you everyone for contributing and sharing.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Twenty-two is a fantastic achievemnt PSL, it really is. Well done.

    I know it is ultimately me who has to live with my choices. Because I am still functioning I think people don't think that means there is a problem. If only they could be in my head! Anyway this thread is great and is really helping me. It would just be nice to have a real live person to speak to.
    Originally posted by smiley_77
    As far as the outside world was aware, I was functioning just fine, too. OH knew I wasn't but because he enjoys a glass of wine or three and didn't think it was affecting him negatively, he assumed it was me that had the problem, not a problem with booze. There's a huge difference. Stopping drinking meant an end to my totally uncontrollable rages that only he ever saw, and were only ever directed at him. And when he cut down he discovered he could sleep through the night after 20 years of 'insomnia.'

    As to speaking to someone in the real world, it is always worth asking your GP what support is available around alcohol locally. Alternatively, I'm a fan of Soberistas and Belle at the blog Tired of Thinking about Drinking. I'm not sure what Soberistas offer but I know Belle, at some point of the 100 Day Challenge offers a phone call.

    And I'm absolutely in agreement with you, CathyBird, about people around us feeling uncomfortable with behaviour changes when we plot a new course for ourselves. They will cope, people always do, but as a species we resist change, I think partly because the status quo feels 'safe' just because we know how it works. Or doesn't, but at least it feels safely familiar.

    1/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 1st Aug 17, 11:32 AM
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    sukeyboo
    Declaring early for tonight on 1/14 please Shaggy
    • maman
    • By maman 1st Aug 17, 11:37 AM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 102,632 Thanks
    maman
    Declaring early for tonight on 1/14 please Shaggy
    Originally posted by sukeyboo

    Same here sukey, let's start as we mean to go on!


    It's good for me when a month doesn't start at a weekend. I can get a couple on the board early on.


    1 AFD please Shaggy.
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 1st Aug 17, 11:39 AM
    • 773 Posts
    • 6,006 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    Same here sukey, let's start as we mean to go on!


    It's good for me when a month doesn't start at a weekend. I can get a couple on the board early on.


    1 AFD please Shaggy.
    Originally posted by maman
    Absolutely Maman - I am aiming to have clocked up 3 before the wine comes out on Friday night
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 1st Aug 17, 9:19 PM
    • 3,851 Posts
    • 43,847 Thanks
    Barny1979
    1/24 AFDs today
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 1st Aug 17, 9:39 PM
    • 1,127 Posts
    • 4,320 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    1/20 for august

    Finished July on 24/25
    Only went to 1 work night out and this helped. Had 1 glass on wine at home which wasn't very nice and the rest were out, but at least 1 day was just 1 glass. Haven't bought alcohol for the home in ages.
    Best friend was on hol and has been busy with family - this helped. And my main drinking partner at work has got a new job.
    August is a bit more challenging.

    Thank you HB and Shaggy and everyone.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Green Karen
    • By Green Karen 2nd Aug 17, 8:12 AM
    • 251 Posts
    • 2,249 Thanks
    Green Karen
    I consider it better to report even if it's only to use this in future to see how bad I actually was!

    Stuck on 3/8 AF days for July. Can I please have a target of 5 for August thanks Shaggy.
    • smiley_77
    • By smiley_77 2nd Aug 17, 8:42 AM
    • 92 Posts
    • 917 Thanks
    smiley_77

    As to speaking to someone in the real world, it is always worth asking your GP what support is available around alcohol locally. Alternatively, I'm a fan of Soberistas and Belle at the blog Tired of Thinking about Drinking. I'm not sure what Soberistas offer but I know Belle, at some point of the 100 Day Challenge offers a phone call.

    And I'm absolutely in agreement with you, CathyBird, about people around us feeling uncomfortable with behaviour changes when we plot a new course for ourselves. They will cope, people always do, but as a species we resist change, I think partly because the status quo feels 'safe' just because we know how it works. Or doesn't, but at least it feels safely familiar.

    1/31 please, Shaggy.
    Originally posted by Honey Bear
    Thanks. Cathybird and Honey Bear. This puts it into perspective. Maybe some of my friends are too scared to let go or are using alcohol to hide something themselves. I will just have to keep remembering this.

    I have looked into Bellas website which looks interesting. You do have to pay to recieve emails from her as part of the programme but that can carry on for as long as you like not just for the length of the paid programme. She has a waiting list so what she does must work for some people. Its good to get different peoples perspectives on it too so i think it will be really useful. Thanks

    100 days without booze though! Seems a lot when I am tempted every day (brandy bottle is still on the side in the kitchen). On that note:

    1/31Please for me Shaggy.
    Do I really need it? Probably not.
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 2nd Aug 17, 9:19 AM
    • 2,798 Posts
    • 9,985 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 2/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £11,846.85/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: £25,464.86/£10,000
    Dec AFDs: 15/21 2017 AFDs: 295/252
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 2nd Aug 17, 9:39 AM
    • 773 Posts
    • 6,006 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    Declaring early on 2/14 for today please Shaggy
    • maman
    • By maman 2nd Aug 17, 11:50 AM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 102,632 Thanks
    maman
    Finished July on 24/25
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady

    I think that's a very good score PSL. 7 nights out in a month for a single person is hardly a life of debauchery! What matters is if you're dissatisfied because you would prefer to drink even less.


    Baby steps is fine greenkaren especially if you're staying in control on the drinking occasions.

    Declaring early on 2/14 for today please Shaggy
    Originally posted by sukeyboo

    It's good to know we're in this together. For some unknown reason DH offered me a glass of wine last night. I refused.


    2 AFDs please Shaggy.
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 2nd Aug 17, 1:25 PM
    • 1,111 Posts
    • 10,229 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    1 last night in a restaurant and I'm declaring early on 2/18 for today please Shaggy Back to AF again on Monday.
    No. 44 Save 12K in 2017 £8,500/£7,500 113%
    AFDs 112/150 14/4/10/9/7/3/18/15/17/5/5/4 74%
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 2nd Aug 17, 1:55 PM
    • 4,683 Posts
    • 47,174 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Haven't bought alcohol for the home in ages.
    Best friend was on hol and has been busy with family - this helped. And my main drinking partner at work has got a new job.
    August is a bit more challenging.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    There will always be excuses to drink, but now you know you can go without it for longer than you would have believed a few months ago, you're well on the way to being in control, even if you don't think you're quite there yet. Not buying any to take home is a massive change in behaviour for anyone who regularly just added a bottle or two of wine to their supermarket shopping, or dropped in to the offie on the way home - hugely well done.

    I have looked into Bellas website which looks interesting. You do have to pay to recieve emails from her as part of the programme but that can carry on for as long as you like not just for the length of the paid programme. She has a waiting list so what she does must work for some people. Its good to get different peoples perspectives on it too so i think it will be really useful. Thanks

    100 days without booze though! Seems a lot when I am tempted every day (brandy bottle is still on the side in the kitchen).
    Originally posted by smiley_77
    Don't sign up for it unless you really, really want to achieve it, because having a go and failing isn't conducive to great outcomes in the short or long run. I signed up on Day 1 when I stopped and it was absolutely brilliant, but I'm puzzled about you saying she charges for the daily email. If you read this page you'll see that you don't have to pay - it's free. She charges for the Sober Jump Start which I'm sure is worth it, but I didn't pay anything - until I gave her a voluntary donation when I reached 100 Days. At the very least she'd saved me a fortune over that three months because I didn't buy any booze, so the least I could do was share some of that saved money with her. I could still have a daily email from her if I wanted to but I don't need them any more, so I don't Which reminds me, I need to send her a Three Year anniversary donation because without her I don't know if I could have done it.

    2/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
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