What a mess:-(

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  • So far this week I've spent £1 on some milk!:rotfl:
    I need to go shopping after work today, I will do a list and only get what's on it.
    I don't seem to have much in my surest not spending but let's hope my bank acc is looking healthy!
    On the home- front- OH is still here, busy checking out furniture for his new pad, ( he never mentions a owed about to me, that makes me sad that after 29 yrs he can't even chat to me:( ) we pass the polite conversation about work and that's about it,
    Our sons haven't been told yet,
    OH has told his parents and they have given him their old car!!! I know his mum will be devastated , she is very proud of her 'little family' and adores me and her grandsons with all her heart. :(
    I know some of you on here stick to only MSE advice and I thank you, for those of you also offering hugs and emotional help I thank you a bit more as on the outside I'm keeping it together but inside I'm really struggling , each hour is a battle and I'm feeling seeker by the day,
    I really am so very sad, I wish I could flick a switch and feel better , but I'm in such a dark place I can't see the bloody switch,
    I keep thinking why me?
    I never feel sorry for myself and I'm a cup half full kinda girl!
    Sorry to go on ,but writing this is the only way I keep going each day.
    :(
    :money: I will never be rich but I'm happy :rotfl:
  • *hug*

    :)

    Never apologise for 'going on'. It's a diary and that's what it's here for. If it helps you to offload and share with someone else, be it strangers or otherwise, then keep doing it!

    I wrote a quote in my diary not too long ago, and I'm gonna copy it here too. It's from a book I read recently, 'The Art of Being Brilliant'...
    10% of life is made up of what happens to you
    90% of life is decided by how you react to the 10%

    This is something I need to remind myself of every day. I've a few wee challenges for myself going on too, the main one is to keep my happy face on! :D Sounds silly but that mental note in my head does actually help!!!

    :)
    Wealth is what you're left with when all your money runs out
  • As you know I've recently been in a similar situation. As much as it hurt when my husband left, I can now focus on getting things back on track and the time spent on supporting my husband can now be spent on my daughter. She seems happier, for the most part, and although I have had my ups and downs I'm happier too.
    I can't help with the financial situation I'm afraid as my husband never really worked, just liked spending my money so I'm actually a lot better off now he's not here.
    "Failure is always an option"

    Sealed pot challenge #107 - still going strong
  • :( yesterday was worse day ever- well so far anyway :(
    OH said he was moving out to a flat next Friday. I asked if he'd given any thought about money for our sons and he checked on some web-site and came up with £75 a week for the both boys (300) a month!
    Call me stupid but I thought about 400/500 . He says its based on basic pay and he gets nearly 1/3 more pay in overtime.
    Gutted.
    I ask him is this really the end ? But he's not opening up and struggles to talk, he then comes out with random things just for the sake of having a reason for going!
    He then goes to post a letter, 4 hours later comes in a bit tipsy, well you can guess - mother of all rows !:eek:
    When he walked in I smiled and asked where he'd been? He 'bit' back that he'd been for a drink with a mate, ( he'd stopped drinking at the end of Aug ) I asked if he was on the booze again and he was really short with me, I said I wasn't being sarcastic but he was so up for a fight, what ever I said he said the opposite .
    He came out with some really hurtful stuff :(
    I went to bed and sobbed and sobbed until I finally fell asleep :(
    So very unhappy and if it were up to I'd work harder and make it work. I mentioned he going back on anti-depressants and he told me again he's not depressed and that I've ruled his life.
    He even blamed me for him falling out with people over the years :mad:

    It really is a mess :(
    And I feel it's about to get a whole lot messier :eek:
    :money: I will never be rich but I'm happy :rotfl:
  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698
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    You are not to blame for his unhappiness, his drinking or his falling out with people.

    Concentrate on your boys and yourself and let him get on with it, if he realises that you had something good after he goes he might be lucky and you can save it or you may have realised that you are better off without him and started on a better life.
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
  • Well I knew it was gonna get worse :mad:
    I went food shopping this morning and whilst out OH decides to tell the kids and then packs up to all his gear to go to his parents for a few days before he gets his flat on Friday :mad:
    When I got in I had a chat with kids , my eldest was very upset and had a good cry, he also almost described OH behaviour (and decline since everything went wrong for us, ) exactly as I've been ! I was sort of a bit pleased as it didn't seem like its only all in my head !
    My younger child was slightly pleased knowing he wasn't going to get shouted at so much!
    He then pops back and I ask for his key and he says I can have it when he's taken all his gear :mad:
    :money: I will never be rich but I'm happy :rotfl:
  • It looks like you're getting a lot of good advice on here.
    I highly recommend the lodger. I know someone who has 6 students lodging - she makes them breakfast and a packed lunch, and is making over £2k a month.

    Anyhow, just wanted to say - chin up, and I wish you well.
  • I would love to do the lodger/student thing , a lot of my friends do it and make a good sum of dosh;)
    I however don't have the room , my 3rd bedroom is tiny , not enough room for a bedside table or even for my son to put all his things ,
    So it really wouldn't be suitable to rent .
    Another friend of mine turned her lounge into a bedroom, but my downstairs is open plan so without getting the builders in or having my 2 teen lads in with me I don't see the rent a room option for me:(
    :money: I will never be rich but I'm happy :rotfl:
  • Good morning all!
    Well it's a brand new week , so I'm full of hope and optimism
    I feel the first thing I really need to give the most thought about is my mortgage -
    It is £120,000 and interest only :mad:
    House is worth £150,000 - £185,000
    The way I see it is I have 3 main options......
    Option A-- stay here keep paying interest only ( ok like rent but cheaper ) and work hard to save any extra to stash away, then sell up and divide equity when kids out of education.

    Option B--sell now , then either rent or try to get another mortgage ( not sure on my part wage that's going to be possible )

    Option C-- get mortgage in my name - and on repayment then work my backside off to bring the total down- I have 4 years of this as that's when my kids are out of full time education. Am I really going to pay that much to make a difference ?

    Please can you advise and help :)
    :money: I will never be rich but I'm happy :rotfl:
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,117
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Forumite
    Can't help re mortgage and what to do, but as you are a hairdresser, could you do mobile as well as your part-time job to bring in extra cash?
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