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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 2,982Posts
    • 13,288Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 3
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 11th Aug 15, 2:53 PM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I've changed my signature as I was feeling pretty rubbish about it all and would rather see how far I've come in the last year rather than just the last month. I update the totals every day anyway but my percentages just looked tiny!
    I know it's a silly little thing but it's something which will make me realise I'm getting somewhere, even if it is slowly!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 12th Aug 15, 11:16 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    £5.82 from some ebay items today - paid off BC CC

    Feeling quite positive again today. My city break is in a couple of weeks and knowing that I already have the money set aside is doing wonders for my morale as I'm still able to make additional payments from salary this month rather than raiding it on payday!

    I've downloaded YNAB too and am getting my head around that slowly!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 13th Aug 15, 8:39 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    £2.79 paid off CC today. Still feeling very positive, despite the washing machine repair bill due any day!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 14th Aug 15, 11:45 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    £2.43 off CC today. It's getting closer to payday and I think I might have overdone the extra payments in my excitement as we have a shop to do on Sunday and very little to do it with!

    On the upside am out with work tonight, but that's paid for by the company so no spending for me
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 15th Aug 15, 3:27 PM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    £172.27 off BC today - hasn't changed my overall percentage much, but I've now paid almost 65% of the balance. It's my smallest balance but another one almost gone!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 15th Aug 15, 9:05 PM
    • 10,476 Posts
    • 69,551 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Good for you Kirsty. You are doing so well. I'm really impressed at just how motivated you are.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 16th Aug 15, 8:26 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Bob - I feel really motivated. There's lots of things I'd like to have bought recently, but I don't NEED them and would rather the money go to my debts. Something I never thought I'd say to be honest!

    I should probably have explained that the big payment yesterday was from some ebay sales a few weeks ago (because I'm fairly new to this selling malarkey apparently my funds won't clear for a while, which was news to me! It is nice to be able to pay a chunk off though, so it's a bonus for my mindset)

    More stuff to go on ebay later today. Stuff that I'm loathe to part with but I really need to get a grip! Sharing wardrobe space with someone else was a bit of a wake up call to how much rubbish I'd actually accrued over the years.

    Found out yesterday my clothing favourite website is closing and have a flash sale on. (If anyone has an event which they've budgeted for (haha!) take a gander at Nyla Rose. I'm quite curvy, and I love the 50's style clothes as they flatter my figure and this website does the best!) My partner is really on board with the paying off my debts but I don't think he's quite as motivated as I am (it's not his debt so why should he be really?!) but he was coming up with events that I would need to buy a dress for anyway and encouraging me to buy one from the sale. I held strong though! We do have some events coming up but if I knuckle down and start dieting properly I've got plenty of lovely frocks!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Aug 15, 10:51 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    £6.77 paid off my BC today but I'm having a bit of a moment.

    I had a super emotional day yesterday (not helped by my OH putting a weepie film on) and I can't seem to shake the feelings of nothing being right.
    I know I'm on the right track with my debt and it's going to be a long road but at least I'm dealing with it finally BUT everything else feels wrong. I can't put my finger on it. I'm worried that OH and I have rushed into living together for the wrong reasons. We both can't afford to live separately and I feel like that's been our motivation rather than WANTING to live together. We have a lot to still work out (he has the shortest temper, not with me and never violent, he just gets frustrated over the most ridiculous things and it riles me) and I have a habit of taking over and doing things myself if he isn't doing it well or on time which in turn riles him. I guess with all the talk of my fertility it's making me question if this is right for me/us. If this is the person I want a family with and if we will last.

    Sorry for the rant, I know this is a debt free diary I'm just really struggling and I feel like it might help to get it all out.

    Thanks for reading my gibberish as always x
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 17th Aug 15, 11:21 AM
    • 3,352 Posts
    • 28,790 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hang on in there. There are good days and bad days, and good times and bad times with relationships. I've been with my DH for 13 years in total and we've had some rotten times as well as some brilliant ones. We just keep working through it. Don't stress too much about rushing into living together - it's tough to get used to living with someone, when you have to learn to accept and live with your differences. I still go mad that my DH can never see fit to empty the bin in the sitting room, but I've learned to love with it.
    I had a tough day yesterday myself but have woken up feeling a bit more positive today. Be kind to yourself
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Aug 15, 12:10 PM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks crazy_cat_lady, I think I'm just having one of those days! I'm going to try and concentrate on the good things - there's so much pressure with moving in, signing a 12 month lease and the fertility thing on top. Plus we aren't really having any time doing nice things together as I'm paying everything I can off my debts so I think it's just a build up. It's my payday on Friday and we have some Zizzi vouchers (enough to cover half the meal) so I might try and treat us to some quality time together and a nice meal without breaking the bank or my favourite payment a day challenge!

    I've been following your diary, and glad your naughty Tortie is back home now - pets are the best, most worrying thing! (Well, apart from children I imagine!)
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 17th Aug 15, 3:03 PM
    • 3,352 Posts
    • 28,790 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Sounds like you have a lot going on at once to be honest - it's no surprise things get a bit much. You have to have something to break from the norm and treat yourself, and if that's an MSE meal at Zizzi then fair enough. I had a Starbucks afternoon yesterday which was very indulgent but much needed.
    The cats are like my other kids - just more for me to worry about.
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Aug 15, 3:16 PM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks CCL - sometimes it just helps to know that people are reading if that makes sense!

    I've been looking at moving to a smaller property but have some landlord issues and trying to save for a new deposit is difficult at the moment, I'm so focused on debt busting I don't like the idea of having any money in the bank that isn't going to pay rent/bills or debts! Plus the property I live in (whilst not kept well by the landlord, partly the reason) is a 3 bed, and the 2 beds locally are the same price so it's a lot of added expense to move for the sake of one room (I'm already strict with the heating - the spare/dressing room isn't heated ever! It doesn't even have a bulb in, although that will change as the mornings get darker! so it won't be saving much on bills etc)
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 17th Aug 15, 5:02 PM
    • 10,476 Posts
    • 69,551 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Kirsty really sorry you are feeling down and flat. Honestly, it is the debt free way I think. I read so many posts, and recognise the feelings you describe, where others are talking about the same thing.

    I think its because we all want out from under it, asap, but it cant be done asap, unless a wind fall etc comes our way. In your case too with the fact you are trying to deal with what has been a massive shock to you, the fertility issues, I can see why you are feeling shaken.

    I think as Cat Lady wisely says, relationships are a bit about keeping in there and keeping going. Unless there is a major reason not to of course.
    I moved in with my OH after 6 months because 2 London homes was not something we wanted to keep paying out for. It isnt the most romantic reason, but lets be real here, life is a lot about finances isnt it?
    16 years, 1 child & soon to be 2, and we are still together, & like Cat Lady says, it isnt all hearts and flowers, but we manage, & I still think he's amazing. Thats not to say man cleaning, tidying & general being a man ness are not annoying to live with....but you get the drift.
    Hang in there you really are doing all you can.

    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Aug 15, 7:34 PM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thank you all for your lovey support, it's been such a massive help. I suffer with depression anyway (prozac was my best friend for many years) in fact I think my mental health was a massive component of me getting into so much debt, and also burying my head in the sand. I sometimes have these days where I just feel like everything is getting on top of me. I have a stressful job too, which doesn't always help - everything feels a bit out of my control and I hate that feeling!

    I've just had some wonderful cheer me up help from my lovely OH, who is not only cooking dinner so I can have a break, but started paying back the money he borrowed and it's meant I have just paid off my first CC that didn't involve a balance transfer!!
    I'm so pleased! Although it hasn't completely removed the rubbish feelings, I feel much happier knowing that one is paid off.
    I also cancelled a CC I got months ago and never used which was showing on my credit file.
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 17th Aug 15, 7:38 PM
    • 10,476 Posts
    • 69,551 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Fantastic that the day has got better for you. OH sounds like he is doing a good job of being kind and helpful. Horray about the CC!
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 17th Aug 15, 7:59 PM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Bob, I forgot to say a big thank you to you and CCL for your relationship thoughts, although I know it won't all be hearts and flowers it does help to hear it from people who have been through the 'unromantic' moving in decision. I guess I need to start relying on my head as well as my heart - the best things come out of planning and what makes sense!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 17th Aug 15, 8:46 PM
    • 3,352 Posts
    • 28,790 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Well said Bob - particularly the bit where you called me wise...
    You will get there, honestly. There was one point in our relationship where I think we only stayed together because we couldn't afford to separate - but I'm pleased now because we worked things out. You'd be surprised how many 'perfect' relationships are far from it.
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 18th Aug 15, 8:43 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    You make a good point, as always

    I know everyone goes through tough times, it's just a case of making it work because we both want to, and that's half the battle I'm sure.

    OH saw how excited I was to have paid my CC off and said how proud he is of me, which was lovely to hear. (He also regularly says things like 'we still need to live, you can't not enjoy yourself' which was annoying me a bit but we've decided to have a few treats a month (each of our paydays) so we don't feel hard done to, but still very much on debt busting track. I know that might sound silly to some when I have so much debt, but I do have to remember that he doesn't have any, and I can't expect him to sit at home eating beans with me for the next few years. If it takes a little longer and we still enjoy ourselves and have 'us' time, so be it.

    It's also going to be a big help with money now he's moved in, in the short term anyway (it's a bit complicated but I live with a housemate already, who is moving out in a few months, at which point I'll be back to paying what I pay now. In the meantime I'm committed to putting all the rent that OH gives me, that I'm not used to having, towards my debts)

    I also have a car insurance cashback due shortly, fingers crossed, so that will also go to it. I'm aiming to get to £20,000 by Christmas which is an aim I've put in place without really working out if it's doable so I'm sitting down tonight with my spreadsheets (haven't quite got the hang of YNAB yet...) and will hopefully have a realistic total by tomorrow!

    In the meantime I've decided to take a little bit out of my savings account...not that there's much in there! to make an extra payment to very to keep the momentum of yesterday going! (It is nearly payday so I'm doing ok anyway)

    Thanks for reading my ramblings again!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 18th Aug 15, 5:45 PM
    • 10,476 Posts
    • 69,551 Thanks
    Bobarella
    I think £20,000 by Xmas is doable, and even if it isnt, you'll end closer to it than not if that makes sense. Keep going, keep PADing to, its a great motivator I think.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th Aug 15, 8:43 AM
    • 2,982 Posts
    • 13,288 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I am loving the PADing - I get excited about checking the bank and seeing how much I saved out of my grocery budget for example and paying that toward my debt paid £1.77 out of grocery budget as we ate meat out of the freezer 2 nights this week. My next MBNA repayment comes out tomorrow - the day before payday which isn't ideal, but it's budgeted for and waiting for the DD to take it that will bring my totals down again, happy days!

    I have shocked myself recently, I used to see an amount sitting in the bank and wonder for a second whether to pay extra off a debt but instead would decide to 'treat' myself (or more often, someone else) Now I see it and think about how much it would bring my total debt down to - a massive improvement for me and long may it continue!

    The more I try to bring my debt down, the more I think about how I got here. As I mentioned before my illness and depression hasn't helped - months of covering living expenses with credit cards took their toll but after that I had no control over myself, and often it wasn't stuff for me I was overspending on. I have a habit of going above and beyond for christmas/birthdays and just 'thinking of you' presents, especially for OH. It was his birthday not long ago, and already owing a fortune I should really have cut back, instead I bought him a PS4 and took him for a (lovely) but extremely expensive meal that I couldn't afford...I cringe when I think about it now but hopefully I'm learning my lesson!
    £450/3000 OH BC(85% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £450/31010.23 (98.54% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,950.00 (2017 O/P £1774.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16241.98/14,539.71
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