ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

jools1985 · 13 April 2017 at 1:05AM

oh no buddiebabe! I can totally relate to what you've done tonight and can almost feel that gut wrenching feeling. I've no great words of wisdom for you as what is done is done. Have you ever sought help from GA? It really helps being amongst people who understand and don't judge,

HEROWHENZERO · 13 April 2017 at 12:40PM

buddiebabe wrote: »

Not going well here at all havent posted for a long time and the email notification thats just popped through has come at the right time. I was paid my monthly wage today and have just blown it all. Im so angry and upset with myself right now.... what the hell was I thinking ive done so well for so long.

What thoughts led you to gambling? It's important to be honest with yourself and ask yourself the questions that are much easier to avoid.

https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

If you haven't been to GA before, I strongly recommend it. Without GA, I'm sure I would have gambled again, but I'm now 13 months without it. I've been where you are many times over and I can't stress enough, please reach out for help, it is there and you can do it :-)

All the best

Hero

cantcope · 19 April 2017 at 3:05PM

buddiebabe wrote: »

Not going well here at all havent posted for a long time and the email notification thats just popped through has come at the right time. I was paid my monthly wage today and have just blown it all. Im so angry and upset with myself right now.... what the hell was I thinking ive done so well for so long.

oh no

if you haven't already get some blocks on your electronics. k9 is free ( shut your eyes and smash out a password if there is nobody you can ask to do it for you) (my dad comes to my house and does mine every time i get something new) and will stop you being able to gamble on your tablet/phone/laptop.

I also second GA. I've been in the room 11 years in May and off a bet 10.5 years. i couldn't do without it. the support i get daily outside of the rooms from other members is invaluable. not just for gambling, which i rarely think about now, but for life in general, things that COULD lead me back to it.

It's my birthday today and i have more cards and well wishes from GA members than any of my friends and family! They ARE my friends and family.

jools1985 · 19 April 2017 at 9:25PM

Happy birthday CC. I hope you've had a great day. You give tremendous support to others on this thread. It's good to hear you get the same from your GA buddies

cantcope · 20 April 2017 at 12:39PM

jools1985 wrote: »

Happy birthday CC. I hope you've had a great day. You give tremendous support to others on this thread. It's good to hear you get the same from your GA buddies

Thanks Jools. :beer:

[Deleted User] · 24 April 2017 at 8:43AM

I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has remained abstinent without attending GA. My gambling addiction has always been a very private thing that I don't discuss with others, even those closest to me don't know about it. Social situations with strangers can make me anxious so I'd really like to find another way to beat this (currently on day 17 and feeling very confident about it).

cantcope · 24 April 2017 at 12:28PM

i think you might struggle to find anyone who managed to abstain for a long period of time without any support from GA or gamcare or some form of counselling. Everything is easier to deal with if you can be open and honest about it. too much pressure otherwise.

i'd be interested to know too though. i only see evidence of people returning to the rooms having not been for a period of time and they are in more debt and have lost family, friends, jobs etc

HEROWHENZERO · 25 April 2017 at 1:08AM

[quote=[Deleted User];72447025]I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has remained abstinent without attending GA. My gambling addiction has always been a very private thing that I don't discuss with others, even those closest to me don't know about it. Social situations with strangers can make me anxious so I'd really like to find another way to beat this (currently on day 17 and feeling very confident about it).[/QUOTE]

I can only tell you of my experience, and my observations of others in the fellowship. I tried on my own many many many times and failed to stay off a bet EVERY time. One the the best ways that I now stay off is by talking about it with like minded people. I've seen a number of people stop going to GA and then come back a few months having succumbed to gambling addiction.

Personally keeping everything private was what fuelled my continued gambling, as I was not accountable and hadn't declared that I had an issue. Being open and honest about my addiction was vital to staying off, and my family appreciate it. All the time I kept it to myself I suffered in silence, and the suffering would surface in other indirect ways, taking out frustration on my loved ones, normally without even realising it.

I've not gambled now since 15/03/2016 and I'm pretty sure that without GA and honesty, I would have gambled since then.

I really hope you all the success in your gambling free recovery, but I strongly suggest you give GA a try. Gambling addiction is an illness and GA is my weekly medicine.

Hero

S3ph1 · 30 April 2017 at 6:15PM

Hi,

I'm a gambler and have racked up £11000 of debt trying to chase back losses over the past 8 months. I used to be relaxed and gamble for fun only what I could afford, but one month a while back I got a bit drunk in my local casino and pretty much withdrew everything and lost.... Probably wouldn't be writing this now if I won from it, but... being the beginning of the month when this happened, I stupidly turned to a payday loan to get me through the month. (My credit was on the verge of Fair and Bad at this point)
Well... this is where it went reeeealllly bad, as come the time I had to pay back the payday loan on payday, it didn't leave me much, and rather than turn to another payday loan, I thought I'd open an online casino account and try gamble a bit to earn a bit. (Don't know which would've been worse, another payday loan or gamble it.)
Well.... I lost again, as gambling is a mugs game and I'm clearly a mug.
I took out loans and a credit card with high interest to get me through but with thoughts of payday being non existent due to being swallowed up with debt repayments, I gambled pretty much all of it. Depression setting in, it began a downward spiral of gambling what I didn't have to try make a quick buck for a less stressful month.
Well, again I've never turned a profit for months and my debts are sky high and have no way of paying them back. 2 defaults and 2 CCJs mean I can't even borrow more which I guess is a good thing.
I have applied for a loan at my local credit union and am awaiting their reply. This would cover ALL my debts with a simple £350 a month repayment (20% of my monthly salary) which if approved will be a dream come true. If not, I'm really down the toilet.

My question is, I only gamble relentlessly when I'm 'chasing' yet I'm concerned that if I get this loan from the credit union (which may be a big IF) that I'll pay off all my debt and the payments come straight out of my salary before it even hits my bank account... but is this a wise idea? And do any gambling addicts believe I will just be able to stop gambling with out any help? I'm kinda thinking I have a big gambling problem, but the other hand I'm thinking it's just one stupid night that went wrong, with many wrong decisions relating to gambling afterwards. I don't feel I need to have a bet, I don't feel I have to place money on a blackjack table, but I just did it because I thought it was (stupidly) an option out of debt.

Any advice?

Thanks!

HEROWHENZERO · 2 May 2017 at 5:16PM

Hey S3ph1,

It sounds like you've crossed the line from responsible gambling to compulsive gambling. You're no mug, just someone who like many of us have been lured into the destructive pattern of compulsive gambling.

I strongly suggest you take a look at gamblers anonymous and find your nearest meeting. You'll quickly realise you are not alone, and within the fellowship, the only requirement being a desire to stop gambling, can gain help to stop and stay stopped by following a simple 12 step program.

I tried many times to stop on my own and failed every time. The debts will get better over time, but from my experience, continuing to gamble will only ever make them worse.

One day at a time

Hero

S3ph1 wrote: »

Hi,

I'm a gambler and have racked up £11000 of debt trying to chase back losses over the past 8 months. I used to be relaxed and gamble for fun only what I could afford, but one month a while back I got a bit drunk in my local casino and pretty much withdrew everything and lost.... Probably wouldn't be writing this now if I won from it, but... being the beginning of the month when this happened, I stupidly turned to a payday loan to get me through the month. (My credit was on the verge of Fair and Bad at this point)
Well... this is where it went reeeealllly bad, as come the time I had to pay back the payday loan on payday, it didn't leave me much, and rather than turn to another payday loan, I thought I'd open an online casino account and try gamble a bit to earn a bit. (Don't know which would've been worse, another payday loan or gamble it.)
Well.... I lost again, as gambling is a mugs game and I'm clearly a mug.
I took out loans and a credit card with high interest to get me through but with thoughts of payday being non existent due to being swallowed up with debt repayments, I gambled pretty much all of it. Depression setting in, it began a downward spiral of gambling what I didn't have to try make a quick buck for a less stressful month.
Well, again I've never turned a profit for months and my debts are sky high and have no way of paying them back. 2 defaults and 2 CCJs mean I can't even borrow more which I guess is a good thing.
I have applied for a loan at my local credit union and am awaiting their reply. This would cover ALL my debts with a simple £350 a month repayment (20% of my monthly salary) which if approved will be a dream come true. If not, I'm really down the toilet.

My question is, I only gamble relentlessly when I'm 'chasing' yet I'm concerned that if I get this loan from the credit union (which may be a big IF) that I'll pay off all my debt and the payments come straight out of my salary before it even hits my bank account... but is this a wise idea? And do any gambling addicts believe I will just be able to stop gambling with out any help? I'm kinda thinking I have a big gambling problem, but the other hand I'm thinking it's just one stupid night that went wrong, with many wrong decisions relating to gambling afterwards. I don't feel I need to have a bet, I don't feel I have to place money on a blackjack table, but I just did it because I thought it was (stupidly) an option out of debt.

Any advice?

Thanks!

ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

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